With any luck, by next year - I'll be going out with one of these girls. [shows pictures of beautiful supermodels]
But for now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it's Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth - To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you - Until you look like this. [picture of a mummy]
You know, I try so hard to please everyone, but in the process, I make myself unhappy.
I convinced myself that by making other people happy, I will be happy too. And sure, that works. But then, doesn’t that just mean that your happiness depend entirely on others?
What about my own happiness? One that comes from me?
I realized that it’s important that I am happy too. That I need to make me a priority too, instead of pushing my own needs at the back of the line behind everyone else’s.
I have to take control of my own life because no one else is gonna do the job.
And really, the one thing I can probably give the people around me is to be happy, fulfilled and satisfied as a daughter, sister, girlfriend, friend. This means, being myself 100%.
I want to be able to live my life truly and passionately. I want my work to be exciting, to really be something that I love doing, something that would make a difference – if not for others, at least for me.
I want to go to the library and read crazy amounts of books like I used to. I want to sit at home, writing creatively about anything and everything. I want to do a Star Wars marathon on DVD. There are plenty of things I have been procrastinating and pushed aside.
I want to be brave and be open to my feelings. Even when they are difficult.
I want to love freely, to just enjoy the ride, to live in the moment.
I used to be so positive and carefree – where did that girl go? Why am I constantly worrying and thinking too much? It’s really exhausting. I can’t spare that amount of energy on top of everything else.
I want to say to myself. Take a deep breath. Chill. Have more faith in you.
And then, work towards those things that can make you happy. Stop procrastinating.