Welcome!: Great

Saturday 6 October 2007

Great

Is it just me or Singapore is really hot nowadays? I thought Jakarta is hotter but apparently, Singapore's catching up really fast! Okay, so I might be here for one day only so my 'nowadays' is probably questionable but before you start throwing sharp objects at me, on my defense, I could say that because I was informed by a very trustworthy witness who had no reason to testify deceiving and misleading facts, mostly because she was under oath.

So! Yes. Singapore is very hot. And that's that. I don't suppose there's anything else I can say on that matter? So why did I go on and spend one precious paragraph discussing it? Because I just love confusing you? Duh?

Well, I was out the entire day, sort of. I was suprised I woke up at 9 this morning which is really early for my standard but then again, I'm a changed woman. And, not only that, I went out by myself! And did grocery shopping! In real supermarket! Ooookay. First of all, I'm not the type of person who likes going out alone because I just need someone who can watch me making a complete fool out of myself, or at least, just appear interested at everything I have to say. And secondly, usually if I want to buy home-supplies, I just go to the nearest market or Fair Price Express right next to my building. You can say I don't really go to a proper supermarket when I'm alone. I do that a lot with my sister, of course. But she's not here, is she? This afternoon, I was overwhelmed by such domestic urge and so I went and took a cart and grocery-shopped! I told you I'm a changed woman! And don't give me that look!

In the end my grocery-shopping adventure resulted in a package of milk bread, one doritos, five red delicious apples (it's really the name of the apple in case you think I'm jobles enough to bother making up names for apples!), one big bottle of ice green tea drink and one smaller bottle of sugar cane drink. Hey! Who says I want to buy things enough to stock an entire population of Nigeria?!

I also bought soft-lens solution and make-up remover and JollyBean (I love jollybeans!). Oh, I haven't told you that I had my eyes checked like, two weeks ago back home and my minus increased to an unbearable, too-painful-to-admit degree! I am so going to end up with glasses like Clark Kent when I'm old. Read: big, thick, awkward, unglamorous and boring. Geez, suddenly being a grown woman is not very appealing anymore.

Anyway, in the evening I met up with my friends at town and it was great to see them again. I miss being around friends and feel like I'm part of something. Not that I don't feel like I'm part of family. But you know what I mean, right? Took a few pictures, will put them here soon. We went to Paragon and Taka and got into those expensive stores while wishing we will be swapped away by Prince William. Kidding;) Had dinner at Ichiban Boshi at Wisma Atria and got home at 11.

I really need to start my assignment. I'm thinking tomorrow if no tempations are blocking my way. I'm in the middle of reading 'The Time Traveller's Wife' and it was very, very good and romantic so far. Romantic in a non-cheesy way. I'm mentally kicking myself for not reading it sooner when the book has been there for years, sitting and rotting in the drawer. Automatically remember the movie Before Sunset too as it was also extremely beautiful and heartbreakingly sad in a non-bursting-into-tears way, but could leave you gloomy and sad for hours because after seeing it, you got to think that life is so cruel and here they are, two people, clearly love each other and connect in a way they have never known before, just from spending a day together and they met again nine years later and they spent an evening together with the same chemistry and intense longing for each other just by talking but they can never be together because the guy is married and the girl has boyfriend but they are never truly happy and complete because meeting each other nine years ago has triggered something inside them that just can't be replaced by anyone else so they still have to live and move on with life, forcing themselves to love other people but they just can never be the same and they can't be happy. It's very, very sad. And the movie is only the two of them talking. About anything and everything, but you can feel the intense connection and chemistry between them although what they talked about are random. They only met two times but yet, it's crystal clear that they are soulmates. Oh gosh, it's just really good, I can never write enough justice for the movie so you have to see it for yourself. Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy are amazing in this. Before Sunset is actually the second movie, taking place nine years after they met for the first time. How they met and how they spent one day together is in the first movie, Before Sunrise, and I haven't seen that one. Really want to see it.

Gosh, I've been rambling about a movie and I don't even realize it. Sorry, folks. But bear with me for a few more seconds. I also listened to the whole album of Lily Allen's Alright, Still and it was brilliant. I love all her songs and the lyrics are fresh and funny and new.

Okay, okay, that's all for now. Good night everyone, don't let the bed bugs bite.

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Quotes

There's a hundred million different ways of writing, and it takes you a long time to sort through that stuff. And I think it takes anyone a long time to find a voice.

You must learn to take the good with the bad, the happy with the sad, love what you’ve got and remember what you had. Learn to forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change and things go wrong, but you just have to remember that life goes on.

The day before I’m supposed to be meeting Caroline for a drink, I develop all the textbook symptoms of a crush: nervous stomach, long periods spent daydreaming, an inability to remember what she looks like. I can bring back the dress and the boots, and I can see her bangs, but her face is a blank.

I don't know, I think that if I could just accept the fact that my life is supposed to be difficult. You know, that's what to be expected, then I might not get so pissed-off about it and I'll just be glad when something nice happens.

I can see now I never really committed to Laura. I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments.

There's a big fucking world out there. It's messy, and it's chaotic, and it's never, never ever the thing you'd expect. It is ok to be scared, but you cannot allow your fears to turn you into an asshole, not when it comes to the people that love you, the people that need you.

Maybe what I'm saying is, is the world might be evolving the way a person evolves. Right? Like, I mean, me for example. Am I getting worse? Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier, but I was, uh, whacked with insecurity, you know? Now I'm older and my problems are deeper, but I'm more equipped to handle them.

I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

A woman needs to be held, even, and science has shown this, if its with someone she doesn't care about. Protective hormones are released, and the amount of hormones released depends on the degree to which she is held. The first and best is the complete surround. He wraps you in both arms, whispers how beautiful you are. Second best is the 'arm around.' He is next to you but with one arm around you. Third is he's just next to you on his elbow, but he rests his hand on your stomach and looks at you. Fourth is you snuggling up to him with your head on his chest, while he looks away into space. But when the first best happens, you feel completely, wonderfully like a woman.

So, so what, so fuck off, go home, leave you alone? I'll tell you something Paul, there isn't anything that I've wanted for eighteen years, cause I was a kid eighteen years ago. And if I did still want the same things I'd think I'd gone wrong somewhere, because actually I don't want to marry David Cassidy, I don't want bigger tits, I don't want to do better on my marks. I've stopped worrying about that kind of thing and maybe you should try.

Well maybe there's a big bit of you that's gone missing somewhere, maybe everyone should want something they've always wanted.

Why is it that adults aren't supposed to go mad about anything? You gotta keep a lid on it. And if you don't then people are apparently entitled to say what they like. "You haven't grown up. You're a moron. Your conversation is trivial and boorish. You can't express your emotional needs. You can't relate to your children." And you die, lonely and miserable. But you know, what the hell, every cloud has a silver lining.

I just woke up one morning and didn't feel the same way. Where did it go? It was like there had been a lot of food on a plate in front of us, and we ate it all really quickly, and then there was nothing left. Maybe that's how couples stay together: they're not greedy. They know that what they have in front of them has to last a long time, so they kind of pick at it. I hope it's not like that, though. I hope that when people are happy together, it feels as though someone keeps piling seconds and thirds on their plates.

That is what I have learned: Sex is destructive. Love is nothing to be fooled with. I learned that I was dangerous, not to be trusted. I wondered if my parents were right, with all of their stiff lovelessness. Maybe they knew better. My parents don't dole out love for the deserving or the undeserving. I was learning that love could cost me.

You could say all you liked about reason and logic and common sense and imagination, but when the chips were down, the one skill you needed was the ability to think about absolutely nothing whatsoever.

There is a comfort in never making an effort, but it's a lonely comfort. What keeps you going is the knowledge that you're only playing with only four cards showing. But when you see other people succeeding with their mediocre hands, you have to make a decision. If you turn over that final card you're certain of victory, but it also means you have nothing in reserve.

I’d gone through life believing in the strength and competence of others; never in my own. Now, dazzled, I discovered that my capacities were real. It was like finding a fortune in the lining of an old coat.

Maybe we all live life at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as mere consequence we can never feel merely content: we have to be unhappy, or ecstatically, head-over-heels happy, and those states are difficult to achieve within a stable, solid relationship.