Break-Ups

Face it, break-ups are hard.

When I broke up with my first boyfriend, consensus agreed that we were better off as friends, so we parted and bidded goodbye. It was an innocent and young relationship, we realized it was nothing more than excess hormones and perfect timing. [He was 21, lonely and in need for someone to talk at night, I was 17, lonely and in need for someone to talk to at night, we made the perfect match, or so we thought.] Of course, finally we found out that being together takes a lot more than just paying phone bills. It was probably the most civilized break-up anyone could ever have, yet it still felt...bad.

Relationships that followed afterwards were more complicated, and we parted in much less friendliness. I was the kind who could never stick around for too long, and break-ups were inevitable. Even when the former male-companions already meant no more to me than just symbols of comfort, it was still awful breaking up. And the truth is, they were something, and probably even everything, once upon a time.

It's the concept of being close to someone one day, and then suddenly nothing on the next. It's the transition, the shift, the change that everyone, including me, is still struggling to handle. Even when the feeling is no longer there, the sudden nonexistant presence of another human being could still very much leave you cold.

Getting together with someone doesn't mean it's a happy ending. Prince Phillip and Princess Aurora got together, the film may have stopped rolling, but if it were to continue, maybe they would have parted by now, because Prince Phillip cheated with the maid, or their communication broke down, or because Princess Aurora had to live somewhere far to entertain the animals and long distance just didn't work for them. Who knows?

What I'm saying is, breaking-up is just a process in life. Just like, birthdays and graduations. It's part of growing up because I learn that one knows a little more about herself after another scenario of failed relationship. And although it seems so hard at the time, it's not the end of the world. You'll realize that the sun still shines and everything. [in complete contrary of that old song – it's a depressing song, isn't it?]

Another problem about breaking-up is how blurry the nature of the relationship between two people becomes. Two people who were used to be so close, and then what? Are they still allowed to communicate? Even when the idea of going back to being just friends is so out-there [so out-there that it couldn't be happening in one's lifetime], but surely they still mean something to each other? Of course, in most cases we would only admit this in the comfort of a private diary, close friends, and random slurring over tequila. I guess that's what's really sad about it all. Sometimes it really has to be all-or-nothing.

But, we all move on. As cliche as it might sound, time does heal the wounded heart. Some of my girlfriends admitted to feeling suicidal after breaking-up with their boyfriends [the old song was very appropriate then], but given some time, now they're more than okay, ready to take another leap of faith. That's the thing, we should never be afraid to fall in love again.

I just broke up with my boyfriend recently, and I spent days swooning over the phone, hoping for a sign that perhaps I made a mistake, perhaps there was another way. It took me weeks to finally come in terms that, we have nothing to say to each other anymore. And it's sad, really sad.

“Embrace it, you need to hurt. But just know you're gonna come out the other end stronger,” a friend told me, and I hold his advice dearly. We are special, every one of us. We just need someone who knows that, who knows why we do the things we do. And obviously our exes couldn't. So leave it at that, don't loathe yourself.

So, take our time to be sad. Afterall, it is supposed to hurt, but after everything is said and done, we will be okay.