Sunday, 27 October 2013

Soulmate or Life Partner?

Soul Mates. Soul Reminders. Soul Connections. We hear about it, read about it and some of us are lucky enough to experience it. We are all curious and most of us want one.

“Your soul mate makes you feel entirely intact, like no piece is missing from the puzzle. A life partner, on the other hand, can be a great supporter and long-time companion, but is limited in his or her capacity to enrich your spirit.” ~ Dr. Carmen Harra

Soul mates differ from life partners. Some people, not ever encountering a soul mate or soul connection, settle down with a life partner. These relationships can be very satisfying. They are often built on mutual trust, respect and friendship.

You see, in life, we have no control over timing and sometimes less control of circumstance. Some cannot wait forever in hopes of encountering a soul mate, so they are satisfied with a mature life-partner relationship. For some it is about survival, security or simple companionship, and the word soul mate does not resonate. The concept may seem flighty, dreamy and unrealistic. Life circumstance, timing, availability, security and many other factors may all influence our relationship choices…


Chances are if you are open, ready and blessed enough to meet a Soul Mate in this life time it will happen unanticipated and unexpected. It can feel unsettling, destabilizing and ungrounding because it is a different connection than any other you have had.

There are no words or explanations that can clearly articulate such a connection. It is a magnetic energy, an intuitive knowing and it just seems right. There is no matter of space or time, you have found your way to one another.

Actually, timing and way are quite often terrible. But when it arrives, you know. There is the “I get you feeling.” There is a flow and a rhythm that seems to be guided by something much higher. You step back to catch your breath because deep down you know this is special. This is different. This is genuine.

It is raw and it is so damn real you want to run away just to soak it up and take it in. The soul mate. The one you feel vibrate when they are a thousand miles away. The one you hear whisper when they think about you. The one who lets you move freely but embraces your shadow from afar. That one. The one you feel like you have known for a million years. 

When you finally settle into the WOW, you see the beauty, the rarity, and eventually the clarity. You know it is real, a keeper. Sometimes as a friend, other times a lover. Sometimes transient, other times permanent.

These beautiful soul reminders may too, just pop into our lives temporarily to remind us of what we have been forgetting; our writing, singing, creating, imagining, dancing or living. They light the spark. They get the fire going. They are the gentle nudge. Sometimes they stay, and other times move on. But they usually leave you appreciative and often breathless. They remind us to be alive, vibrant and hopeful.

“Have you ever met someone for the first time, but in your heart you feel as if you have met them before?”~ Joanne Kenrick, When a Mullo Loves a Woman

“We were not making love, we did not even kiss, but the inexplicable intimacy we shared left us wordlessly and hopelessly locked into each other’s gaze.” ~ Jasmine Dubroff 

“Soulmates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are perfect for you.” ~ Author Unknown

There is a catch to encountering these deep connections. Before you can go to this depth and even be brave enough to notice it, you first must love yourself. Because when you have love times a million for yourself, it comes naturally and effortlessly, transforming through you and transfixing to another who too loves themselves and are ready and open for depth.

Intimacy requires an open-heart. Looking, searching, praying, visualizing and meditating does not bring a soul mate. I do not believe they can be summoned. No one can be your other half or fill your cup but you. Sure, a soul mate can remind, inspire and certainly enhance your life but no one can be your happiness — but YOU. Although, one can be prepared.

Do your work. Love and nourish yourself. Fill your own soul and fuel your own fire. And then when, and if, they do come along, you are ready to sizzle.

“Don’t worry about finding your soul mate. Find yourself.” ~ Jason Evert

Feeling curious? Read on and without over-analyzing, ask yourself — soul mate or life partner?

The 10 Elements of a Soul Mate

1. It’s something inside. Describing how a soul mate makes you feel is difficult. It’s a tenacious, profound and lingering emotion which no words can encompass.

2. Flashbacks. If your partner is your soul mate, chances are he or she has been present in your past lives. You might even feel an odd sense of déjà vu, as if the moment in time has already taken place, perhaps a long time ago, perhaps in a different setting.

3. You just get each other. Ever met two people who finish each others sentences? Some people call that spending too much time together, but I call it a soul mate connection. You might experience this with your best friend or your mother, but it is the telltale sign of a soul mate when you experience it with your partner.

4. You fall in love with his (or her) flaws. No relationship is perfect, and even soul mate relationships will experience ups and downs. Still, that bond will be much harder to break. Soul mates have an easier time of accepting, even learning to love, each others imperfections.

5. It’s intense. A soul mate relationship may be more intense than normal relationships, in both good and sometimes bad ways. The most important thing is that, even during negative episodes, you’re focused on resolving the problem and can see beyond the bad moment.

6. You two against the world. Soul mates often see their relationship as “us against the world.” They feel so linked together that they’re ready and willing to take on any feat of life, so long as they have their soul mate by their side.

7. You’re mentally inseparable. Soul mates often have a mental connection similar to twins. They might pick up the phone to call each other at the exact same time. Though life may keep you apart at times, your minds will always be in tune if you are soul mates.

8. You feel secure and protected. Regardless of the gender of your partner, he or she should always make you feel secure and protected. Your soul mate will make you feel like you have a guardian angel by your side. A person who plays on your insecurities, whether consciously or subconsciously, is not your soul mate.

9. You can’t imagine your life without him (or her). A soul mate is not someone you can walk away from that easily. It is someone you can’t imagine being without, a person you believe is worth sticking with and fighting for.

10. You look each other in the eye. Soul mates have a tendency to look into each others eyes when speaking more often than ordinary couples. It comes naturally from the deep-seated connection between them. Looking a person in the eye when speaking denotes a high level of comfort and confidence.

Saturday, 26 October 2013


Hey you,

I'm sorry if I've hurt your feelings. Maybe I could've dealt with this better, but I'm confused. I'm so, very confused. We always talk about honesty, and I expect that from you just as I've always been true to you.

Sometimes I wonder if this is all just a game to you, and if this is, I'm sorry, but I don't want to play. I think I'm not up for games.

There are moments in our friendship that I can look at you, and finally catch a glimpse of the real you. Not the you that everyone else says. Not the you that you portray to everyone else. Somehow I see a different side of you, a more serious and contemplative you. The you that I can relate to, talk to, rely on. These are the times that I think to myself, yeah, I can find myself trusting you and being your friend.

Isn't it very simple? Friendship doesn't have to be complicated.

And yet, something seems to be holding me back. Despite the sincere moments that we have shared together, I'm still very wary. I'm wary because I'm scared to be hurt, again. I'm wary because I've been down this road before, and.. you know me, don't you? I'm not very good in handling broken promises, betrayal, backstabbing, and all these games that people play. I'm too easily affected.

Trust is earned, not given so easily. So I'm asking you to be patient with me. I want to get there, I promise you. But how can I, when your action speaks otherwise sometimes? It's like, we're going one step forward today, but two steps backwards tomorrow. In the end, what are we doing?

I'm still drawing a blank. And when it comes to you, it's still just a question mark.

And I'm tired of guessing.. I'm tired of scrambling around to find the answer.

Those moments..

"They told me that to make her fall in love, I had to make her laugh. But everytime she laughs, I'm the one who falls in love." 

Saturday, 19 October 2013

Hong Kong and Them Jellyfish!

Last weekend Dearie and I packed our bags and went on our first holiday again since... Bali. (Okay, that wasn't so long ago, I was hoping I could make a more dramatic story by saying that it was our first trip since UK last year and how we really needed this break..) But! For a traveller like me, even half a year without going away seems a like a really long time. (Now I know why I'm constantly broke.)

When we were in Hong Kong the last time, we made a promise to go back and finally we got to fulfil it!

Us in Hong Kong 2 years ago. Time flies!

I won't elaborate much on the trip since it mainly consisted of Dearie hunting for toys and me pretending to be interested, and me hunting for bags and dresses and Dearie pretending to be interested, and us hunting for heavenly Char Siew Pao at Tim Ho Wan (this time we both were really interested), and late-night cravings for KFC chicken.

Honestly I didn't take that many photos in this trip mainly though, because, well, I didn't bring my digital camera, and Dearie isn't exactly Mr. Camera-Ready as proven by these few snapshots...

I might as well just stop trying, right?

I ended up taking selfies a lot (which is annoying since I can do that anytime and anywhere.)

I did, however, take some good pictures of jellyfish when we were at Ocean Park and I have always been fascinated by jellyfish. They are so pretty but dangerous too! Much like humans - who can seem good and nice on the outside, but bleak and poisonous inside. Looks indeed can be very deceiving.

Feast your eyes, fellow jellyfish geek!

I think Dearie had to drag me out of the exhibition because I spent too much time staring at these jellyfish. 

Sorry I haven't been writing much, guys. Life has been kinda crazy, but if you have time do check out my other blog that I share with my sisters over at ! My sister is an amazing writer and the blog will basically be more on lifestyle and photography stuffs - fashion, beauty, travel, and everything fun and colourful!

See you on the next post!

What is love?

A friend asked me recently. "What is love, to you?"

Lately I've been having a personal struggle with this. I've seen couples around me break-up, lie to each other, cheat, and it's very demotivating to me to know that love once shared can easily be broken.

If your love to someone destroys you, violate you, takes your freedom away from you, is it still love? Or is it just a desperate attempt to hang on to the idea of love that is no longer there? 

At the end of the day, we all can say love easily. Sometimes I wonder if it still has its meaning when everyone can say it loosely just for the sake of saying it. 

But there is no love without trust, kindness, patience, hope. And despite that love itself is a feeling, the rest of those things - trust, kindness, patience, have to be done actively and by choice. It's more than just a feeling, it's a way of thinking, an active decision day by day to be true to each other, never hurt one another, to forgive and not dwell on the past wrongdoings.

While it's easy to say 'I love you', it's more difficult to really follow through with everything else that comes with love. The feeling of love itself will not be enough.

After the novelty wears off, it's all about staying in love and making that decision every day. When you truly love someone, the other person's happiness becomes your own, and all those things: being honest, patient, always protects, always hopes, always perseveres - will not feel like a commitment. They will come naturally.

Let's spend time less talking, but more loving. Don't just say it, but show it.