Sunday, 9 September 2007

A Word, At Last

Just a simple post to let you know that I'm hanging in here. Barely, yes. And I'm sorry too for the complete absence, not just through the blog but also in general. I haven't exactly contacted anyone home that I'm here, and it's not because I don't wanna see some old friends, but..I don't know, I don't feel like it. You may call it an anti-social thing to do. Who knew the word 'antisocial' and 'me' would be in the same sentence, huh? My friends would probably bite my head off when they knew I'm here without letting them know, but well, I will have to deal with that later on. Maybe I will tell some, just not yet. Oh, actually, I told one. A really good friend of mine. He has been the one texting me everyday just asking how things are. Of course I didn't just contact him, I had to make him swear that he wouldn't tell anyone else. His house is just a couple of blocks away from mine, so if he tells a soul, it would be easy to hunt him down. Ha! And you may think it's funny that I write about that here when there's a high possibility someone I know read this and spread rumour across the neighbourhod that I'm 'trying to hide my whole existence behind a whatever', and they will still bite my head off anyway, but like I said, maybe I will start behaving like a normal social human being again.

And the lack of post is not only due on the fact that things are very hectic around here and posting a blog entry is not exactly high on my priority list at the moment, but also, you should blame the internet. Just being here makes me feel like I have been taking my wireless internet back home for granted. (home here means in Singapore, is it possible to feel homesick when you're practically home?) This is the first time I got the chance to log in and check my mails.

So all in all, I'm just very occupied, and I wish I could smile about it but there's nothing to be smile about, really. It's depressing and tiring and exhausting and draining. I'm sorry, I won't start spilling my heart out here because I don't really have the time, but I miss you guys. How are you? Everyone in general? Let me know that the world is still moving wherever you are? Because seriously, I feel like I'm doing nothing. Like the time has stopped and all I do is wait. Wait for what? I'm not sure. Mail, post comment, whatever? Give me some consolation?

Would be glad to hear from anyone who read this.

And like I said, I'm still hanging on here. I guess if there's one good thing about all of this, is at least I'm not going through with this alone. I have a whole big family, and I get to see everyone: aunts, uncles, cousins, family's friends and even some people who are supposedly related to me but I've never known of until this second, and well, it makes things seem a bit better, somehow.

I have to run, but I will try to write when I get the chance. I'm not exactly sleeping at home anymore, let me tell you this and I have never been any surer in my life that I'm so freaking sick of hospital now.