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Sunday 22 July 2007

Slighty Better Rubbish. (Still Rubbish Nonetheless)

Finally! Sunday!!!!!

Usually I would have been out to the wilderness by now, but not today! Today is the last remaining day of the week that I could wake up late!! (I woke up at mid-day today, and yes, it IS late if we're talking about my routine lately.) And I even have school on Saturday. So much for weekends, eh?

See, I told you about my Umbridge-alike lecturer, right? She is very punctual with a capital P. She wouldn't let us sign the attendance if we pass even one second after 2 pm! It isn't even 2 o'clock sharp(because the clock in the class may not even be that accurate, and 2 pm-a-la-non-accurate-class'-clock could might as well be 1.57 in my-definitely-accurate-watch, so the whole thing could get a bit tricky. You gotta live by the class' clock, and your life basically depends on it, if I may add to enchance the dramatic effect. And believe me, nobody wants to mess with the clock! One late second and not only you can't sign in your attendance(yes, you are treated quite similarly as an ungrateful chap who sits with both his leg on the table, put on sulky unattractive frown for the exact three and a half hours lesson,..no,actually two hours, cos he doesn't never wanna come in unless he's late by at least, one and a half hour, and yes, I am babbling here just to prove to you my point and I'm not going to stop until my point is well-taken.) And so what I was saying..no matter if it's one second or one hour, you are still l-a-t-e, ha ha. Not only you managed to receive some filthy glances and be stamped as the class' dirtiest, baddest bad boy, you also definitely cannot submit your homework. Not a chance in H. So where does the clock get you to if you mess with it? Bad reputation, filthy glance, embarrassement, zero score for assignment, just to name a few.

So no, I don't plan to get myself late these days. And we all know better that public transports can be unrealiable sometimes, so I should go a full hour and fifteen minutes before the commencing class. And that could result in, some uncomfortable, unsatisfying good night sleep, if you ask me. But okay, I can handle it. I guess. I mean, I used to wake up at 5 am every morning during my school days, right? So surely 10.30 am isn't really that bad.

Speaking of public transports, I had two of the most horrifying experiences ever. From now on, I declared the bus nomer 65 and 502 to be the BUSS FROM HELL!!!! (because I don't know what is worse than hell, if there is another term, I would gladly use it.)

BUS 65 - I was waiting for it in front of Lucky Plaza, and we were going to go to Little India, but the bus NEVER CAME!!!!!!!!! Freaking A, it NEVER CAME!!!
BUS 502 - I was waiting for it in the stop opposite Far East Plaza and HELL, I WAITED FOR AN HOUR!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS BURNING WITH RAGE! THIS MUST BE A HUGE JOKE!!!!! THERE IS NO WAY THAT ANY BUS HAS ONE-HOUR-INTERVAL BUT I COULDN'T BE DREAMING OR HALLUCINATING, RIGHT?! I WAS RIGHT THERE, WAITING UNTIL MY HAIR TURNED GREY AND I WAS AGEING BY AT LEAST TWO YEARS!

I felt I could really strangle someone at that exact moment, and know what's even funnier? Funnier ha ha?! IT HAPPENED ON THE SAME DAY!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Funny, eh???!!!
HAVE WONDERED IF MY FIST COULD FIT IN YOUR MOUTH??!! Wanna give it a try??!!

To say that I was really pissed off would be a great understatement.

Am quite busy these days, to change the topic. Have a presentation on Wednesday about taxi ad campaign. Don't ask.

My sis is playing numerous James Blunt's songs so I can't really concentrate! Honest, I'm not making excuses! Anyway, just for a little insight, I really miss someone now! That explains the slightly lousy mood and inability to crack a joke. Fine, I guess this is an excuse, but it's true!

Picture which is supposed to look arty, but now I just look like a jelly??!!

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Quotes

There's a hundred million different ways of writing, and it takes you a long time to sort through that stuff. And I think it takes anyone a long time to find a voice.

You must learn to take the good with the bad, the happy with the sad, love what you’ve got and remember what you had. Learn to forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change and things go wrong, but you just have to remember that life goes on.

The day before I’m supposed to be meeting Caroline for a drink, I develop all the textbook symptoms of a crush: nervous stomach, long periods spent daydreaming, an inability to remember what she looks like. I can bring back the dress and the boots, and I can see her bangs, but her face is a blank.

I don't know, I think that if I could just accept the fact that my life is supposed to be difficult. You know, that's what to be expected, then I might not get so pissed-off about it and I'll just be glad when something nice happens.

I can see now I never really committed to Laura. I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments.

There's a big fucking world out there. It's messy, and it's chaotic, and it's never, never ever the thing you'd expect. It is ok to be scared, but you cannot allow your fears to turn you into an asshole, not when it comes to the people that love you, the people that need you.

Maybe what I'm saying is, is the world might be evolving the way a person evolves. Right? Like, I mean, me for example. Am I getting worse? Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier, but I was, uh, whacked with insecurity, you know? Now I'm older and my problems are deeper, but I'm more equipped to handle them.

I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

A woman needs to be held, even, and science has shown this, if its with someone she doesn't care about. Protective hormones are released, and the amount of hormones released depends on the degree to which she is held. The first and best is the complete surround. He wraps you in both arms, whispers how beautiful you are. Second best is the 'arm around.' He is next to you but with one arm around you. Third is he's just next to you on his elbow, but he rests his hand on your stomach and looks at you. Fourth is you snuggling up to him with your head on his chest, while he looks away into space. But when the first best happens, you feel completely, wonderfully like a woman.

So, so what, so fuck off, go home, leave you alone? I'll tell you something Paul, there isn't anything that I've wanted for eighteen years, cause I was a kid eighteen years ago. And if I did still want the same things I'd think I'd gone wrong somewhere, because actually I don't want to marry David Cassidy, I don't want bigger tits, I don't want to do better on my marks. I've stopped worrying about that kind of thing and maybe you should try.

Well maybe there's a big bit of you that's gone missing somewhere, maybe everyone should want something they've always wanted.

Why is it that adults aren't supposed to go mad about anything? You gotta keep a lid on it. And if you don't then people are apparently entitled to say what they like. "You haven't grown up. You're a moron. Your conversation is trivial and boorish. You can't express your emotional needs. You can't relate to your children." And you die, lonely and miserable. But you know, what the hell, every cloud has a silver lining.

I just woke up one morning and didn't feel the same way. Where did it go? It was like there had been a lot of food on a plate in front of us, and we ate it all really quickly, and then there was nothing left. Maybe that's how couples stay together: they're not greedy. They know that what they have in front of them has to last a long time, so they kind of pick at it. I hope it's not like that, though. I hope that when people are happy together, it feels as though someone keeps piling seconds and thirds on their plates.

That is what I have learned: Sex is destructive. Love is nothing to be fooled with. I learned that I was dangerous, not to be trusted. I wondered if my parents were right, with all of their stiff lovelessness. Maybe they knew better. My parents don't dole out love for the deserving or the undeserving. I was learning that love could cost me.

You could say all you liked about reason and logic and common sense and imagination, but when the chips were down, the one skill you needed was the ability to think about absolutely nothing whatsoever.

There is a comfort in never making an effort, but it's a lonely comfort. What keeps you going is the knowledge that you're only playing with only four cards showing. But when you see other people succeeding with their mediocre hands, you have to make a decision. If you turn over that final card you're certain of victory, but it also means you have nothing in reserve.

I’d gone through life believing in the strength and competence of others; never in my own. Now, dazzled, I discovered that my capacities were real. It was like finding a fortune in the lining of an old coat.

Maybe we all live life at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as mere consequence we can never feel merely content: we have to be unhappy, or ecstatically, head-over-heels happy, and those states are difficult to achieve within a stable, solid relationship.