Tuesday, 25 November 2014

Shots of Awe.

To be an adult is to figure out the parameters that allow you to be a kid again.

Monday, 24 November 2014


If you ever wake up, and think that no one needs you, I need you. 

If you ever wake up, and think that there's no love, I will always love you. 

If you ever wake up, and can't find your purpose, I will hold a candle and help you find it. 

If you ever wake up, and don't know who or why you are, I can tell you. 

If you ever wake up, and don't know why you bothered, I will remind you. Please remember me, and let me give you reasons.

The Tension Between Who You Are

You want to be so many things. I always thought you would settle down one day and be ok with just being who you are. And what kind of monster would I be, to ask you to want to be less? Maybe wanting to be so many things, is just who you are.

How little they think of you.

I’m reminded once again on why Before Sunrise franchise is one of my all-time beloved movies. The characters are as real as you and me, and importantly the dialogues really touch me in a way that very few movies can.

When a movie speaks to you on such a personal level, it’s really quite something else. Especially for a hopeless romantic like me who loves words and finds meaning in every little detail. There are so many quotes from the movie that I love so much, but in this instance I would like to share one quote that resonates well with me.

“You know what’s the worst thing about somebody breaking up with you? It’s when you remember how little you thought about the people you broke up with and you realize that is how little they’re thinking of you. You know, you’d like to think you’re both in all this pain but they’re just like “Hey, I’m glad you’re gone.” 

I think it doesn’t just apply to romantic relationship, but also to friendship. You would think that when two people fall apart, we both would suffer the loss equally. But no, that’s not the case.

Sometimes I value my friendship too much, or I put too much expectation to it, I’ll just end up getting disappointed because it turns out that the other person just doesn’t give a fuck.

But then when everything is said and done, and you’re left with the loss of friend.. and you find yourself missing them, and think to yourself that they must miss this friendship too.. well, guess what, they probably don’t.

It’s just like that dialogue from the movie. That’s how little they think of you. And it hurts, it does. But reality hurts, and I’d rather deal with reality, no matter how sucky, than live in daydream illusion that the other person cares.

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Growing away

When I look at you, I can see the person you used to be drowning in the person you are. And it makes me nostalgic and sad because I know when you look at me, you must see the same thing.

Tuesday, 11 November 2014

How I took part (and finished) my very first marathon.. (ever)

Last Sunday, I took part in my very first marathon!

"Whaaaaat?" I can hear all of you screaming in disbelief.

"But.... it can't be! You are the laziest, most unfit person I know!" Yes, I can still hear that!

Honestly (and shamelessly), it's true. What do you expect from a girl whose favourite past-time is sleep, and favourite day is Sunday just because she can sleep some more?

But hey, this year is all about change, right?

And I'm at that point where I feel that things are going well for me. Having a change of job this year is a huge positive step, and I'm truly happier, more aggressive than ever to do things that are normally out of my comfort zone.

So when I came across Great Eastern Marathon and one of my colleagues persuaded me to take part, I was like "Oh yes baby! This is for the new and improved Tina!" and before I knew it, I've signed up for 10km.

I thought I would have trained for it, but I didn't. Oh wait, I did, once. I ran and walked mostly for about 6km, and the second training never happened because oh well, life happened.

*Dramatic pause*

Next thing I knew, I was sent to Jakarta for over a month, and the race was nearing, in fact it was just a week away when I finally remembered that I haven't been exercising at all!

But it was too late to back out and besides, in my mind I was like, "How bad can it be?" So being an overconfident person (overcompensating for the fact that I really am not fit at all), I went to the race with 0 training. It was the first time I put on my running shoes after probably 2 months. Ha!

Before the race, having serious "Wtf, what am I thinking?" moment.

But hey, the fact that I'm writing this, 2 days after the race, means that I am still alive! Yay! And I completed the race with flying colors! (I'm also the teacher who passes the flying color mark) And although now my whole body is sore, and I'm walking with a limp, I feel really happy and proud that I did it! I would never think that I would be able to run 10km in my current state.

Mind over matter, baby.

The race was a fun experience. There were tens of thousands of people participating, and it's indeed encouraging to have so many people running around you; you can't be the only one slacking, can you?

Tina, time to hide your true color. Act like you're so into running!  

But seriously, there were times I had to stop running and did a slow-jog or brisk-walk instead, but overall I think I did okay and I enjoyed it! It was fun coming to different checkpoints, each km brought a wide grin over to our faces, and really, when you were in the moment, you couldn't even have thought of quitting. The energy was awesome!

And look, before I knew it, I completed it! (Not really, actually I knew it very, very clear) 

So that's the story of how I managed to do my very first marathon. I even have the medal to prove it! :)

Hey, if a lazy Tina can run for 10km, millions of life's possibilities are now within reach!

Kids! Go out there and explore! Be a scientist! Go to space! Learn dothraki! Anything's possible!


In recent years, I have learnt to appreciate genuine friends as they truly are. When we were younger, having a lot of friends was everything, don't you remember at how we used to measure one's popularity by seeing how many friends they have on Facebook? How vain can we be?

I come to treasure a few gems in my life who are not just convenient friends, or accidental friends, or even fake and superficial ones; but real, sincere and caring friends whom I know I can always turn to in times of need.

They may not be someone whom you meet every day or even every other week. But I think that's how you really know.

So let's cheer to our real friends whom are unaffected by life's circumstances.