Welcome!: This week has been..

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

This week has been..

So, I've been having much fun lately, a lot is goin' on at the moment. With the mooncake festival, the ramadhan, the upcoming F1, it's exciting to be in the city right now. Although I'm not too big on mooncake to begin with, my flatmate has been bringing home various mooncakes selection which I could freely nibble around; after her saying, "please help yourself", of course. All hell broke loose afterwards, she should have been more specific, "take only one or two" for example.

But yeah, I've checked out the lantern festival, and this weekend there's gonna be sort of a mooncake party down in my apartment. We'll come, see what's goin' on, mingle around, I think it's gonna be fun.

And it's fasting time too, if it weren't for Mr. F I doubt I would even realize, that's how ignorant I am. But now, I learn to be more sensitive, just like when we went out to watch movie the other day, I made sure I sat a few chairs away from him so he wouldn't hear me munching potato chips. And I didn't even offer, do you know how hard that was? I'm so used to sharing my food that it took a great deal of self-conscience to refrain me from doing that while he was fasting.

So we ate afterwards with the rest of the starving Muslim population at 7ish over in Arab Street. Loads of Indonesian and Turkish food down there. It's a good change of scenery, and a lot more relaxing as well. We could just sit there, have shisha, eat, chill and have a good time, there are loads of stalls along the street, we call it 'pasar malam', night market, literally. Mostly they sell food and muslim clothings, but sometimes you get to see unique things like colorful lamps and carpets. Hello, can you say Aladdin? Ali Baba?

Aside from the fun stuff, I'll be having my last class here in Singapore this Friday, and gosh, that hits me hard in the head. After this all, I'm done. Well, there's still the US trip to look forward to, but I'm sure that will just go like a breeze. A fucking year goes like a breeze, what's a month? It'll just be faster than you saying 'cheese'. I just wanna enjoy the rest of the year, seriously.

Well, my camera couldn't really capture the scenery with enough justice, but I just love the color's reflection on the water...

We ventured out to the waterfront at Kallang, the restaurants are by the river, soothing and romantic...Just by being near to the water is so relaxing, nothing beats that after a long tiring day running for interview...(and movies)

Had a really good time although the restaurant he wanted to bring me to apparently has closed down. What are the odds, huh?

Speaking of interview, though, at this point I'm just done with it. "I've stopped working for a few months now, and now I'm just so eager to start again and really make use of my time," I said to my latest interviewer, as if that would make a difference. But really, I know I said I've been looking for jobs for sometime now, but to be honest I wasn't that much serious. I kept postponing and postponing, telling myself that I would have exam soon so I should prepare first blah blah, such bullshit. I'm just highly unmotivated and lazy, gosh, bless me. But really, it's like I'm watching myself wasting time, and it seems like the harder it gets, the more you want it. The truth is, I've survived the worst possible scenario, what other worse forms of humiliation could take place in a conference room?

So just keep your fingers [and toes] crossed!

But all in all, this week has been great, made some new friends and caught up with old ones. Ladies night yesterday was the most fun I've had in weeks, probably. Hope you all enjoy your week so far as well...I'm rambling rubbish in this entry here, I just realized, ah sod it. So, goodbye for now! :)

p.s: by the way, for you who gives a rat's ass, well, translates to, those who have nothing better to do on rainy days or something, check out video of me and sis singing another song (in Lion King, I would have sung 'be prepared' now just because the title's appropriate..) here and a movie when cous decided to showcase his cooking ability. It's a new concept in our usually-unused kitchen...

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Quotes

There's a hundred million different ways of writing, and it takes you a long time to sort through that stuff. And I think it takes anyone a long time to find a voice.

You must learn to take the good with the bad, the happy with the sad, love what you’ve got and remember what you had. Learn to forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change and things go wrong, but you just have to remember that life goes on.

The day before I’m supposed to be meeting Caroline for a drink, I develop all the textbook symptoms of a crush: nervous stomach, long periods spent daydreaming, an inability to remember what she looks like. I can bring back the dress and the boots, and I can see her bangs, but her face is a blank.

I don't know, I think that if I could just accept the fact that my life is supposed to be difficult. You know, that's what to be expected, then I might not get so pissed-off about it and I'll just be glad when something nice happens.

I can see now I never really committed to Laura. I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments.

There's a big fucking world out there. It's messy, and it's chaotic, and it's never, never ever the thing you'd expect. It is ok to be scared, but you cannot allow your fears to turn you into an asshole, not when it comes to the people that love you, the people that need you.

Maybe what I'm saying is, is the world might be evolving the way a person evolves. Right? Like, I mean, me for example. Am I getting worse? Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier, but I was, uh, whacked with insecurity, you know? Now I'm older and my problems are deeper, but I'm more equipped to handle them.

I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

A woman needs to be held, even, and science has shown this, if its with someone she doesn't care about. Protective hormones are released, and the amount of hormones released depends on the degree to which she is held. The first and best is the complete surround. He wraps you in both arms, whispers how beautiful you are. Second best is the 'arm around.' He is next to you but with one arm around you. Third is he's just next to you on his elbow, but he rests his hand on your stomach and looks at you. Fourth is you snuggling up to him with your head on his chest, while he looks away into space. But when the first best happens, you feel completely, wonderfully like a woman.

So, so what, so fuck off, go home, leave you alone? I'll tell you something Paul, there isn't anything that I've wanted for eighteen years, cause I was a kid eighteen years ago. And if I did still want the same things I'd think I'd gone wrong somewhere, because actually I don't want to marry David Cassidy, I don't want bigger tits, I don't want to do better on my marks. I've stopped worrying about that kind of thing and maybe you should try.

Well maybe there's a big bit of you that's gone missing somewhere, maybe everyone should want something they've always wanted.

Why is it that adults aren't supposed to go mad about anything? You gotta keep a lid on it. And if you don't then people are apparently entitled to say what they like. "You haven't grown up. You're a moron. Your conversation is trivial and boorish. You can't express your emotional needs. You can't relate to your children." And you die, lonely and miserable. But you know, what the hell, every cloud has a silver lining.

I just woke up one morning and didn't feel the same way. Where did it go? It was like there had been a lot of food on a plate in front of us, and we ate it all really quickly, and then there was nothing left. Maybe that's how couples stay together: they're not greedy. They know that what they have in front of them has to last a long time, so they kind of pick at it. I hope it's not like that, though. I hope that when people are happy together, it feels as though someone keeps piling seconds and thirds on their plates.

That is what I have learned: Sex is destructive. Love is nothing to be fooled with. I learned that I was dangerous, not to be trusted. I wondered if my parents were right, with all of their stiff lovelessness. Maybe they knew better. My parents don't dole out love for the deserving or the undeserving. I was learning that love could cost me.

You could say all you liked about reason and logic and common sense and imagination, but when the chips were down, the one skill you needed was the ability to think about absolutely nothing whatsoever.

There is a comfort in never making an effort, but it's a lonely comfort. What keeps you going is the knowledge that you're only playing with only four cards showing. But when you see other people succeeding with their mediocre hands, you have to make a decision. If you turn over that final card you're certain of victory, but it also means you have nothing in reserve.

I’d gone through life believing in the strength and competence of others; never in my own. Now, dazzled, I discovered that my capacities were real. It was like finding a fortune in the lining of an old coat.

Maybe we all live life at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as mere consequence we can never feel merely content: we have to be unhappy, or ecstatically, head-over-heels happy, and those states are difficult to achieve within a stable, solid relationship.