I love her smile. I love her hair. I love her knees. I love this heart-shaped birthmark she has on her neck. I love the way she sometimes licks her lips before she talks. I love the sound of her laugh. I love the look when she's sleeping.
I love how I hear this song every time I think of her. I love how she makes me feel."
I hope you don't mind that I post more quotes in this blog. I just love reading them! Nonetheless it will probably make me even lazier to post real entries, but I can't help it! Sharing these quotes with you makes me as happy as reading them myself. So I hope you like it too.
So, how's it going, folks? I'm really having a good time this weekend, spending the holiday with my family, and of course, enjoying the long weekend without work!
I probably haven't blogged about my birthday, which was pretty low-key if you ask me. I'm never big on birthdays, and there's a reason why I never really feel like throwing a party every year to celebrate the fact that I'm still blessed with another year on this earth. (So morbid!) But yeah, during high school, when most of my friends held their birthday parties in hotels and extravagant restaurants, I simply had a simple get-together with close friends. Last year, my friends paid a surprise visit to my room on the midnight of my birthday when I was already in bed, wearing embarrassing clothes with my hair sticking out in every direction. That's how much I really made effort for my own birthday.
This year was no difference. I woke up feeling ever the same; got ready for work and got an early birthday hugs and wishes from my sisters and cousin at home. My dad left me a present too, which was, a book on 'success'. Ah, bless him. But I went to work really early, and I felt strangely at ease and relieved that no one in the office would know what day it was.
But I was in for a surprise, because they did know. They got me, I didn't see it coming at all. We celebrated it with a cake, and despite me not liking surprises, I was really touched and pleased. Here they were, people I just got to know, and they made an effort for me. I am utterly grateful.
At night, we had another cake that my sister bought. It was a chocolate log cake, and we had a little celebration and took pictures, and once again I felt blessed for these people. Wishes from family and friends were good enough, I didn't need much else. I was happy, and appropriately so.
The fact that I am now 23 doesn't make much difference, aside from the realization that I'm not a child anymore and I should take things more seriously. But all in all, I am happy with my life, and with the people that are still in it. Thank you everyone, who has made me feel special and let that known.
Anyway, I should post some pictures from the occasion, but my cousin hasn't uploaded them to computer, so I'll do that soon. Well, I guess, I wanna say, that I may not be big on birthdays, but it's utterly nice to know that some people would go through troubles just to remind me that I should be; that maybe, it is something worth celebrating.
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
Merry Christmas, everyone! Happy holidays! I may not celebrate today with extravagant parties, but I have with me everyone I love, and those who love me unconditionally, and that's what matters. I hope all of you are having a blessed day with your loved ones too.
Let us count our blessings and be grateful for everything we've had until today.
So these were my 2009 new year's resolution which I wrote last year. I remembered writing it after I got back from the States, feeling slightly depressed about being back here with no immediate plan in mind. I wrote what I was feeling at that time, what I needed to change, what mishaps I could have done and learnt from them. Anyway, let's see if I've somehow managed to accomplished most of these.
I will try not to worry and think too much about everything in life. I tend to over-analyze and get paranoid over the small stuffs, so I really need to learn not to sweat over the tiny bit of details, and just enjoy the ride.
I'd like to think that I've gotten better at this. At least, I knew when I was freaking out, and I just tried to calm myself up. This year has been particularly tough on me, and it's easy to just feel useless over the situation. I learnt it the hard way, and I think if you follow my blog, you would realize how much I've complained about this. At the same time, I tried to remain positive and not lose hope. And I think I'm in a much better place right now, and I intend to keep it that way. I'm grateful for the lesson, because it has reminded me to be a much more patient person. "Good things come to those who wait." Remember that.
But not thinking too much doesn't mean not thinking at all, because I'm whole-heartedly aware that I have made many mistakes in the past due to the fact that I simply did not think before I acted. People have been telling me that I possess absolutely zero sense of danger, and that's how I lost my brain sometimes. (e.g: drink too much beyond my capability, unable to say 'no', receive drinks from strangers, and et-cetera et-cetera) So, I should be more careful and take these things more seriously!
I have definitely learned to take care of myself, instead of depend on others to do so. I've gotten more serious and tentative, skeptic at times. In some circumstances, being skeptic isn't always a bad thing.
I will not drunk-dial my ex-boyfriend again, well, I guess that one is pretty personal, no explanation needed. Ha! At least I got one point right! Nah, I think I'm ready to let it go.
It's definitely accomplished. I haven't talked to him in ages, much less drunk-dialled the guy. It's also a very good sign, because one, I'm over it, and two, I'm not making a bigger fool out of myself.
I will not drink tequila again, simply because there has been too many drunken episodes caused by this little bugger, and it doesn't even taste good! Unlike Jargerbomb, which I'm totally hooked these days! (Although you probably don't need to know that!)
I will not have alcohol offered by a guy before going out, no matter how cute he is. Back in Oklahoma, I went out with this guy, and the context wasn't even a date, because I brought along another friend. He was picking us up at our room and I thought once he arrived, we could just go out straightaway, but he told me he wanted to come in first, so he did, and he pulled out a bottle of whisky from his pocket and we ended up finishing the whole bottle before even heading out! Bad, bad, bad guy! Stupid, stupid, stupid me! Couldn't really blame the guy entirely 'cos I played along. (see what I mean about being stupid and not thinking before acting?)
*Chuckle* Well, I do drink tequila still, on certain occasions. (Maybe it's not a good idea to swear off something before you really mean it) Drinking with caution is not a bad thing, is it?
I will find a fulfilling, permanent job! And the point here is fulfilling because I don't want just any jobs. Granted I may not get exactly my dream job straightaway, 'international correspondent', just because it's way too ambitious, (I'm a dreamer but even dreamer has to go back to reality sometimes) I shall seek and explore any other opportunities. Speaking of job, I have just finished my resume...I think! Clap!
Well.. That is covered, for now.
I will be a better friend because friendship means a tad lot to me, and I'm happy I made a lot of new friends last year, but as important is to keep the old ones. And I intend to do just that.
Who knew I was gonna find a really great friend at the start of the year? I'm really thankful for all the friends I have, those who stay, and those who invest in this friendship for as much as I do. They are the best.
I will spend more time with my family. During the course of the past few years, I just realized (it just hit me), that family sticks together no matter what. In fact, they probably are the only ones who won't ever leave. Well, I hope it's not only because of obligation. I have great family, everytime I come back home, I'm constantly reminded of that simple but most of times, taken-for-granted fact. For the resolution, though, I'm starting something simple; spending time with my sisters. Meli is coming to Singapore for her undergraduate study and I definitely want lots of bonding time...even if it's over a game in playstation, knowing her.
Yes. I think I've accomplished that too. My little sister is already here too, and now we spend as much time together as we can, during weekends especially. I'm really glad I have the most amazing sisters!
I will not get too drunk and pass out. Oh my god, so many memories come flooding back. No more any of that! No more throwing up and passing out in public. No more waking up and going like 'what the hell happened?' No more dialling up my friends for vivid details of the events leading to my unconscious state. No more being so embarrassed of seeing people who have witnessed more things than they have bargained for in the eyes. A lot more things. Dammit.
I will maintain my weight. 48 kg, no more, no less. Well, it probably could go down a little bit seeing how chubby I am, but definitely not more. This arm, right here, has got to go, though.
Okay, this one is a big failure. Not only have I been gaining weight, I'm also ballooning at an uncontrollable rate at the moment. There's no stopping it!
I will not have anything to do with the boy from the seventh floor anymore, simply because I don't want anything out from it, so what's the point? Out of impulse these days I always look up and check on his window to see if his lights are on, and that freaks me out; the fact that I appear to be a little on the stalker-side. And everytime I go down on the lift, I'm anxious that I may bump into him, it's just too weird.
What boy again???
I will read more books and watch more movies.
This is a definite yes. Books and movies are what keep me sane. Can't get enough of 'em.
I will buy myself a new phone, and this has really got to happen. My current phone is ancient, ugly, and friends complain that they often can't reach me, that somehow by miraculous reasons they go straight to mail box. It's time to change this thing I call my handphone, baby.
Yes! I've changed my phone to LG Secret which I have had since probably March. Absolutely loving it and so far it's been treating me good. No more complaints about not being able to reach me. Mission accomplished.
Lastly, I will involve myself in more positive activities, meet more people and not limit my preferences.
Ummm... Well, I am working, so that's definitely a positive activity, right?
Yes, yes, I need more challenging goals for next year!
I didn't go straight HA-HA-HA right there and then because hey, I'm new and I still like to keep my integrity intact as 'the new shy girl' for as long as I can, please! I was certainly laughing from the inside, though.
So I have my own desk in front because I guess I'm the media person slash guests-greeter. Yes, my lips are itching from all that smiling to everyone who passes my way. But anyway, at one point of the day I made a really interesting and surprising discovery. We had boxes and boxes of our published magazines here in the office, and as I was observing them, I saw a condom packet on top of one of the boxes.
I was surprised! I looked left and right but noone seemed to be paying any attention, so I quickly grabbed the packet and found that it was still fully sealed. THANK GOODNESS! But the obvious question was, hm, what was it even doing there?
Bearing in mind that we do get magazines and papers delivered everyday, it could be just, that thing somehow fell from the sky; eh I mean, from the whoever-delivery-guy's pocket. Or maybe it's merely a bonus sample from a magazine. There are lots of possibilities, come to think of it. Still, it didn't make my Durex' discovery any less comforting. Although, I did think it was really funny.
Anyway, the day proceeded on and I didn't pay any more attention to that said-packet. As the day grew to an end and I finally was packing up to leave, I somehow remembered this, and I glanced to the box to see the final destiny drawn for the lonely contraceptive device.
Imagine my dismay. The packet was no longer there! Somehow in the 4 hours that passed, someone has managed to snatch that thing away! Why, when, how, why, where?! Hmmm.
I think you were there when I was so obsessed with '24'. That might have been the only thing I talked about for at least a few days, and I finished 24 episodes in one season in just a matter of days! I guess that's why it's called obsession, huh?
Plus, I'm a movie junkie, which makes me more prone to this, and I'm loving it if I can get good-enough TV shows to get me really hooked and forget about everything else, like, eating, or doing something productive. (almost...) Although, on a second thought, watching makes me feel hungry even more often than usual, 'cos I like having snacks and nibbling on food while watching. Shucks, that's why my diet always fails miserably.
And now, I think I found my new obsession in Alias and Survivor Samoa.
Both shows are amazing, and equally addictive! I have three complete seasons of Alias at home, which my sister bought a while ago. I've been starting from the first season and I'm now on to Disc 6 in just a day or two. It's awesome! I love the action, drama, twist, and all in all, just the intensity of the story. J.J Abrams is a genius, and recently I've started seeing Fringe too, although at a much slower rate.
Alias is so good, because well, the story itself is just brilliant, so it's hard not to get so into it. And each episode always ends in such a cliffhanger that you simply must watch the next one unless you wanna be kept up all night wondering what's gonna happen to all these characters.
As for Survivor Samoa, well, what can I say? Reality show has its own appeal, don't you think? I've seen a few seasons of Survivor, and they are all good. But this season is especially different and addictive because of one particular contestant. I mean, I can boldly say that he's the main reason why I'm liking this series so much. Anyway, his name is Russell, and anyone wouldn't like him at first because he's so cunning and untrustworthy, the kind of person who would stab you in the back without so much as flinching. But as the game progresses, I don't know, he just becomes this very likeable character, that I can't imagine anyone not rooting for him to win. He's been so brilliant, smart, and consistent in his game; he's the one who has ever played this game Survivor right. It is about outplaying and outwitting everyone else after all, and that's exactly what he's doing. Boldly and shamelessly so.
I'm so hooked on this show and it's crazy. Today the new episode airs on TV and literally I was jumping up and down in panic during Tribal Council in fear that Russell might be voted off. But of course, he wasn't. And then I wonder, how could I take some reality show so seriously, but I don't know, I really do feel some sort of attachments to characters in every kind of shows and movies. I think it's a good thing. Otherwise, don't you think it's just be sad if people are just merely watching without any sorts of emotions at all?
Okay, have I been boring you to tears?! Sorry. I shall end this soon then. On that note, I'd like to know, what is your current favorite show on TV? From the past or present, it doesn't matter. Alias is a really old series, but I just started seeing it now, so don't be ashamed if your answer is uhm..I don't know, Party of Five, or Full House or something.
(hiding laughter) No, no, kidding! Not gonna mock you!
Usually at this time of year, I'll have already started making my new year's resolution. Okay, at least, given it a go. It may sound a little cheesy, but I really think it's good to kinda look back and evaluate what you've done, people you've met, places you've been, and issues you've overcome. You know, to just reflect on the whole thing.
I did so for the past few years, and it's nice to have a set of fresh new goals to achieve for the upcoming year, you know?
It's rather hard this year because, I don't know, I don't think I've accomplished anything. Well, aside from the new degree diploma that I just got. Yeah sure, I'm a graduate, yeah, I have a diploma to prove it. Somehow it doesn't make me jump for joy.
People are always the hardest on themselves, I guess. It's like, you know, there's this saying "It's funny how you can always tell when a boy like someone else, but can never tell if he likes you." And I think it's true. Somehow we can't be objective when it comes to ourselves. I scold my friend when he's being too hard on himself, and I have a feeling I do the same thing to myself.
That's why I can't be truly excited about this year, about starting a new one. Usually I can say, 'okay, here's what I did right, and what I did wrong, and well, I'm learning from these mistakes and now we can move on.' But, what have I done for the past months? It's depressing, I know.
Still, I keep reminding myself to remain positive and hopeful. And if my experience could teach me anything, is that, no one should stop trying after a few bumps on the road. And I believe that the best is yet to come, that there have been many other people before me who persevered and succeeded.
Maybe me being hard on myself is just a defense mechanism so I'm never satisfied with what I've done, and therefore kept moving forward.
I'm not too happy about this year, and there are many things I wish I have done differently, but I don't know, maybe that can be part of the mistakes I could learn from. Well, either way, I'm still gonna make that new year's evaluation and resolution. We'll see how that goes.
I can't believe December is here already! This is my favorite time of year, so I wish I can scratch it for as long as I can, because the image of starting a new year without much of an accomplishment is..bleh. Not good at all. (And rather discouraging.)
The fact that I'll be turning a year older isn't much help either. No! I don't want to be older just yet! Maybe I should stick to 22. 22 is a good number, isn't it?
Yeah, definitely. I'm sticking.
Anyway, sorry I haven't been writing much at all. I just got back to Singapore two nights ago and I've been meaning to write, it's just my creative juice isn't flowing yet. So...let's give it a little more time. I have to say though, that Jakarta was fun! There's no place like home, and I truly just feel loved, welcomed, and spoiled every time I go back. My family is just amazing, I won't trade them for anything.
And I got to meet my best girlfriends too over the weekend, and we had a blast. So yeah finally I got to go to the new Grand Indonesia (yeah, I'm a disgrace to my country!) and we spent time catching up and having a laugh over lunch, movie, dinner and drinks.
I really love these girls =)
So maybe I should start off with my birthday wishlist!
1. Get a job 2. See 'Astro Boy' 3. Get a job 4. Run at least twice a week 5. Get a job 6. See 'Capitalism: A Love Story' 7. Arrange time to meet up with Bonnie, it's been way too long 8. Get a job 9. Take a morning walk through Southern Ridge Park 10. See '2012' for one reason only: John Cusack 11. Get a job 12. Check out Wavehouse at Sentosa 13. Think of something special for Todd's birthday 14. Get a job 15. See 'The Informant' 16. Write at least 10 more blog posts 17. Get a job 18. Oh, have I mentioned, get a job??