Monday 8 October 2007

Rain, Class, Dog, Pervert

Get ready for soon-to-be-long entry! Funny, huh? I knew that it's going to be a long post when I barely write 2 complete sentences. Maybe I can predict the future. Or maybe I just know myself too much, and right now, I have so much to tell, although nothing quite exciting as some of you may think. You should have known it by now that my life isn't that much of a reality-tv-material, I mean, except from all the dramatic events, narcissism, and self-obsession over certain food, actor, movie, book, or song, I'm a very normal kid.

Anyway, just to tell you a bit about my day. Today is my first day of Values and Cultures class, and I was pretty excited about it, I'm a student after all. What can a student like me do, if not study? (this question is not meant to be answered.) But then the weather was really cloudy and soon after it was raining hard, so hard that I had a fright of being struck by a falling tree since the wind was blowing like mad. Usually I like the smell of rain, and at home I would just sit on the balcony overlooking the street and indulge in the unique smell of rain, feeling really relaxed and carefree. But, the rain this morning wasn't necessarily enjoyable, let alone made me want to jump. The thing is, I was already waiting in the bus stop when the rain started pouring and knowing me, I would not in a million years bring an umbrella just for the sake of being cautious. So what to do, right? The rice has turned into porridge, (is there such saying in english?) and I had no choice but to get on the freaking bus and pray madly that by the time I alighted, it had stopped raining and I wouldn't suffer from hypothermia.

I should have known better, I mean, I'm not exactly known for my good luck on anything! So what makes me think this time would be different? When I alighted the bus, I swear to you, the rain has poured even harder! And I was literally, trapped! Because see, I still had to walk some distance to the school from the bus stop, and there was no way I could run (even if I ran like Road Runner) without getting soaked unglamorously, drenched in cold. And so, I just waited there. Waited for what? I'm not sure.

Fortunately, I had this genious technology invention everyone call 'mobile phone', and I called babe to come pick me in the stop with an umbrella. Seriously, no matter how much I love her as a friend, I still wouldn't want to be caught dead dancing and twirling around together in the rain for the public to see. And so she came, technically a life-saver. After some good 20 minutes! (no, no, babe, I'm not complaining!)

So stage 1 was completed and in the end I was tucked safely inside the 'confusius' shelter we all know as 'my school building'. We had lunch and went to class. Quite happy to see all my classmates, even with those I'm not close with. There's just something really familiar about them and it's comforting, see. The professor came and started the class, he was this big old caucasian man who looked so much alike like Colonel Sanders, so just picture him in your mind for a second. His head was moving funnily everytime he talked, not in the indian-kind-of-way, but definitely moving really oddly. It was quite distracting at first, really, but I got used to it after a while, and it wasn't his head I paid much attention to anymore as much as his bulging stomach. Anyway, I'm not going to discuss his stomach, please!

It was an interesting subject, I found, because it was sort of a literature-and-philosophical kinda class, and he spent the lecture talking about the archaic people and their way of thinking, that all they did revolved around rituals they believed to be taught by God, in fact, everything was about the word of God, and for all they knew, there was only one way to do everything, the right way, and so their life consisted of rituals after rituals which they did obediently without asking because that was what God told them to do, so who are they to question it? Each day was the same for them, and no changes ever happened, there was never confusion or misunderstandings. And these people believed in the power of personal communication, that as long as they act favorably towards anything (nature, environment, people, whatever), they will be protected, nothing bad can ever happened to them. And so they danced, and prayed for the rain, for the grasshopper to go away, for the plants to grow, and if it happened otherwise, they felt like they must have done something wrong to piss God, or the god of rain, or the god of plants, or whoever.

Well, they must have a really secure life, or just plain..pitiful. Because, changes are bound to happen, no matter how hard you try to keep everything the same. And there are just things beyond our control, sometimes unexplainable, and we are given brain to think, not just to follow. If one stops for a second to think about improving a way to do something, then is he a bad person because of that? Isn't believing something without even asking, or giving it a second thought, a really foolish act? Isn't doing something, without understanding, reason, or purpose, shows how unindependent we are? I have to admit, though, that those ancient people must have been much happier than us now. They knew exactly what they had to do, and so what if they couldn't fully optimize their life? Not that I wanted to live in a society like that, but I"m just saying. Technology offers us more opportunities, more chances, more explanation, more solutions, sure, but it also brings more risks, more danger, more harms, and more disputes. So in the end, which is better? It's just a matter of different understanding, there is no right or wrong. People nowadays would think that ancient people are stupid for just following orders without asking, but ancient people can easily think we are stupid too, for making simple things complicated.

The professor wanted us to think about God in particular. And about how it would be like if we were back to those archaic times. I don't know, in a way I guess if I never knew anything else outside that world, I would never entertain the possibility of having something more, you see. Suddenly I remember the movie 'The Village', because roughly it's about a village that is secluded from the outside world, it's very self-sufficient and the villagers never had any thought that there might be another world outside their little village. Well, actually they knew there were something out there, but they didn't dare to go out because the leaders of the village spreaded the rumor that there were evil creatures which eat humans, and this rumor had been held as a truth among the villagers for centuries. And so, they stay inside the village and they are happy enough with the arrangement because in their mind, it was deadly and dangerous forrest out there. While in fact, there weren't any creatures at all, outside the village there were just another regular city, but no one knew about it except the leaders. And the leaders were neither right, or wrong. Well, because the villagers are happy anyway, right? They can never miss something they don't know, can they?

And about God? Well, I believe that there is a bigger force out there in the world, because I don't think that everything happens at random, there must be something who controls all of these, and that is God, isn't it? The thing is, I'm not sure I believe that he loves each and every one of us and that he cares as if we are his own children. That is just too much of a comforting concept, isn't it? But people are not stupid, they can't just believe something so..perfect. And I stand corrected. Praying gives strength to the people, not to grant their wishes. It's just natural to fall back into God, because who else can we turn to in the end of the day? Even if God doesn't exist in a way that we thought, what harm can it do to believe him? Because it's comforting, it's the feeling of complete secure.

I honestly don't know how I got into this conclusion, because I've always been someone that is proud of her religion and someone who has great faith in God, but maybe it's just a temporary maturing process I had to go through in order to walk back to Him, stronger and surer than before, because I've considered this possibility and found out that I'm wrong.

Ooookay, I'm sorry, didn't intend to write this much about the topic but I got excited! I'll be fine and I can start talking about unimportant stuffs again after a few seconds of cooling down. Ha!

So, the class ended at five, and babe and I went to Holland Village to hang out and see around. I miss wandering around aimlessly with her. Ugh, and as expected, she dragged me into this pet store there, in which she couldn't stop going 'aaaw' and 'oowww' at each dog! I saw this really disturbingly frightening dog which looked a lot like chihuahua but not exactly, it was so skinny beyond belief and so hyperactive it kept jumping around and even putting its two legs up as if it was standing up, and the gesture was very disturbing because it looked like a skeleton! But I found one that I liked..


Now this is what I called cool! Look at his white fur! He almost looked like a wolf!

And I were to have a dog (which is nearly impossible), I would want one like this. Not some cutey-cutey little one, and definitely not one that is hyper!

Anyway, on my way home I encountered a really odd experience. Odd, because it might just be my feelings and not actually happened at all, but sometimes you just gotta listen to your gut, no? (at least that's what I learned from the book 'Blink'! Trust your instinct!) Well, so I was sitting in the rear side of the bus, when this gentleman walked in and sat opposite me. Not exactly opposite, you know the new bus' seating arrangement, right? There are rows of chairs facing the sideways, and in the back, they are seats facing the front too. I sat in the sideway, and the guy was in the seat opposite behind me but facing the front. I didn't pay much attention first at him cos I was listening music anyway (am so in love with Elliott's songs at the moment), but once in a while I would catch him staring into my direction. I suddenly became very self-conscious even though I wasn't sure if he looked into me or just past me, you see. But then some time after, I would see him facing his camera (from his mobile phone) directly at me! Which was weird, because if he really was just looking into his phone, his camera would just point at the front, not sideways to where I sat! And I tried to ignore this at first, convincing myself that I was just making things up! But he kept doing that and it became impossible to ignore. I was wearing skirt and I made sure my legs were tight because I saw it once in TV that there are perverts who like taking pictures or recording girls' skirts, or rather, something inside 'em! I was really distracted by his actions, and he would look at me, point his camera at me for some time, and then look at his phone and then smoothy and pretentiously, slide his camera to my direction again and what was I supposed to think?! I think it's unevitable to think negative given the circumstances! What confirmed me more, was that finally, there was another gentleman sitting in the seat next to him which somewhat covered his camera view from me, (I almost kissed the other gentleman for 'saving me' from this pervert), and from that moment, he didn't point his camera at me anymore! Sure, because now the other guy covered the sight, but if he was really innocent and all this time he was just browsing his phone, how could it be such a coincidence that he stopped that action right after the other guy sat next to him!!

By this time, I was kind of freaked out and I couldn't wait to alight the damn bus, so when my stop finally came, I went out eagerly as fast as I could, and to my horror, he was right behind me, apparently alighting at the same stop! I walked, crossed the street towards my condo, and he was right on my tail! Oh shit, man! I walked even faster, afraid to look back, but I felt him behind me still until I was at the entrance at my apartment building. I got in quickly, and he finally went in the different direction.

You wouldn't believe how relieved I was! But now that I think about it, maybe I had the right to be really suspicious and frightened by this guy, but still I couldn't be one hundred percent sure that he was up to no good. Probably I was just seeing things that wasn't there and that my mind was just messing around, but I knew what I felt, and it couldn't be helped, okay! I'm just relieved nothing happened!

Why am I suddenly high on adrenaline again after recalling the story?! Maybe because I could still picture his ugly face and his white shirt! And definitely because I do not dare imagine what pictures or whatever he could have taken of me IF my suspicioun was right!

I wish I was wrong! So there you go, my day in a post! Now I'm about to chat for a while and then continue indulging in The Time Traveler's Wife! Good night, everyone.

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