Welcome!: Weekends : Big Ball of Awesomeness!

Monday, 5 October 2009

Weekends : Big Ball of Awesomeness!

So I'm writing this at the library. Before you cast an impressed-glance at me, setting the record straight, no, I'm not studying and I'm not reading intelligent books. Not so impressed anymore, are you?

Well, I'm just fed up at being home so I went over here, simply because I like being in a library. It provides a real me-alone time, which otherwise I seldom have. Especially when you live with your sisters and cousin, not that I'm complaining. But still, sometimes you just wanna be alone, you know? And here, with the trickling water sound, the pure silence, and the endless choice of books, what more can you ask for?

Even though I'm just pretty much doing the same things I would do at home with a computer, (facebook? twitter? blogging?) still the ambience's all different. Anyway, don't blame me, I'm a geek.

So, I thought I'm just gonna write a bit about my weekend, which in short, is just a big pure ball of awesomeness. On Friday night, I met up with my high school friend who just moved in town to work for a couple glasses of Tiger. I met another friend after that for yet another couple glasses of Tiger, seriously, there's only so much beer you can take at one-go. That was slightly..excessive. But it was great, especially seeing an old high school friend whom I haven't seen in over four years.

The next day, I met up with another group of friends at the beach, and it's official! I wanna live by the sea! I totally love being near the water. Being at the beach itself was awesome, but catching up with friends was even better. We took loads of silly pictures and goofed around by playing frisbee and laughing at kids who got stuck in the middle of 'flying fox' ride. The weather was perfect, since it has been cloudy the whole day. It was cold and windy, but definitely better than scorching hot.

Towards late evening, we bid goodbye and my little sister and I went over to meet our older sis and cousin for sushi and tepanyakki dinner. Albeit tired from being outdoor the whole day, on our way home we still stopped by Chinese Garden to see the lantern-festival. The whole place was decorated by hundreds of colorful lanterns, and it was so crowded. I didn't know lantern festival is such a big deal, but hey, anything for anything worth celebrating.

On Sunday, all four of us ventured out to Bedok Reservoir to climb trees. Well, don't you know? Once every blue moon, we have desires to play Tarzan for a day. It's kinda our thing. We don't get enough actions in real life, I suppose. *chuckling* No, actually, my little sister and I were up for something new! My older sister and cousin have been Tarzans once before, so they're slightly more experienced up there in the trees.

Me? I just looked so awkward and out-of-place. It's not my habitat. But I tried, and I finished all obstacles! So I'm damn proud. Even though my whole body ached after that, I finally could scream that trademark-Tarzan's-yell with pride.

Auoooooauuuuauuuuauuu will never sound the same ever again.

Dinner at Bedok was awesome too. I found this really delicious chicken curry that's just super heavenly. It absolutely breaks my heart that I will have to go all the way cross-country to Bedok again just to have that curry.

I have loads of pictures from the weekend, and I'm gonna post them here in the next post!

I still need to write more! It's like, I'm losing all my creative juices these days. I just have a lot on my mind, it's hard to keep up the positivity and upbeat attitude all the time. Who wants to read about depressing stuffs, right?>But I miss all of you! =) Don't give up on me yet! And yeah, the drama-queen is back!

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Quotes

There's a hundred million different ways of writing, and it takes you a long time to sort through that stuff. And I think it takes anyone a long time to find a voice.

You must learn to take the good with the bad, the happy with the sad, love what you’ve got and remember what you had. Learn to forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change and things go wrong, but you just have to remember that life goes on.

The day before I’m supposed to be meeting Caroline for a drink, I develop all the textbook symptoms of a crush: nervous stomach, long periods spent daydreaming, an inability to remember what she looks like. I can bring back the dress and the boots, and I can see her bangs, but her face is a blank.

I don't know, I think that if I could just accept the fact that my life is supposed to be difficult. You know, that's what to be expected, then I might not get so pissed-off about it and I'll just be glad when something nice happens.

I can see now I never really committed to Laura. I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments.

There's a big fucking world out there. It's messy, and it's chaotic, and it's never, never ever the thing you'd expect. It is ok to be scared, but you cannot allow your fears to turn you into an asshole, not when it comes to the people that love you, the people that need you.

Maybe what I'm saying is, is the world might be evolving the way a person evolves. Right? Like, I mean, me for example. Am I getting worse? Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier, but I was, uh, whacked with insecurity, you know? Now I'm older and my problems are deeper, but I'm more equipped to handle them.

I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

A woman needs to be held, even, and science has shown this, if its with someone she doesn't care about. Protective hormones are released, and the amount of hormones released depends on the degree to which she is held. The first and best is the complete surround. He wraps you in both arms, whispers how beautiful you are. Second best is the 'arm around.' He is next to you but with one arm around you. Third is he's just next to you on his elbow, but he rests his hand on your stomach and looks at you. Fourth is you snuggling up to him with your head on his chest, while he looks away into space. But when the first best happens, you feel completely, wonderfully like a woman.

So, so what, so fuck off, go home, leave you alone? I'll tell you something Paul, there isn't anything that I've wanted for eighteen years, cause I was a kid eighteen years ago. And if I did still want the same things I'd think I'd gone wrong somewhere, because actually I don't want to marry David Cassidy, I don't want bigger tits, I don't want to do better on my marks. I've stopped worrying about that kind of thing and maybe you should try.

Well maybe there's a big bit of you that's gone missing somewhere, maybe everyone should want something they've always wanted.

Why is it that adults aren't supposed to go mad about anything? You gotta keep a lid on it. And if you don't then people are apparently entitled to say what they like. "You haven't grown up. You're a moron. Your conversation is trivial and boorish. You can't express your emotional needs. You can't relate to your children." And you die, lonely and miserable. But you know, what the hell, every cloud has a silver lining.

I just woke up one morning and didn't feel the same way. Where did it go? It was like there had been a lot of food on a plate in front of us, and we ate it all really quickly, and then there was nothing left. Maybe that's how couples stay together: they're not greedy. They know that what they have in front of them has to last a long time, so they kind of pick at it. I hope it's not like that, though. I hope that when people are happy together, it feels as though someone keeps piling seconds and thirds on their plates.

That is what I have learned: Sex is destructive. Love is nothing to be fooled with. I learned that I was dangerous, not to be trusted. I wondered if my parents were right, with all of their stiff lovelessness. Maybe they knew better. My parents don't dole out love for the deserving or the undeserving. I was learning that love could cost me.

You could say all you liked about reason and logic and common sense and imagination, but when the chips were down, the one skill you needed was the ability to think about absolutely nothing whatsoever.

There is a comfort in never making an effort, but it's a lonely comfort. What keeps you going is the knowledge that you're only playing with only four cards showing. But when you see other people succeeding with their mediocre hands, you have to make a decision. If you turn over that final card you're certain of victory, but it also means you have nothing in reserve.

I’d gone through life believing in the strength and competence of others; never in my own. Now, dazzled, I discovered that my capacities were real. It was like finding a fortune in the lining of an old coat.

Maybe we all live life at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as mere consequence we can never feel merely content: we have to be unhappy, or ecstatically, head-over-heels happy, and those states are difficult to achieve within a stable, solid relationship.