That's it.

Sometimes you should just know when to stop.

Some things are just not worth it.

So this is me. Stopping.

Best brownie...and some gibberish

This evening I met Mr. F for a sinful dessert and great conversation. Mostly we talked about the trip, this being my first sort-of-vacation alone without my family, and his first trip overseas...period, ever! 'Course, there's a reason to be excited whichever scenario you fall into.

But we drooled on and on about this little heavenly devil right here.

We shared this amazing brownie and I have to say, it's absolutely delicious. Look at those chocolate flakes around the plates! It already looks so tempting just in appearance, and the brownie tastes perfect! Not being too sweet 'cos I can't stand that after a few bites. And I'm not normally too much of a chocolatey person, but even I was gushing.

Taking turns digging in...

I looked so demure in this, while Mr. F seemed rather spastic!

Yum! I'm getting hungry again just looking at these pictures!

I also ordered a cookies and cream shake, which is unbelievably sinful too! Really, the desserts there are fanfuckingtastic...

Tried the finger food combo as well, but it wasn't nearly as good as the dessert..

I'm flying off on Friday morning, and a part of me is glad that I'll be leaving him. Maybe it's better to just leave all that behind. Whatever will happen, well, let me just worry about that a month from now.

...the sight which I have associated with him.

Ah man, what happens to ZEN?! It's getting late, it must have gotten me sentimentil.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to write a bit more. I won't be bringing my laptop to the States so this blog might be deserted for a while, but I'll try to still write, anyway. Or maybe I should do one of those blackout thing [like that group in Facebook where people agree to not use facebook in one day together], yeah, and be like, internet-free for the whole month, getting away from the earthly desires and influences and all that. Ha!

Days Away

And this is what my dear friend said after I poured my heart and soul.

"Fuck it, you'll be fine. I dunno, I'm in one of those 'nothing matters' moods, so yeah, maybe I shouldn't be talking all existentialist and shit."

He continued, "The universe is interconnected, reality is an illusion. Our concepts of ego are just perversions upon the simple void mind."

Who the hell am I talking to? Dalai Lama?

But no, really. We have spent some good hours talking about this book I'm currently reading, A Prayer for Owen Meany, and it's good in a religious-philosophical kinda way. It's definitely something I don't normally read, but it's proven to be quite a good change.

[Thanks for the recommendation!]

If only I could have that zen attitude throughout, I foresee I'll be a much happier person. In reality, though, whenever something bad happens, I would be the first to react just because I get too affected. And that's not a good thing.

"I'm listening to japanese flute music, so intense! Doing this whole non-drinking thing, drinking tea instead. I'm reading these books on medication and focus."

Man, give me back my bimbotic buddy. Just hope this new transformation, all this yin-yang and zen will rub some on me. Granted, I'll need that.

But! I shall leave all that behind for now, and I'm determined to have a mondofabulous trip! [even if mondofabulous is not a real word according to some].

Last night I made a little visit to the east part of the town in search for some good pilots food. I've honestly never been to Tampines mall before, and the place was actually quite huge and nice. I don't think I need to spend almost an hour on the way just to windowshop at Mango and eat Pastamania, though. But I got to see my friend, but dear, next time let's just stick to town, okay? ;)

So I've been picking up my winter jacket and sweaters from the dry cleaning, and they are huge! My luggage looks kinda scary too in size. I haven't been packing much at all, well, but hey, it's me we're talking about here. You should freak if I have started packing.

December

This is our favourite time of year
We love counting the days 'til Christmas is here!
Wrapping gifts is so much fun
We can't wait to sing out with everyone!

It's December, yo'all! And yes, we better mark our calendar 'cos what could be more fun than ticking the days away to build up the anticipation until Christmas?

My Christmas tradition isn't grand, it isn't even that posh. At home, we would bring out the christmas tree, put up all the ornaments with our own bare hands and our slightly mediocre decorating skill, then carefully adjust the fake snow, and last, circle the lighting bulb all around the tree.

Oh, no, that isn't the last part. The last and best part is to connect the lighting to the powerpoint, press 'on' and then tada! Christmas songs are played and the lights shine and change color according to the beat of the song. From afar, it looks cool as hell, like a 'dancing tree'. Of course, there are only a few selections of the songs, so eventually it ends up repeating the same song over and over again. After about an hour, and the novelty factor has dried up, it can be quite annoying and painful to the ear. And it's not like the 'rudolf the red nose reindeer' or the 'silent night', among many, are played with piano or soft-to-the-ear instruments, instead I think it's by trumpet or something.

We would prefer to sing, to be honest. We have a rather grand organ in our living room back home, so at night the three of us would sit by it, I'm normally the one who plays it although I don't have too good of a multitasking skill [dammit, I want to sing too!] We sing christmas songs and swing our bodies, at times Mom and Dad would also sit in the living room and just listen to our singing. Although most of the times, our only audience is mosquitoes. We don't mind that, because we're self-aware that we are no Mariah Carey.

After we're done with our singing [mostly because we were already sweating at this point - it can be really hot and humid at night in Jakarta], we would then proceed to Mom and Dad's room where it certainly would have been air-conditioned. It never occured to us that maybe our parents needed a bit of privacy after almost wrecking their ears.

We then, between laughters, would put on Disney christmas edition's sing-along-song VCD and again, sing. Knowing there's no escape, our parents would just ignore that we're there, Mom busily cutting fruits, and Dad...well..who knows what's he doing exactly. Sometimes they would look at us, a hopeless look on their faces as if saying, "are they really ours?" and then let out a big loud sigh. At that time we thought they were sighing in admiration, and we thought that desperation was really pride.

It is a low-key tradition, but it's always the same, year after year, and there's a deep comfort in it. And at this time especially, I feel grateful of my family, because who else would keep up with our singing, and who else would share my enthusiasm of being silly in decorating christmas tree and singing our hearts out to Disney VCD?

We're not big on exchanging gifts either. In fact, the only recollection I have regarding christmas present is that one time when Dad hid 'Home Alone' VCD under my pillow. Being a kid, and every kid is guiltily bound to be a fan of Macauley Culkin at some point in his/her life, I was pretty darn happy, and it never crossed my mind that Dad's merely being a cheapskate.

But Dad's never good in the gift department, and that's how he is, someone we've come to love. And Mom? Because my birthday is so near christmas, she would normally just give me a birthday present. Signed by both her and Dad, although I'm sure he had nothing to do with it. I mean, Home Alone VCD? It's so Dad. But beautiful necklace? Um, so not him.

What goes along with Christmas time during my younger years back home is giving away christmas cards to friends at school. This is such a tradition, that come December, people already start stocking and buying christmas cards in dozens. Some just fill them in with their friends' names, and some more creative ones would literally, write an essay for every card, specially customized for the recipients. I'm more to the latter, because I'm a geek that way.

I still keep those christmas cards from my friends because they are priceless, really. I guess I'm sentimentil that way, I keep most of the things I've gotten during my school years, let they be presents, letters, cards, photos, invitations and whatever else.

I was content with what we had. Christmas tradition means a lot to me, but I've been away for a few Christmasses now, and I'll be away again this year. The tree and the singing will have to wait, but come Christmas day, I will imagine myself home, doing exactly this with the people I love; there will not be a single thing forgotten.

Good Saturday

A day at the beach did me good yesterday. There's something very calming about watching the ocean. It was one of those not-so-commercialized beach, one which is not entirely packed by sweaty bodies and bikini babes. The guests were showing up with their wifes and children, their blond hair being swept away by the wind. Waitresses were circling around and handing out drinks, children laughing away throwing balls in the games stands and candy flosses and popcorns were offered at the side.

Despite the heavy rain, people's mood weren't much dampened. We all gathered around in the bar to enjoy lunch and everyone squeezed in to avoid the strong wind. It's funny to see those big-muscles, otherwise-fierce-looking men seemed to mellow greatly when they were holding their children, like they would break if they held them too tightly. People really do change once they have kids, priorities are sorted out, what was important feels frivolous now.

Sushi, fried rice and noodles, teriyaki chicken and chicken wings were on the menu; beer, wine and soft drinks were available all around, of course. Music was blasting through the speaker, enough to get everyone in a light and outgoing mood, and just enough not to get them to move their arses as if this were a dance club.

After lunch, the rain miraculously stopped, and the weather soon became scorching hot. I must have had at least 5 glasses of fruit punch and 2 Ben and Jerry's ice cream at that point. I'm definitely full and in such a state of a happy daze.

I can get used to this.

I'm the worst tequila-hater ever!

Shame on me! Shame on me! Shame on me! SHAME ON ME!!!

I had tequila last night. Yeah, yeah, please 'boo' me, and feel free to throw me any kinds of objects! I really do have a bloody loads amount of self-control. Yeah.

Blame my friends. Well, no, don't, bless them.

We were trying to get drinks at Butter Factory, and the queue was as long as The Great Wall. What should one do to get a drink around here, for goodness sake? After more than half an hour, we headed to Arena, but you know how the lychee martini there is like. Very much dilluted, pretty much tasted like syrup and extra sweetener. Are you sure this is martini, mate?

At this point my friend demanded shots of tequila. But I'm not anything if not thruthful to my own words! Suddenly having an Obama moment, I held up my hand, harden my face and said, "No, no, no! NO NO NO tequila! It's a CHANGE we can believe in!"

I continued to babble on and on about how it took just a second to finish tequila and we wouldn't have had the chance to savor it. So I insisted to just get a jug of vodka lime.

Know how long did it take for us to, supposedly savor it? Well, a few seconds, tops. Man, who are these people?! Looks like tigers which have just been released from their cages! Deprived of alcohol! Die, die, must finish!

So, as expected, the vodka did little to our systems, and by the time we reached Attica, we were still reciting poems and solving trigonometry.

So one friend looked at me, a triumphant look on her face. "WE SHOULD HAVE HAD TEQUILA TO BEGIN WITH!" I noticed a dissapointment glance too, as if saying, "Tina..I thought you knew what's best for us..You've let me down..." And she marched to the bar and ordered five shots.

And that's how I broke my own commitment I just made a day before.

After which, they started to sway from side to side, wink to cute guys in pink, bat their eyelids to the bartenders, and pout sexily when the camera flashed!

Man, man, man! The power of tequila!

Thanks to the photographer for this...uhm..meaningful shot.

This picture looks so wrong on so many levels.

Oh, and yes, my non-existential bosom looks really, really appealing.

Note to self

I can't take tequila.

I can deal with vodka, martell and Jack Daniels, but give me a shot of tequila, and I'm out. Out, like the '80s fashion.

I found the taste of tequila to be quite unbearable and hugely nauseating. I made a fatal mistake of having this little piece of jackass last time and I was completely wasted in the cab home. Puking up was this close, but vomitting inside the taxi might not be the smartest move. But nothing held me back at home. Suffice to say, as much as the thought of holding my hair up while I was puking is deeply appealing, feel grateful that you're not around when it happened. Feel really, really grateful.

The next day I stayed home the whole time because my stomach felt like shit and the taste just simply wouldn't go away. It was just around noon that I made a mental commitment to swear off tequila forever. No, really. No more tequila for eternity.

"Ignore"

723 REQUESTS?!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS????

The First

Dear Keppel-tourist,

I saw it coming, long before it finally came full circle. It’s like waiting for the tide to crash, and instead of ducking, I wanted to embrace it as much as I could because I was a simple girl, eager to get the first sip of her wine. That’s a metaphore, by the way.

The day started like any other day. The sky wasn’t much bluer than usual, the wind wasn’t blowing for too strong, the air was crisp, and everybody else was pacing on normal speed, oblivious to the change that would soon happened to us. No lives were affected but ours, and we were pretty damn happy nonetheless. The minutes leading to this, no stars would allign up differently, and the world would remain unfaltering. Funny how hugely unconnected people’s lives are.

I was young, way too young, mentally naive and physically awkward. People say the most important time on a girl’s life is the wedding day, but what happens to those moments in between?

It wasn’t perfect and I could picture a zillion other scenarios in which it could have been perfect, yet it was priceless in its own way, despite its countless flaws. Just like you. I was mellow and foolishly melancholic, thinking that I was lucky beyond belief, and that any girls in my class would have died to exchange place with me, just at that moment.

And it happened exactly as I had imagined, and so in a way, it was perfect. The thought of it now is probably rather sickening but I struggled to find words to describe it any other way.

The sight of you was familiar and comforting. The way you focused your eyes on the road ahead and gripped the steering wheel with so much concentration. I couldn’t help having the urge to brush your cheek. Or just mutter something silly to make you laugh.

You held my hand so I wouldn’t get lost in the midst of the crowd and you didn’t know, but my heart jumped. I felt inadequate then, this tininess and cluelessness against the strong and independent. I tried to appear older, like I knew more than I did, like I have been to places I haven’t been, but you took one look and understood. I was emotionally buoyant, like I was in such a daze. You looked…light, happy.

It’s probably nothing now, and the object of my then-affection has taken a different direction but the memory would remain unchanged. Introducing the prospect of something new? Teaching me to be less selfish? Making me think for two? I don't know if I can make it that dramatic.

You remind me how I was before. How trusting and emotionally innocent.

Do you know that?

But how much has exactly changed? After years of practising what you have started, I don’t think I’ve gotten any better. Mentally, fortunately or not, I’m still naive. It should take more than what he did to change that. And in a way, I’m proud of it. In retrospect, I think we turned out pretty good.

Warning

You remind me of an innocent boy, the shy one who sits at the back at the class, the boy who whispers instead of talking. No, but you're not like that at all, you only look like it. In fact, you talk quite a lot, and it's amusing. I have to really pay attention to what you're saying 'cos you have this very deep and intense voice, and I'm afraid I might miss it if I just look away. Not that I want to look away.

I wonder what you're thinking. We seem to be acting in the exact same way, but I can never know what's in your mind. Is it just a convenience because you need a company? At the time, it can't possibly be it, but in the broad daylight, anything is possible.

Just a silent warning; I need to keep my guard up.

Mixed random stuffs

Once upon a time there was a girl who could tell right from wrong, and black from white. She had such an idealist perception that only little girls could posses these days, because apparently growing up somehow makes the line blurry, somehow she lost that line, and what's lost can never be found.

She has to make some tough choices, irrational sometimes but they feel good. Is feeling good so unacceptable? She dares to follow through, to be a little more spontaneous, to enjoy life without analyzing it too much. Right or wrong, she's not so sure, and sometimes she just doesn't care.

Obviously people around her are bound to have different opinions. And they're not holding anything back to tell it to her face. And after everything these people have been through with her, she didn't think they would judge. Especially when they were doing the exact same thing, and she has never once muttered a judgmental remark, because people should do what makes them happy and as long as they don't hurt others in the process, than that's golden. She tries not to even silently judge. And it pissed her off when these acclaimed-self-righteous people did.

What's low is that sometimes people have to bring others down just to make themselves feel better. But she tries to be more unaffected, albeit hard as she considers herself to be too emotional. Guess she just has to realize that some people simply don't think. Don't assume all are conscious.

She wishes she can just live her life and not care about what others think. That 'I don't give a rat's ass' attitude. How do we become adults, and how do we make it stop...

..and so it came to an end.

I successfully have finished my pris...eh, I mean, internship time!

Last Tuesday it was a day of many 'lasts'. It was the last time I would have to wake up at 6.30 am, it was the last time I would make my way to Tanjong Pagar, sweating and panting halfway walking to the station (you wouldn't believe how hot it could get at 8 freaking am!), it was the last time I would walk past Amoy Food Centre, it was the last time I would get inside my building and tap my card after nonchalantly glancing at gorgeous men from RMJM (their office unit's just next to ours), it was the last time I would make my usual Milo drink for breakfast at the pantry, it was the last time I would sit in my desk, facing the super-scary-if-you-work-directly-with-her-but-nice-when-you-don't Manager of Media, it was the last time I would work with my great colleagues and supervisors, oh the list goes on and on and I realize how dramatic I made everything sound.

But it's true! Couldn't help feeling rather sad about it, it truly was a great experience and everyone has been so nice and encouraging I couldn't imagine being in a more friendly working environment. The account director even already prepared a recommendation letter before I had to request it and what's written inside made me blush. It was such a glowing review that I had to wonder whether they actually have a template already and they just had to pluck in my name. Well, that's not a good thought.

So since then, I suddenly have all this free time and I feel like I have to do something. It's like having your routine disrupted. I still wake up early even though I don't have to, and I miss the sense of importance, the picking-up calls and sending mails. Man, I'm such a dork.

Yeah, so work's pretty much done and I'm leaving in 2 weeks roughly, wow.

Fortunately since yesterday I have been occupied with going out with friends and mate's in town so Jap and I have been meeting him up a lot. Give it a few days and I'm sure I will be running out of things to do.

Vibees, will miss you guys.

So Cool.

Hi guys! Just a quick puke of update. I'm having exam tomorrow morning, now it's past 1 freaking am and I still have absolutely zero mood to study. So zero that Coke can't even beat me, gosh I'm in such a deep trouble.

I guess I really have to start eventually, like now! Yes, yes.

Today cool thing happened at work, well, two things, actually. First was, the managing director praised me, mwa-ha-ha-ha, who's the man! Yo yo wassup! He was so impressed by me because quoted, the way I carry myself. Wooo! I somehow carry myself well in some cases, turns out I'm not always hopeless. That's cool, yo, but after this I won't be able to get through the door. At this rate my head is growing, I won't even get off from this clothes!

And the other thing, since there's only a few days left for me at work, I have to do a handout, well, basically a report on everything I have been working on during my 2-months stay in the company. Now I tried to embellish, but my command of english is not yet that excellent. I mean, I can't make a frog sound attractive, yet.

I sent the report over to my sweet supervisor, and she revised the whole document and, man! Wait 'til you read that. If you were my future boss, you would be super impressed you would want me to marry you. No kidding. It's true I did all those things, it's just the way she put it sounds a gazzilion times better. Maybe next time if I feel more self-centered, I'll post the report up. So that's really, really cool. Cool, yo.

Okay, before I go, though, I just wanna share this with you. Check out this, yo, a Glamour interview with Jason Mulgrew. Been a fan, he's one of the funniest blogger out there.

So, I better grab my textbook now, wish me luck for tomorrow's exam!

Easy Breezy

I just did my interview at the embassy this morning, and despite a minor setback, like, catching a semi-heart attack because I got there late, everything went really well. I met Fairuz, Aaron and Gerry there 'by accident' so we ended up having a laugh while waiting. I must have spent at least four hours, with no handphone, no nothing, I was even told not to bring big bag so I just clung on to this small clutch with nothing inside to occupy myself while my hair turned grey. But am so glad it's over and done with. So far I've only managed to find one grey hair, so damage is minimum, rest assured.

3 more working days, I can't believe it! Fine, so 2 months is hardly anything, but it seems like a big deal to me, miss short-attention-span. I'm doing pretty okay, I suppose.

Just last night too, I went on this new buffet place in Boat Quay who isn't even officially opened yet. The opening is just this weekend, so the place was deserted. In fact, we were the only people there, and the foodspread was just lavished. The waitresses were super attentive, they already took the plates away even when we still chew on the meat, well, not like I could blame them, I bet they're ridiculously bored. It's not bad, though, the all-you-can-eat price includes cocktails and all types of hot drinks as well.

At this rate, I really should watch the food I eat. I've been having too many buffets, too many fast food and too many pork, but I've started eating fruits and more veggies these days, which is typically so unlike me. But naturally I don't not like fruits, I simply don't bother buying one. Now I make mental notes to buy some when I walk pass the market on my way home from work. Been successful so far, hmm. Wonder how long it'll last.

2 songs:

1. All-Star Charity - Just Stand Up
The track by Beyonce, Fergie, Mariah Carey, Rihanna, Carrie Underwood, Sheryl Crow, Mary J. Blige, and many other female singers on behalf on the cancer foundation. This song has been playing in the radio for quite some time and I've always liked it, but I've never known the title and the singer until only recently. The song's really empowering and it's always great to see a good collaboration.

2. Jason Mraz and James Morrison - Details in the Fabric
My two favorite singers in one track! You know from the lyrics that it must be Jason's song, though, it's fantastic. I love their voices together, and James Morrison has such a unique vocal, he can almost make every song sentimentil. Even if he sings an upbeat song, it will most definitely still sound mellow.

My exam is in two days time and I barely touch my notes. I shall worry about that tomorrow night, that's cutting it too close! Looking forward to weekend, despite it all, though. I'm quite excited of mate's coming over next week, so I'm sure I'll have more to tell after!

These people must get common-sense injections for our sake

I remember writing once here about inconsiderate and unrealiable people. Unfortunately, right now I'm going to expand the list, because of course these people can only duplicate and multiply, hatching even more inconsiderate children and grandchildren, and one day in the future, they are going to rule the world, and well, good luck to us all.

You may say I'm exaggerating, but I'm really not. Everything begins with small things, right? If common sense can't even grasp the 'small' things, then what chance does it have towards the big ones? Exactly the point, if people can be so inconsiderate in such frivolous issues, what makes you think they can deal differently in a life-and-death situation?

First example. My sister was in the train a few days ago and due to the peak hours, it was packed and she had to stand by the door, pressed and nudged from every direction. At one point, the train made a sudden movement, and a guy in front of her literally fell down to her. His whole greasy, sweaty, and not to mention, heavy body, in all its glory, shoved my sister, and he didn't even look back, let alone mutter an apology. He did not even turn around to address the poor person he has fell on to! Now I'd say these rude, inconsiderate people with no manner should be banished from the island immediately. You would think that saying 'sorry' is already a form of spontaneouity in itself, something you no longer have to think sometimes. But no, to some idiotic guy, it's apparently a new concept.

One more thing. Avoidance is not the answer to anything, especially when you were the one asking for it to begin with. Let me be absolutely frank here, although I won't mention names. A colleague of mine is urgently in need for an intern to start soon, and I've been asking some friends of mine who might be interested for the position. Through a friend, this third party came along. She said she wanted the job so I guided and recommended her to my colleague who called her up and immediately set up an interview. Now any normal beings would be grateful, no?

Well, you can count on these inconsiderate, low-mannered people to spoil it all, really. Not only did she not show up for the interview, she didn't even pick up and return my calls and text messages. Suddenly she's Britney Spears, suddenly she's Miss Fucking Busy? Bite me.

If you change your mind about the job, the very least thing you can do, is call and let us know, really. Like, REALLY. Although it has nothing to do with me, I can't help feeling bad because I was the one recommending her and she didn't even bother to fucking call, wait, no, even text me. FFS?? Inconsiderate enough?

Here's a piece of advice. It's okay being scared, it's okay feeling intimated by the job, it's okay to change your mind when you're unsure, that's all your prerogative, like, I don't give a damn. But, you asked me for the job, you've agreed to come in for an interview, like, what the fuck? Is picking up the phone to cancel the appointment too much of a hassle?

Another instance. Just to lick your own wound, remember the time before the exam when we're supposed to divide the workload among us, and last minute you threw everything in my face, virtually said 'that's it' and I had to rush to write all my notes which were supposed to be done on your part? Remind me why you did that again? Ah yes, first was because your boyfriend initially agreed to make your assignment so you had the time to make notes. Now that's idiotic, but hey, your boyfriend, your shit assignment, I couldn't care less. But wait, there's another thing. After taking all my notes, you then said that most of them were the wrong answers. The end is still the same, you did not finish your part and I'm left with only a few days to scramble the pieces.

Just curious, how did the exam go? Since my answers were all wrong, I must have failed it, no? Afterall, not only did I not change the notes on my part, I also had to rush the remaining shitty half, remember? Enlighten me, please, you must have a fucking distinction, then, because I got a fucking A for that subject. Oh wait, A is a fucking distinction.

I don't get it. Some ungrateful, inconsiderate and unrealiable bunch.

So that's it, I'm officially fed up, I have no patience for high-level idiocy. The point? We've really been taking common sense for granted.

------------------------------------------

As I'm writing this in the office, I feel my blood rise once again. Today is a slow day in the office, I was able to have lunch with a dear former classmate of mine and there isn't much work to do as of now, so like after spending time browsing and struggling to make my school assignment, I finally resort to ranting. Before I know it, it's almost 6 already!

To a [hopefully] great week ahead!

No, we didn't look that orange-y when the picture was taken. Well, I guess it's a good thing I'm not aspiring to be a graphic designer or some sort, yeah? Met up with Mai after work last week and had such a great time catching up and filling each other in with glory details of our mundane lives. No, that was only mine. She flies all the time, hardly ever boring, I'd say, especially with all those pilots.

Weekend was interesting, though. Aside from having to work, I did meet an interesting person. In fact, the story was so unlikely. Ah, but that's for another entry.

On a separate note, today was so crazy. The rain was overwhelmingly wild, I was drenched and I got in the office super late. An hour, to be exact. I scrolled in there as if nothing was wrong, well, you shouldn't create any attention to yourself in scenario like this! Today was busy though and the day felt like a breeze.

I have yet to finish my assignment, somehow I keep postponing it. The exam is a few days away, can you say 'hopeless'? I'm in a good mood today, though, hope to keep it up for the rest of the week! US trip is in two weeks time! Wooo!

Yo yo dude! I'm coming yo! Better get those films and guitar ready so we can wake all the neighbours up with our slightly-below-average-voices! We'll talk gibberish and pie each other in the face, I'll wear Boston Uni hoodies and you'll wear OCU's gym pants! Madness!

Have a friend's BBQ party this weekend, excited yo!

Lights

You are never really alone.

I like looking at night lights; there's something calming and eratic about it at the same time. I can't imagine living in a place where everything's dead past six o'clock.

I'm really looking forward to this trip. I love travelling, it's just I haven't been able to do much of it lately. I like the anticipation, the early morning drive to the airport, the smell of the boarding terminal.

Maybe it's because I was just from the airport last night.

It's funny how things go sometimes. I wanna just sit back and enjoy the ride.

I'm sorry I seem all over the place. What I need is a proper sleep.

I tried, I conquered, I'm leaving.

Now it's only a week and two days left 'til I'm done with my job contract. I've learned, I've braced through the worst, I've had fun, I've been stressed out, I've ran through every imaginable emotions possible. After almost two months planning and preparing for the event, it's finally happening, but not without its own last-minute-panic and changes.

In this case, there really is such thing as the Murphy's law. So much work in the planning side, and it's not over yet even on the day itself. This weekend I'm slaving away and finally seeing things come together. I'm not good with crisis management, but somehow I managed to get through it, well, almost. Today's the last day, good luck to me.

Update: With that, it's over! Well, I know I will still have to work on the report and all the bloody detailed feedback and time-consuming profit and calculation, blah blah, but at least a big chunk of pressure has been lifted off our shoulders! :) The countdown has officially begun, people!

Surprise

Was feeling spontaneous today.

So I ignored my conscience and went for the unlikely.

So it's Jung instead of dude now, huh? ;)

Not quite too good to be true

This is the guy who had a $100 dining voucher and didn't even sigh finding out that day was past its expiry date.

Who called the girl up to let her know he's going to get her whatever she wanted from Shenzhen.

Who made sure he treated her friends right, who insisted on holding her bag eventhough she hated it.

But there's just no way it could ever be anything.

No Promises

Maybe the problem isn't the people; it's the perception that things last forever, that whatever's lost can be found, that we live in this ideal world where there are only heroes and no villains.

I don't call myself an idealist, I know plans can go wrong, people can change, life goes on, and that's that. But there are instances I thought I understood, minds I thought I could make sense of. I thought, there are such things as obligations even though it's not written and there are no signatures needed.

I love 'Before Sunrise', there's this bit of conversation between Jesse and Celine when they had dinner in the boat.

Celine: Now let's just be rational adults about this. We, maybe we should try something different. I mean, it's not so bad if tonight's our only night, right? People exchange phone's number, addresses, they end up writing once, calling each other once or twice...

Jesse: Right. Fizzles out. Yeah, I mean, I don't want that. I hate that.

Celine: I hate that too, you know.

Jesse: Why do you think everybody thinks relationships are supposed to last forever?

Celine: Yeah, why. It's stupid.

Jesse: Well, alright. Let's do it. No delusions, no projections. We'll just make tonight great.

Celine: Okay, let's do that.

There's something really sad about the movie, especially if you see the second one. At least the first one's a lot more hopeful.

But it's realistic. What's today movies are telling us now? Say, Sex and The City? That friendship lasts forever? That you can have it all? I don't know why I mentioned that movie, really, just the first thing which popped into my mind. Well, you get the gist.

I don't know, sometimes there's absolutely nothing you can explain. It just...happens. And for once I have neither the energy nor the enthuasiasm to question it. But, you know what? I would like to keep believing that such thing is possible.

I am bitter in many ways, but quite a hopeless idealist in others.

I've learnt to appreciate things more, and it would be foolish to expect everyone to do the same. And yes, you don't owe me anything technically, so why would you bother, right? Why should you stay? Right.

It's easier to see people as passing characters, knowing that they might be here one day and gone the next. I can't think like that yet, though. I'm way too emotional, I have too much baggage.

So stupidly, I probably will continue to think that there's more to you. But either way, know that it's okay. Priority changes, I get it.

Hal.Lo.Ween!

I just realized that this will be my last two weeks of work before I have to start packing and fussing and getting all hyped up for the US trip! Not looking forward to graduating, to be honest, I'm a little bit scared. But that's that. These last two weeks will be busy, though, looking back I just need to feel that I've done my best, and that's what matters.

I found that early in this working environment, words of encouragement really shaped your mentality and confidence. Sometimes just a little 'great job' remark could cheer me up greatly. A few days ago my account director praised the assignment I did and I felt like walking on burning coals afterwards, so dorky I know. But yeah, it pays to have great boss.

Anyway, it's time to face the music after having such a wonderful weekend!

I kept reminding myself to start working on the article, but yesterday I just couldn't be arsed. I'm gonna do it today, promise.

Weekly MDD Night, Max Payne, Thai, IndoChine

Was feeling creative last night, so I made this little pic right here. Had a great fun with G last weekend in another movie/dinner/drinks non-date-equivalent. Previously I always forgot to bring my camera on a night out with him, so this time around I made good use of the bimbotic camera even though there wasn't much to shoot but ourselves.

Promised him I would treat him a round of drinks after my pay day, so I'm a woman of my word! The live band started to bore me out, though, not because I have a problem with accoustic performance, in fact I don't, it's just they sounded too rock-y for my taste and they spent too much time showing off their guitar/bass skills, that majority of the song 'Zombie' became just instrument rather than the singing.

But we sticked around until they cleared up all the tables and chairs and the only EPL showing on the TV was between the non-famous teams [way past the primetime].

A little update on today, I am officially a bum. Having had a long holiday 'til Tuesday, I am so not in the mood for working, I need time to re-adjust my spirit again to standard eastern time. This visa application thing needs more time than I thought, but hopefully everything will be settled soon, I just wanna get the hassle over and done with immediately.

Looking forward to weekend already!

Happy Birthday, dearest

I was on the train this evening when I realized the date.

Happy birthday. I love you.

BBQ Collages

Big Bum

I'm excited for the long holiday. Excited might not be the right word, I have tons to do and I'm not good with thinking like I have tons to do. I'm a short-attention-spanned planner, notice the irony?

This weekend is a great one, Monday is the Deepavali public holiday and my company is going away on Tuesday, making it a company holiday; I like this holiday word. I thought on Friday at work that I would do so much within this weekend to finish whatever stuffs I'm supposed to finish, like my Visa application, school assignment, work project, planning the US trip..4 days seemed excessive, glorious excessive! I feel like by Sunday, at least I would have done plenty.

News flash? Today is Sunday. And I feel like a big failure.

Literally too. I'm huge now.

Friday night we went for dinner and movie, but I managed to flip through some travel books so well, I've done something, see? This afternoon I woke up past mid day, and my left eye was blasting red, my body was aching, and I realized I slept almost 12 hours. There goes half of my day already. Nobody gets drunk after just some China Blue and beer, surely?

Right now is so not the time to think about assignment and work, and that's the worst part of it. Tomorrow and Tuesday I really need to get started. I'll drink ten galons of coffee if I have to, even if it kills me.

Rain

Today it rained like never before. It was so hard it created pool of water along the street after just a few minutes. I was shivering as I walked home, protected by umbrella but not from the cold. My shirt and pants were wet but I didn't care, the only thing I wanted was to be safely tucked inside my warm, comfy place.

Maybe it's the rain, maybe it was me pacing fast in the rain, maybe it was being soaked and drenched in cold, but it felt just like that time.

We were coming home, her from another round of radiation. The two of us were already in the apartment complex, but there was still quite a distance to walk to the tower. Suddenly it started to rain, it just rained like mad. It was the crazy kind of rain which each drop was like this bucketful of hard water.

We were definitely stucked, I didn't bring umbrella, and so we waited, but there wasn't any sign it was going to stop soon, and we started shivering just being there and doing nothing. The wind was blowing like nobody's business, I have never been in the rain that hard. So she said we should just run.

And run we did. As fast as our tiny little legs could allow us to run. I arrived in front of the lift first, naturally, and when I looked back, my heart gave a loud pang. She was running, her body was soaked wet, and she has never looked so small before.

Both of us were dripping water, we might as well have just plunged ourselves into the pool. "Go take a bath now, or you'll catch a cold," was the first thing she said.

How could she have been so strong, I wonder.

We're no girlscouts

Had so many pictures to upload! Been neglecting my Multiply site for a while here, I actually feel kinda bad.

I caught up with some great friends over the weekend, and for the first time, hosted a BBQ party at my apartment. Well, how did it go, you ask?

It could have been improved, like, the fire could have been stubborn enough to last; but it didn't. We tried everything to putting the whole grill-thing down and just setting the charcoal on fire, desperate attempt that was. The chicken wing didn't change even one shade of color despite being there for over an hour. Okay, that sounds bad.

Although, in the end we all had our fair share of food. Besides, most important thing is that we got to see each other and had fun. Who cares if we're all starving, right?

So, I will write more and post the pictures up soon, hopefully. Tomorrow I'm going to be very busy at work, so now all I can think of is my comfy bed. 'Nuff said.

Songs that remind me of...

In more cases than one, a song is not just a song. It has an attachment to it, an association. When you face a certain situation, sometimes a particular song will come to mind. Or the other way around; hearing a song when you’re in a certain situation will trigger that memory when you hear the same song again in the future.

Not too sound too cheesy or anything, I love it. I love the fact that with a simple tune you can trigger so much emotions. Okay, well, that might have come out a little too cheesy. Anyway, here are a few,...

Maroon 5 – Makes Me Wonder
I started listening to this song religiously when I was in Perth. I had this song stored up in my MP3 which obviously, is portable and thus, enabled me to listen to it wherever I like. When I was out there, there wasn’t much to do and I had a little too much time on my hands, so I experimented.

With a waxing cream, to be exact. Don’t ask, and before you have whatever ideas (I don’t want to know), it’s for my legs. Now every time I hear this song, I feel like I’m transferred back to that spacey bathroom in a huge house in Leeming, spreading up waxing cream to my legs and waiting for it to work its magic.

Westlife – Obvious
I was in my first year of high school, so that probably makes me…what, 15 or 16 years old. During the time of being obsessed with this song, I was close with a guy. That meaning, we talked everyday and went out often, but nothing was official yet. The lyrics probably reflected on how I was feeling at that period of time. It reminds me of him now everytime the song comes on air.

It reminds me of home, my room, and how I used to just lay there, listen to this song, and giggle on my own just because I was a hormonal adolescence.

Michael Buble – Home
Jes, Drew, wonder if you guys remember this. We were in Jes’ car, we were talking about how we were going to be away for college, each of us taking separate path. This song was on the radio, and we screamed and our eyes were teary. Well, okay, maybe not. But we did scream due to the irony of the song just when we were talking about going away and possibly being homesick.

Look at us now, though. I barely talk to you guys anymore, and if pictures on facebook were any indication, I’d say you two are having much fun over there in the States. ‘I’m lucky, I know, but I wanna go home…..' maybe isn’t as accurate as we initially thought.

Marvin Gaye – Sexual Healing
This one is a lot more recent, actually. I knew I must have heard this song anyway before, but only in this time was I starting to really like it. Again, this song simply reminds me of someone. He used to sing and dance along to this song through webcam. Okay, it sounds silly in words, but it was a good memory.

These things – memories – really are priceless. What’s better is that it’s truly personal.

Anyway, in a totally unrelated topic, Paul Krugman has recently won the Nobel Prize! Been following his blog on New York Times since I had to read his book for the previous politics class. I don’t know about the other candidates, but he surely deserves it.

"We all want power, we all want success, but the ultimate reward is the simple joy of understanding.” Well put. Congrats!

Home?

Something got me thinking.

One of my favorite blogger just moved to LA and he has been writing about hating every minute of it.

A friend of mine, too, just recently moved to the west coast and he admitted of missing Boston tremendously, thus coming up with a decision to be a celibate and focusing on his work for the time being.

Another friend is just so sick of being where he is right now, that he's just counting down the days 'til he can get the fuck outta there.

Even a random person whom I talked to recently said that despite enjoying his life here in Singapore, he still considered his earlier years back home to be one of his best times.

And I've been hearing too many songs about home I can make a list out of it.

It's funny, but I can never quite paint a picture of me living back home again.

I mean, it's still home, of course, and as people say, there's no place like home. I would always miss home as a place of my childhood, a symbol of simpler and younger years, and a place filled with memories. I'm always looking forward to every chance I can fly back and meet everyone. When you're back home, you're home. It's like, ceasing your worries and pausing life for a moment.

But, I can't see myself living back home again for pausing one's life can only go so far and worries will just catch up eventually. I love going home, but I know it's only for temporary.

I wonder why that is, and I wonder whether this resolution somehow makes me seem like a bad person.

Living here has been too comfortable, too convenient. I almost feel as if I'm spoilt. I can't imagine being some place where I'm unable to just go out and stroll along the street on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

“I think we all want either, home, or a place like home. Because we are raised in our home, we become like home, as home is like us.”

Yes, a place like home. What's home anyway? Somewhere where you feel most comfortable in? A place where all your loved ones are in? Your childhood playground? Where you were born? What about, somewhere you wanna be?

Can one person have many homes?

It used to be cows...

I will let you in a secret, when I was small I used to live with a cow. I had a cow in the house, of course it didn't sleep in the same bed as me because that would be sick, but I did have a cow, and I did milk it every other day. Not everyday, though, because even cows need time to uhm, stock it up. In this case, to produce the milk. Maybe it's a lazy cow, but it certainly didn't have enough stamina to be milked everyday, I remember that after a while, it would make a moaning noise as if to tell me that he's had enough, that he couldn't get it going any futher. I had a special bond with this cow, I felt like it spoke to me. You might find me crazy, but it's true.

It was such a long time ago, and the cow has long been dead. I feel like a piece of me died together with it too on that day. Just a piece, though. It's such a loyal cow, everytime I felt sad I would just go over to the farm and talked, it really listened. Sometimes it appeared like it nodded too. Maybe it's just my imagination, I can't be sure.

I found a picture of the old cow in my old computer, gosh, I haven't looked at it in such a long time. Look at that, isn't it a beauty? People should really go back to having cows as companions and pets. Cow makes a much better friend.

Yes, I was once a farm, little-house-on-the-prairie-kind-of-girl. I used to sing to the birds and wear suspenders over my clothes.

Note (added after a few ridiculous comments) -> If you hadn't realized, I did NOT ever own a cow! Goodness, I can't believe some people actually took this seriously! Hmph, maybe I have a talent of persuasion. Me? Little-house-on-the-prairie? Hello, have we met?

Another Eventful Week

What a week!!

Am so glad it's weekend, but I know it's going to be over way too soon! Been such a busy and hectic week with all its roller-coaster ride, I was happy, I was down, I was angry, I was giddy, I was shy, I was chirpy, I met new people, I was sick and I didn't care!

Last Friday I woke up with an aching burning throat that hurt everytime I swallow. Now this isn't such an unusual phenomenon, normally it would go away after I drink lots of water and take my meal. Yesterday I expected the same thing and went to work. All day I was sneezing and my nose was running unattractively like mad. One of my colleague was nice enough to look at me and say, "You don't look so well.." Oh gee, thanks! Of course yesterday had to be one of the busiest day and I had to do different things all at once and in the middle of those sneezing and those peeing (because I kept drinking water), the work wasn't getting much easier. I didn't even have time to have a relaxing lunch, instead I ran to the nearest restaurant, ate my food like my life depended on it, and rushed back to the office. Everything only took less than half an hour, and for someone who usually eats in a slo-mo, I consider that quite an achievement.

Against my better judgment, even after the lunch and the water, I wasn't feeling better. But taking a half day off wasn't an option and finally I got through it, thinking that I would just go home and bloody sleep. Maybe it was just all fatigue and all I needed was rest. But of course a friend had to IM me and ask if I felt like going out. Well, yes, I do, I thought. My sister was working OT last night and if I went home, I would just...be there on my own. Anyway he and I ended up catching a movie, taking a walk and drinking at a bar.

Of course I didn't drink beer, I was such a good girl I ordered hot coffee. Oh, heavenly.

But yesterday was one of the most fun night I've had recently. I still couldn't stop sneezing, it's amazing how my friend still had the gut to be within 5 feet away from me, but just for that reason, bless him.

The live music was great, and people were dancing salsa down on the floor, I felt so charged I wanted to join in but I knew zero salsa step and I just wasn't high enough. Ha! Oh, and everybody must watch Burn After Reading, that's what we saw last night and it was so hilarious! Everyone, and I mean, everyone, just performed so great in it! Seeing George Clooney and Brad Pitt in slightly different roles were so amazing and they're damn good. John Malkovich too, was perfect for that role. I couldn't stop laughing seeing Brad Pitt and his 'SHIT!', 'Osbourne Cocks' line! Well, it's actually COX, but hey, it's pronounced the same!

Anyway I feel like I'm in a set of those 'Serendipity' type film. The story was actually kinda funny, I met a guy in the elevator of my apartment a few days ago in the morning when I went out for work. He chatted me up and we ended up walking to the tube together and talking the entire journey, his office happened to be in just one train stop after mine. It may sound cheesy, but I enjoyed talking to the guy and he surprised me by having this perfect english accent. Well, you know how in movies people keep meeting by accident and shit? Come to think of it, I think I did meet this guy once before too, but it was a long time ago and we only exchanged a few words. So, to the man, nice talking to you dude!

So, to a less exciting news, I'm so utterly, completely broke right now. Like, really. I can't believe how much I have spent just going out and taking cabs, even just for daily transportation. You know, bus and shit. Food and drinks and shit. My god, I'm so staying home today, in fact, I'm going to just eat instant noodles for the entire weekend! Hmpfh!

Back to everything random

Fine, so the last post titled 'funny thing' wasn't funny-ha-ha-ha, but more like funny-huh, what, I should have been more specific, you mean? Well, funny doesn't always necessarily translate to Tom and Jerry, mind you. There is such thing as subtle-funny. Ehem.

Anyway. Why am I getting defensive? Gosh, today is tiring! This is actually the first time in dayssss that I go home directly after work, and man, isn't it nice. I could take a long hot shower, sit here typing with my laptop while waiting for my hair to dry, and the time still shows 10 pm. EH? 10 pm already? WTF.

Well, 10 pm is considered early seeing my previous sleeping pattern so far! I haven't been sleeping much lately, last night bunch of us went singing and I only got home at 1. Excuse moi, it may not seem like such a big deal, but I sleep a lot! I sleep like a hibernating bear. So to me, sleeping at 1 and waking up at 6 is simply unacceptable! I turn into a zombie by mid day and I start hallucinating salmon flying around in the air. Really not a pretty picture. Me, I mean, not the salmon.

Although the days before I didn't go home quite as late as 1 am, but I went out a lot after work and I just got so tired after getting home and I couldn't really do much besides sleeping. I still wanted to knit, but by the time I arrived home, all I wanna do is just lay my head on this heavenly pillow and drool.

Okay la, the 'knitting' reference is just a metaphor. It could easily be...browsing the internet, cutting my nails, washing my hair, or anything, geez.

Today is a bit more tiring than usual because I've been running errands for work all afternoon. Would be great if the weather was coorperative. You know, just raining when I was inside the building so by the time I went out, the air was crisp and it smelt like rain which I totally love!

But unfortunately, we had quite a fight there, me and the weather, and so I decided to break up with it. It was scorching hot when I had to do lots of walking around but at 3 when I got back to the office, it started raining! What a girl to do?

Not like I'm known for my luck. Rephrase. I should have said:

OF COURSE It was scorching hot when I had to do lots of walking around, and OF COURSE that by the time I got back to the office, it started raining.

Goddamn luck.

Okay, this works for these things too.

Of course I had to fall down on the street like an idiot a few days ago.
Of course a man had to physically pick me up because I was squatting and I couldn't get up.
Of course today I slipped when I walked in front of a group of business men.
Of course my sister had to do OT when we thought we would go karaoke in town after work.

I can make a really long list out of this, actually.

Why me????? WHY ME?!!!

Self-centered much?


Gluttonous dinner recently at Makan Sutra.

Well, I'm gonna scoot scoot to bed soon. Here's to many more relaxed nights like this! ;)

Funny Thing

My relationship with my big man has been evolving, even now as we speak. One thing I can say is that it hasn't always been easy. My dad is one particular man, although not known for his patience or his negotiating skills because he's almost certain he's always right just as much as I've been trying to convince him that I'm not always wrong, there are a whole lot to admire from him.

For one, he does have the track record of keeping me alive, so he surely knows what he's doing. He's a protective father, the kind who would always think of his daughters as 15 year-old-kids who can't tell black from white, even though the daughters are now already in their twenties. Maybe by the time we're 40 and married, only then will he start treating us like adults.

Of course, his intention is noble, he wants to shelter us from the axes of evil as much as humanly possible. One way he ensures that we grow up to be nice and healthy kids is by subjecting us to such things as curvews and conducting thorough investigation of our male companions we brought home during school days.

So this is the same man, the same man who wouldn't even let me go to fetch a guy friend of mine from the airport, the same man who wouldn't let me be in the same hotel room with a guy friend for one second, who suddenly leaped happily of the idea of me going travelling overseas with a guy friend.

Huh?

I feel like he's been planning a wedding behind my back. It was so funny when I proposed the idea and he replied saying, "that's great! But Hong Kong? Not much going on there, why don't you ask him to bring you to Thailand or Vietnam?"

I needed to blink and see the screen once again to make sure I wasn't imagining things. Should I change the prescription of my glasses already?

As for now, I'm just excited. I meant to write excited, but I accidentally typed sexited. Ha! Ehem. Well. Honest mistake.

'S All Good

I love the bustling of telephone being put down on its socket.
I love the sound of keyboards tapping throughout the day.
I love the soft radio sound which accompanies me as I'm thinking and typing, no matter how hectic and quiet it gets.
I love the fact that I could see the sky everytime I look ahead.
I love clicking on 'sending and receiving' button on my work email just for the kick of it.

Everything's good right now, I'm enjoying it.

Still Here!

Feels like it has been ages since I wrote here last. Things have been moving along in a bullet speed! Work, for one, occupies most of my time and some friends from Indo are here so it's been such a fun packed days spent with them and as a result, I go home too late, sleep too little, spend too much money and all that it entitles; go figure.

I'm still waiting for the time I would start feeling guilty about it. Any moment now. Any second I'm sure.

Not that I'm complaining! It's always fun to meet hometown friends, rekindle with the old one and make new ones. These things can surprise you. It's funny how some of your old ones can dissapoint you while the people you hardly know can cheer you up tremendously. I guess that comes with the territory. The better you know someone, the more you know of their flaws as well. But, that's for another story.

I've been enjoying work so far, and although I do ocassionally still whine especially when I almost fall asleep in the office, it beats staying home all day and wandering around randomly. This week feels somewhat easy too due to the public holiday on Wednesday! I wish we could have more holidays, we only have one day off for the Hari Raya while our friends back home have ten! But well, I guess, Singapore is not one of the biggest Muslim country in the world...

The rest of the weeks in October seems long and evil from the looks of it!

Was talking to my dad earlier and he mentioned he might wanna go to Thailand for christmas holiday and I was like, 'why!!!' Okay la, to be fair I would be over in States and it's no comparison which one I would rather go to, but it's been ages since we had family vacation and the only time we finally will get the chance to do it, is when I won't be around! Seems like a cruel coincidence to me, but of course.

Today is the only time I can really relax and just browse the net like I normally do during my piggy days. It's good to stay at home occasionally. Yesterday I had the most wonderful time experiencing the Singapore Flyer!

I was so excited the entire day, we agreed that we would go at night so we hung out from the afternoon in anticipation.

More pics coming up in my Multiply later on!

Speaking of Multiply, that site has been rather abandoned as well [just like this one..], I feel so out of touch with the blogs I usually follow, the videos on youtube I normally always check out, and new songs on the chart!

At work I can listen to Class 95fm, though, and I can say in pride that Daniel Powter is their 'artist of the month' or sort! His song keeps being played over and over again, I love it! He actually wrote that song for his daughter, of course if you see the video clip, you would know!

Gosh, I seriously feel like I've lost my ability to write! I can't believe I'm running out of things to say! It might have something to do with the rain, yeah yeah. Sounds like an excuse to me.

So, hope you all have a good weekend as well! Once I charge my brain, I'll write more stuffs.

F1 Buzz!

I'm definitely not the sporty type, sweat terrifies me and the word 'hiking' makes me wanna faint, and in theory I couldn't care less about the F1.

But the buzz is catching up to me. It's seeing the posters everyday, and the race cars model at shopping malls, not to mention the track itself which has been designed so wonderfully throughout the city area, you would be blind not to get excited over it.

Kimi Raikkonen was at Paragon yesterday, I saw his interview on TV and I was like, 'I WAS at Orchard this evening!' Lewis Hamilton's photos arriving at Changi Airport while being surrounded by photographers,..it makes the whole thing even more exciting because of the proximity.

This afternoon a friend and I, him being a total F1 fanatic, walked around Raffles and Suntec, strolling along the heated track, so close despite it being sealed. People working for the event were pacing back and forth, scattered around the arena. There's a certain pride having this major event here when everyone from around the world is coming in to the city to celebrate something together. It truly is. And I'm not even Singaporean.

Now luckily enough, I will be able to catch a glimpse of F1, and I'm damn excited about it!

I'm sure everyone's attention will be focused on one thing this weekend! Mondofabulous! A friend is flying in to town for the event and on top of everything, it'll be just great to see him.

This week has been passing like a breeze, I'm afraid I would miss it if I just blink! And I'm actually enjoying my work so far! Things are definitely looking up.

First week of work

I know work just got started, and there hasn't been much that I can say about it, but that never stopped me from having opinions.

When I wrote a short piece of article which was featured in a local newspaper a while back, the only thing my then-boyfriend said to me wasn't 'congratulations, honey' but 'you have opinions.' Although from whichever angle, the first was even more unlikely since the hell would freeze over before we got to call each other 'honey'.

But, the point is, yes, I do have opinions if nothing else, no matter how undeserving I am to say those things yet.

So a little bit about the job, the company is definitely bigger than my previous, in scale and in operation. There are different departments: media, PR, copywriting, marketing and advertising and so on so forth. I'm assigned to the lattest and accentuated more on the event management part.

During my first day I was introduced to everyone but since so far I could only work in the morning, it hasn't exactly helped me with the whole bonding part. By 1 I have to leave to make it on time for my class over at town, but good thing the office is located not too far from there.

I love the fact that my desk is facing out. I'm not directly by the window but I can see the view from where I sit and it's truly great.

Newsflash! Random fun fact! My computer desktop is a picture of naked Bart Simpson diving in the sea! How....um..corporate.

I don't mind the working part, but waking up in the morning can really be such a shit. I guess there are people who are used to do that, but I'm definitely not one of them. If work starts in the afternoon and ends later at night, I wonder if I would last in a job a lot longer. Maybe. Really, one sucky thing about working is the waking up part.

So what gives? Sleeping time, for one. Weekends feel shorter, somehow, which makes 'em even more precious.

But I'm glad to start this, I've been restless for quite some time, and knowing that getting a job isn't as easy as anyone makes up to be, you tend to appreciate it more.

Guilty Pleasure

I seem to do stupid things when I'm drunk.

The embarrassing anecdote about me pulling down my pants in unisex bathroom have been passed down like babies in China. [A little Juno reference here]

If that's not stupid, I don't know what is.

But stupidity isn't all blatant and transparent like that. Sometimes it's more subtle, humiliating only to you. Behind closed doors, nobody knows it but yourself.

Last night was another instance. It's just one of those things.

Damn, wasn't it fun.

Happy news!

I'm happy! Happy happy happy happy!!!!

Or maybe I shouldn't jinx it too early! Ah sod it! A new chapter, people! Chapter 1: A New Beginning! Sounds like The Moffats' album title, geez, I'm such a dork Although! The title's appropriate!

So I just wanna write a quick hi and post to let you know I'm in a good place right now, and I intend to stay that way! I hope this one will stick long enough 'cos this is just the perfect time!

Hope you all have a good day, and I'll write more soon! I'm off to class now!
Ciao!

xx

That Day

I feel like I have to do something, today. I'm sorry for not having enough faith anymore, but that doesn't make me a bad person.

These past year has been the hardest time, and I've missed you tremendously. Sometimes I'm angry of myself for not missing you more, but I don't know how much is less, how much is enough as if that's an indication of how much you mean to me. It's the only way I know how, and the feeling's left me helpless.

Eventhough I'm not sure I believe in all that anymore, I'm absolutely certain that you are in a good place, just because you are you, and you deserve it. You have to, otherwise we are all just doomed.

I'm not sure if it's true what they say, that everything happens for a reason, or whether it's just something someone came up with to make him feel better. Would it make me a bad person for saying that it's bullshit?

I know it's symbolic, it's no different than any other day because I've missed her from time to time, and not just today.

We were in a completely different place last year. Looking back, I can't believe I'm here now, doing my thing.

Everything and nothing changed.

Cab

Sometimes we need a complete stranger to remind us that the rules haven't changed much at all.

I was in a cab along with two friends after a night out. We were just talking, the air was full of booze and we were slightly giddy. I was dropped off the last, and as soon as I was alone with the taxi driver, he told me not to 'trust men'.

Taken aback, I couldn't help but chuckle, "but uncle, you are a man."

"I know, I know, but it's true..." he said.

Even when a girlfriend of mine has given me the warning eye signal when she left me alone with the boy.

I wonder if he was referring to my friend in the cab earlier, but I didn't ask. Besides, I knew the line and I wasn't going to cross it. I'm so not gonna be involved in domestic affairs.

That's something I have learnt along the way, uncle, to be honest. But not trusting, I still catch myself once in a while, for I have always been too gullible in the past.

And apparently that was too obvious, even to a complete stranger. When he was about to drop me off, he turned around, his face was fatherly and old. "You're really sweet," he said, "please remember my advice. Don't trust men."

See, he needed to warn me twice, yo'all.

This week has been..

So, I've been having much fun lately, a lot is goin' on at the moment. With the mooncake festival, the ramadhan, the upcoming F1, it's exciting to be in the city right now. Although I'm not too big on mooncake to begin with, my flatmate has been bringing home various mooncakes selection which I could freely nibble around; after her saying, "please help yourself", of course. All hell broke loose afterwards, she should have been more specific, "take only one or two" for example.

But yeah, I've checked out the lantern festival, and this weekend there's gonna be sort of a mooncake party down in my apartment. We'll come, see what's goin' on, mingle around, I think it's gonna be fun.

And it's fasting time too, if it weren't for Mr. F I doubt I would even realize, that's how ignorant I am. But now, I learn to be more sensitive, just like when we went out to watch movie the other day, I made sure I sat a few chairs away from him so he wouldn't hear me munching potato chips. And I didn't even offer, do you know how hard that was? I'm so used to sharing my food that it took a great deal of self-conscience to refrain me from doing that while he was fasting.

So we ate afterwards with the rest of the starving Muslim population at 7ish over in Arab Street. Loads of Indonesian and Turkish food down there. It's a good change of scenery, and a lot more relaxing as well. We could just sit there, have shisha, eat, chill and have a good time, there are loads of stalls along the street, we call it 'pasar malam', night market, literally. Mostly they sell food and muslim clothings, but sometimes you get to see unique things like colorful lamps and carpets. Hello, can you say Aladdin? Ali Baba?

Aside from the fun stuff, I'll be having my last class here in Singapore this Friday, and gosh, that hits me hard in the head. After this all, I'm done. Well, there's still the US trip to look forward to, but I'm sure that will just go like a breeze. A fucking year goes like a breeze, what's a month? It'll just be faster than you saying 'cheese'. I just wanna enjoy the rest of the year, seriously.


Well, my camera couldn't really capture the scenery with enough justice, but I just love the color's reflection on the water...

We ventured out to the waterfront at Kallang, the restaurants are by the river, soothing and romantic...Just by being near to the water is so relaxing, nothing beats that after a long tiring day running for interview...(and movies)

Had a really good time although the restaurant he wanted to bring me to apparently has closed down. What are the odds, huh?

Speaking of interview, though, at this point I'm just done with it. "I've stopped working for a few months now, and now I'm just so eager to start again and really make use of my time," I said to my latest interviewer, as if that would make a difference. But really, I know I said I've been looking for jobs for sometime now, but to be honest I wasn't that much serious. I kept postponing and postponing, telling myself that I would have exam soon so I should prepare first blah blah, such bullshit. I'm just highly unmotivated and lazy, gosh, bless me. But really, it's like I'm watching myself wasting time, and it seems like the harder it gets, the more you want it. The truth is, I've survived the worst possible scenario, what other worse forms of humiliation could take place in a conference room?

So just keep your fingers [and toes] crossed!

But all in all, this week has been great, made some new friends and caught up with old ones. Ladies night yesterday was the most fun I've had in weeks, probably. Hope you all enjoy your week so far as well...I'm rambling rubbish in this entry here, I just realized, ah sod it. So, goodbye for now! :)

p.s: by the way, for you who gives a rat's ass, well, translates to, those who have nothing better to do on rainy days or something, check out video of me and sis singing another song (in Lion King, I would have sung 'be prepared' now just because the title's appropriate..) here and a movie when cous decided to showcase his cooking ability. It's a new concept in our usually-unused kitchen...

So random

There was the time when everybody used friendster, and now it seems like the trend has shifted over to facebook. But see, the difference is, at first I thought facebook's a more exclusive social network, people don't usually just add random others as they did over at friendster previously. I have like, way over 500 contacts over my friendster, and I bet quite a lot number of 'em are those I don't even know.

And don't you agree that it's totally ridiculous to have more than one account in the same site? They have account ONE FULL, and then account TWO FULL, and some even have three jut because their contacts have reached the maximum limit, I mean, seriously, noone needs that many accounts! They're tad unnecessary. How very socialites these people are, really? Seems like they're even more popular than Lauren Conrad herself.

If you really have that many friends, then tell me I'm a smart-ass b**** and I'll gladly shut up. Because I mean, if your contacts are full, then you just gotta make another, right? Sure. What I find irritating, are the people who add others randomly. It's not a big deal if you think about it, but I don't know, I just don't get it, it's getting on my nerves after a while.

Now it's one thing if you see someone and you want to know that person and be friends, well, then send a message or something, follow the proper introductory guidelines. If you have to shake hands when you meet someone new, at least you gotta do the same thing, or along that line since physical connection is not yet applicable in the friendster-facebook world. But shouldn't that be a common sense?

I got friend requests from all kinds of people whose names I can't even pronounce, let alone lay eyes on. I had the impression that it's more close-knitted network right here on facebook, so I'm quite annoyed to find out that it's really not much different afterall.

Maybe I shouldn't take it so negatively, afterall if random people want to be friends with you, then what's the harm, right? Well? Maybe. I don't know. You tell me.

Another random person added me as friend on facebook a few days ago, and upon courtesy, I was the one sending a message and asking him whether I knew him, otherwise I wouldn't accept his request. I thought there's a possibility that he might be an old friend from elementary school or something, so I asked. See? I am good-mannered. He replied a while after, saying:

'Hello..not really, just see you in [one of my friend's] photos so I add you, hope you don't mind.'

Just because we happen to know the same person doesn't instantly make us friends!(EXCLAMATION POINT!) Or, at least you could tell me that before! (EXCLAMATION POINT!) Feeling my blood rise up yet again, I ignored him. But well, at the very least we still have something in common, but some are totally random. These are the worst. Someone from Turkey just sent me a friend request. What the f***?

In friendster previously I didn't give too much of a damn, I had that over 500 contacts by accepting requests from random people, just because I wanted to make everything easier. But I just need to rant here because it happens too many times.

I hate being a whiner, though, but what to do? I am one. And I know you all get this all the time too, so tell me, surely it bothers you too sometimes? Seriously, next time a random person added me as a friend without much of a greeting (at least!), I'm so gonna blow up and proceed with sending that person a message and calling him names. Ggr, I'm feeling fierce!

Singing 'Paperweight'

We've always loved singing (bathroom is my stage and my sister is my biggest fan), and I guess I just wanna share it with you all today. I hope you have had your lunch or dinner already though, cos I wouldn't be responsible for any digestive problems upon seeing this, okay.

I actually didn't know this song before this evening, so ha! Put 'a fast learner' down on my resume! We had a bit of rough time adjusting our voices 'cos if we sang it on the normal key it would be too low on sis' part, so we finally did it three notes higher. And we recorded the simple background music beforehand so we didn't have to play and sing at the same time. We sisters are not really known for our multi-tasking skills, afterall.