"Whenever I see people who can do so much better than me, I always feel..inferior, like I'm not good enough, I'm just never satisfied," he said, holding on to the nearest handle when the bus jerked slightly. We were on a bumpy ride home from a night out in the town, and I looked at him, exasperated.
It's because I know very much what he's capable of. And he has accomplished things I never thought he could, and if he's allowed to feel any pickle of human emotions, it should have been pride. It irked me that the one person who should be proud, wasn't. It's ridiculous how some people who really deserve to feel good after their hard work, just still manage to feel inadequate somehow, and those who spend their days just bumming around and talking without making any efforts, have the decency to boast and think they're smart. It's amazing how delusional some people are.
"You shouldn't be too hard on yourself," I told him. "Realize that there are things you ought to feel good about, but at the same time, never stop moving."
In my school years, whenever semesters ended and reports were collected, and my scores were impressive enough to put me on the top rank of the class, I always boasted. You could practically see me gloat. I went up to my mom and showed the report book to her, grinning from ear to ear like a madman, and demanded a raise in pocket money for performing excellently (in my own mind), and she would smile with the 'ah, look at you, you're so full of yourself' but-pleased-look and congratulate me for the good job I did, but she has always ended it with a reminder that I should never be satisfied, no matter how great I thought I did. She always managed to...make me feel like she was proud of me, but at the same time, still encouraged me to do better. I don't know how she did it. That, is a precious lesson.
It's true when people say that you're the hardest judge for yourself, and I can sympathize. The truth is, there are always gonna be people who do anything better than you, and if you spend your entire life measuring up to them, when will you ever stop to pat yourself on the back and say, "good job, me"?
In the broadest sense, we can never be satisfied if we know that there is something above what we’ve got. But it's a beautiful thing, not being perfect all the time, because there are imperfections, those call for needs to improve, to change, and to not just stop there.
Because there will always be sky above sky, we won't ever stop wanting, right? How scary it is when you don't want anything anymore? Feel good, but don't stop.
So he said, "I want to lose some weight," and I replied, "Good for you."
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