I saw Chris Martin. Yes, you heard right.

I've never been particularly star-strucked before.

I lived in Indonesia for around 17 years of my life, for goodness sake. The only famous faces I've encountered in real life were probably just some dangdut singers or local soap opera's actors. Needless to say, it wasn't very exciting.

“That's Bertrand? Oh.” was my only reaction upon seeing this particular local teenage heartrob. So-called heartrob. I've yet to see the appeal of this metrosexual, ex F-4 wannabe. But that's just me. Apparently girls go crazy after him.

During my almost 4-years stay in Singapore, well, I saw VJ Denise, Utt, and Colby, and probably some other recognizable persons, but still, it was nothing to flip about, see.

“Did you see anyone famous in US?” was another thing some friends asked me after I got back. I mean, it's just natural. I went to Hollywood! Disneyland on Christmas Day! Vegas on New Year's Eve! If it wasn't the perfect time for some celebrities-sighting, I don't know when is.

I was hoping, maybe a little bit of Seacrest? Just, whoever so I could boast.

Granted, on New Year's eve, celebrities were coming out to host countdown parties everywhere. In PURE, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wenz were scheduled to come. [I was standing in front of the red carpet there! I could have been just like, five minutes away from their grand entrance.] There was the Kardashian sisters too somewhere in another club. Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, and man, I wouldn't even mind seeing Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, even if I risk appearing very bimbotic.

But nope. Nada.

And it's okay. I've come to terms with that. I've eventually accepted that I'm simply not cool enough to spot a famous face. I've long given up that dream.

So last Sunday as I was walking towards the sunset through the beach, I wasn't at all prepared to......................

See Chris Martin!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes!! Chris Martin of Coldplay! Yes!! Chris Martin, the husband of Gwyneth Paltrow! Yes!! THAT super-famous-Grammy-award-winner-super-rich-Chris Martin!!!

Let me insert his picture here, for you who doesn't know who Chris Martin is! Dammit, people, where have you been living? A cave?! Hint for my friend Andrew who was like, "Chris who?"

I stood there, agape, unable to believe my eyes. But there he was, in flesh. Chris Martin was in fucking Sentosa.

I've gained back my faith, people! It's possible that one day I would get to marry John Cusack! It's possible that I would be an Oscar-winning-actress! Everything is possible!

I SAW CHRIS MARTIN! VIVA LA VIDA!

This is my first real celebrity-sighting, so forgive me for being so dorky about it.

Behavior

Here's one interesting thing that I discovered recently.

A girl tends to behave unlike herself, in the company of someone she fancies. One-hundred-and-eighty-degrees-difference, in fact. She would eat a lot less, she would laugh a lot softer, she would not talk as much. A girl has to be in her best behavior, especially on the first date, right? No reason to scare the guy away too fast. Give him at least three or four dates, and then, he would find out that she eats like she hasn't eaten for a week, that she laughs like a donkey, and that she can't shut up to save her life. Hopefully by this point, the guy has liked the girl enough to tolerate and even appreciate her sudden change of antics with affection.

At least this is what I found out from my girlfriends.

[They don't laugh like donkeys, and all those things. I'm just putting it into the extreme.]

“You won't believe how she's like in front of this guy,” a male friend told me one time. Apparently he tagged along in one of her date, and he found her dating behavior to be quite amusing. “She didn't even touch her food,” he said, in between laughter.

It's really cute. And the guy must be damn special for her not to eat, that's all I gotta say.

But unfortunately, for some reason it works differently with me. A sign when I really like someone, is when I'm being truly myself in his company. I like someone when I eat like I can eat a whole cow alive, when I laugh like a donkey, and when I can't shut up.

On my first date with this guy one time, the first thing I said after we finished our dinner was, 'I'm still hungry, what's for round two?' He looked at me as if I was insane.

I have different disposition when it comes to dating than my girlfriends. When I do all these things, it goes to show that I'm making effort to keep things light and fun. And I keep yammering on and on, because I find him interesting. I'd like to see his reaction and opinions on the things I said because in my twisted mind, I'd like to get to know him better.

Weird logic? I don't know. I think they're great enough as they are, and they shouldn't even attempt to behave any differently, because if they're really trying to impress, then they should just be themselves.

Which guy would like a girl who doesn't eat anyway, right? Just a penny of my thought.

Bad Weather

Images courtesy of Anderson.

I loved these. Thought I'd share one or two here.

Isn't that just so intense?

Singapore has officially entered the rainy season, and it rains almost everyday nowadays. Sometimes it's even more like a storm than a rain. But the picture, man!

The cloud looked like it's gonna eat the whole city.

Brace yourself. It's gonna be a wet, windy and bumpy month.

Bits of Vegas

Vegas is somethin' else. It's a city full of energy, of excitement, of contagious wildness. It was intoxicating just being there, in the midst of crowds on the evening of December 31st.

We weren't ready to leave San Diego yet at that point, so we were pretty sullen in the bus to Vegas. It wasn't a short ride, either, and the bus was full that we had to sit separately. I had a black kid sitting beside me at the first half of the drive, and the next half to this gigantic, talkative elder man who wouldn't shut up. He just wouldn't. I was still slightly hungover (excessive drinking!), so I spent almost the whole ride sleeping. We stopped at this small town called Barstow, which consists of nothing more than open land and short-buildings and a transit centre where we grabbed a bite. I was this close to fainting, and seeing the faces of the girls, I was sure they weren't far behind me either. By the time we reached Vegas, it must have been at least 8 pm at night. I was disoriented, tired, and feeling sick to my stomach, literally.

The first thing that greeted us when we alighted at this sin city wasn't the dirty smell of cigar, or the sexy sight of roullete tables, but a full-packed bus station. Black people were everywhere, their asses at the big risk of dropping down due to their low-waist pants they were wearing. What is it with this desire to show off piece of cheap underwears? Oh, I can make a whole new entry on this subject itself, I need to stop myself now.

Our hotel was out in the boulder area, it was a typical casino-hotel. The casino was always full with middle-aged people playing slots machines. Bonnie called it a 'retirement hotel'. We were the hottest people there, yeah, because we were the only ones under sixty!

We spent the next four days exploring the Strip. With the new year looming in, Vegas was at its most crowded state.

The three of us didn't love Vegas as much as we thought we would. Looking at the pictures now though, I thought, "What didn't you like it?" and I came up empty. I didn't know why we weren't loving it as much as we were San Diego or San Francisco!

It could be the fact that we couldn't watch any shows because everything was sold out, and it could be because we weren't swimming with money that we couldn't simpy spend a hundred bucks to get inside a club for new year's eve countdown. It could be because our hotel was far away from the Strip that it took us 2 bus rides and at least forty five minutes to go back and forth between the two. It could be because walking around in the Strip with heels was tiring and waiting for cab for two hours at 3 am on a cold, chilly night wasn't much fun either.

But I guess that's just the circumstances. The city itself is crazy beautiful and only there I have seen a beer bottle so big!!!

The street in Vegas, bursting of lights and energy.

A glimpse of Paris.

...and New York too.

More pictures here.

We certainly had eventful time there, that's for sure. Yeah, my two-hundred-dollars phone bills was definitely eventful. Dammit.

Seeing Vegas pictures leaves me feeling the most nostalgic! I wish we could have given the city more credit, I hope we can go back there one day and re-experience it again.

"transition"

Just a quick update! Yes, yes, I haven't been yammering here at all! Not because I'm busy or anything, in fact, it's the complete opposite! I'm so jobless it's not even funny anymore.

When I thought I would have had to start working last week, the night before I was with my friend and I was whining continuously, hoping I could still have a week or two of freedom before adulthood started. Guess what? I got what I wanted, and now I would give anything to be working. Be careful what you wish for, that's all I've gotta say.

Well, nah, in case you're curious, I wasn't fired on my first day! There has simply been a problem regarding my work permit, suffice to say I decided that the job wasn't worth it. So I'm back to square one, unemployed and broke. And it's not a good position to be in, especially when everyday you keep spending and spending, sometimes without even knowing what it is you're spending your money on. It's still a mystery to me.

I'm so stressed out and I need to know there will be light at the end of the tunnel! I need to know that I won't have my sexy arse kicked out from Singapore!

I'm just gonna be brainless today, but I'm gonna write something significant for a change later, I promise.

apology

I have an awful feeling that I haven't been a pretty good friend lately. What's worse is that, I think I've been that way to everyone. And for that, I'm really sorry.

I hear people say 'it's not you, it's me' all the time, and I used to mock the clicheness of it all, and it's not even an excuse, but that's how it is with me lately.

I feel like, I'm in this shit hole and I don't even wanna get out, you know? I guess, I'm just struggling with my own things, and while I'm at it, I can't focus on doing something else, something fun with my friends. And each time I'm 'neglecting' them, the worse I feel about myself, but at the same time, I'm unethusiastic about the idea of trying to be all cheerful and excited when my mind is occupied with other things. Trust me, I wish I could just leave all that at home. I'd love to welcome any distraction.

I wonder if this is how all depressed people started out. I mean, they can't just be depressed overnight, can they? It comes in stages, I assume. First, they're constantly worried and feeling meh about everything, and then they just don't go out anymore and they have no more friends, and they end up being miserable and grumpy and lonely and nobody would stand even being in near proximity with them.

Oh, god. Am I on the road to depression?

When people are going crazy, do they know that they are going crazy?

Okay, stop. This isn't helping at all. It's not even as if I have enough life-and-death situation to be depressed about. I'm not severely heartbroken, I'm not chased around by loansharks, or gangsters. In fact, I just graduated!

Everyone who hear this always say, "Congratulations! You must be excited!" But the truth is, I'm still waiting for the moment for the excitement to sink in. Any minute now, I hope. Yeah, that was what I thought a week ago.

It's just funny how sometimes your entire life could be filled with just one problem. Do you remember as a teen, all you needed to worry about was to get good grades at school? At the time, it seemed enormous, difficult. Now? It was nothing. Does it mean that it was silly to get stressed over it? Well, no. I keep telling myself that this isn't a big deal, that later ahead I would look back and laugh about it, but it doesn't make me feel much better now, to be honest.

Well, I'm rambling again, as always. The whole point of it all is, just to admit that I've been a terrible, shitty friend lately and I'm disliking it myself. I need to, figure things out first. But even with that said, I should have handled it better, I shouldn't be this way, no doubt about it. So friends, I'm really sorry.

And to one particular friend whom I've been verbally abused all the time since I've been this tense, moody and irritable bitch. I'm sorry for being extremely difficult to hang out with, to not reciprocate when nice things are said, and basically, for not appreciating you enough for being patient. And a good friend.

I'm gonna try to make it better. And one more thing, don't let me be depressed. Please.