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Wednesday, 9 January 2008

Toshiba is the New Laptop

When you were told you could make any purchase in 15 minutes time, you would probably think of buying a new toothpaste, or stocking milk for home. Or, say you were to splurge a lot amount of money, you would say 'shut up you bloody nuisance! I need as much time in the world to decide which shoes to buy, it's afterall a 600 bucks worth of real money!' to anyone who kept telling you to hassle.

So what if I told you that I bought a new laptop today when the sun was still high on one-go under fifteen minutes of contemplating?

You probably would share my dear friend's reaction on this.

Me: I bought Toshiba hahaha. I feel so poor now haha.
Him: What? Why? When? Where? How? My gosh! Which model?! Tina! R u crazy? Faint..

I think the fainting part is so hilarious.

So, anyway. It's not like it's a spontaneous purchase, it's not like I was out there in the mall where laptops' exhibitions were taking place and suddenly I just got strucked by lightning and I thought to myself, "Gee, how nice it would be to own a brand new laptop" and five minutes later, walked out from the store and was at least 1000 bucks poorer.

At least I wasn't like that! I have been wanting a new laptop for a while cos my current one is below useable and sometimes it would just shut down on its own. Is it trying to go berserk and betray me?! I've been taking such good care of you and this is how you repay me, you ungrateful piece of gadget?! I might not scrub your screen everyday, I might not do some disk clean-up for years, I might not even provide you with anti-virus sometimes, but I do love you! I think of you every night before I go to sleep and I can't live a day without you! Your keypads might be rusty, some parts of your body might be missing, and your battery might not be inspirational for your kinds anytime soon, but I still constantly change your wallpaper and I always upgrade my pictures in you regularly. So there is no reason to throw temper tantrum on me, is there?

Unless, you are simply too old for me. Your many years of life experience just doesn't impress me anymore and the parts in you which I initially thought sexy just isn't any longer, but it's not your fault. It's just, your youth has already passed you by and that left me with no choice but to replace you with someone younger and newer. Please don't hold this against me. I promise I won't destroy you, I will just sell you. Some of your components might still be used to create another computer and isn't that just very beautiful? You will be regenerated, you will be united with nature. That is the greatest gift anyone can ever give because destroying you will be useless and is against the environment, and you know best that I am nothing but environmentally friendly.

OH MY GOD WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT???!!!! WHAT GIBBERISH HAVE I SAID???!!! FOCUS!!

Where was I? Ah yes, about the motives behind the purchase. Yes, it wasn't such an impulse purchase because it's laptop, not some cleaning-liquid to scrub your toilet bowl. But I thought I would need more time to decide and browse around to look for alternatives and options. I honestly haven't looked at anything quite yet. I just needed a new laptop but I haven't actually done anything on that behalf like any other normal human being would, such as 1)going to SimLim or Funan to check prices, 2)log in some websites to look for models and build some preferences, or at least I should have 3)call my dad and tell him that I'm going to buy a new laptop as in...today! Or 4)do anything at all! The fact that I could just go out there and go home with a brand new laptop which just took about 15 minutes to ask for enquiries, compare prices, compare models, decide and purchase is somewhat an achievement in itself. Or was I just crazy like my friend said?

No, I'd like to think it's deeply impressive. And bold. With just a side of crazy. A little bit.

I just think it would confuse me more if I look at more options in more places, don't you think? Besides, this one right here is great enough, and the price is just suitable. It's not like I need it to create a new rocket or something. I just need it for daily use, considering that I'm somewhat rather technology-challenged myself. If I were given the newest laptop with the most advanced features, I would still only use it for the Microsoft Office and MSN and look at a waste I'd be making. Ha!

It's Toshiba, by the way. And I wished it could come in white or red, but nope, it's standard boring black. Good thing it's glossy. It's great that it's glossy. Sorry, don't mean to insult you, my dear old laptop. But you ought to go to the left, to the left, or so Beyonce said.

Since it's Windows Vista, I ought to get some getting used to, but it's not that much different, really. And the RAM is so fast, it took me more than an hour just to copy the contents of my old laptop to a drive until I practically fell asleep waiting for it, and my sister had to wake me up, otherwise the damn thing would be running all night, but pasting it here to the new one is as fast as peeing itself.

Anyway, my damn camera is so failing me. Since Sis just bought a new phone herself, with a five-megapixels camera, that is, I'll ask her to take properly good picture of my new baby here, haha. 'TIl then!

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Quotes

There's a hundred million different ways of writing, and it takes you a long time to sort through that stuff. And I think it takes anyone a long time to find a voice.

You must learn to take the good with the bad, the happy with the sad, love what you’ve got and remember what you had. Learn to forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change and things go wrong, but you just have to remember that life goes on.

The day before I’m supposed to be meeting Caroline for a drink, I develop all the textbook symptoms of a crush: nervous stomach, long periods spent daydreaming, an inability to remember what she looks like. I can bring back the dress and the boots, and I can see her bangs, but her face is a blank.

I don't know, I think that if I could just accept the fact that my life is supposed to be difficult. You know, that's what to be expected, then I might not get so pissed-off about it and I'll just be glad when something nice happens.

I can see now I never really committed to Laura. I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments.

There's a big fucking world out there. It's messy, and it's chaotic, and it's never, never ever the thing you'd expect. It is ok to be scared, but you cannot allow your fears to turn you into an asshole, not when it comes to the people that love you, the people that need you.

Maybe what I'm saying is, is the world might be evolving the way a person evolves. Right? Like, I mean, me for example. Am I getting worse? Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier, but I was, uh, whacked with insecurity, you know? Now I'm older and my problems are deeper, but I'm more equipped to handle them.

I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

A woman needs to be held, even, and science has shown this, if its with someone she doesn't care about. Protective hormones are released, and the amount of hormones released depends on the degree to which she is held. The first and best is the complete surround. He wraps you in both arms, whispers how beautiful you are. Second best is the 'arm around.' He is next to you but with one arm around you. Third is he's just next to you on his elbow, but he rests his hand on your stomach and looks at you. Fourth is you snuggling up to him with your head on his chest, while he looks away into space. But when the first best happens, you feel completely, wonderfully like a woman.

So, so what, so fuck off, go home, leave you alone? I'll tell you something Paul, there isn't anything that I've wanted for eighteen years, cause I was a kid eighteen years ago. And if I did still want the same things I'd think I'd gone wrong somewhere, because actually I don't want to marry David Cassidy, I don't want bigger tits, I don't want to do better on my marks. I've stopped worrying about that kind of thing and maybe you should try.

Well maybe there's a big bit of you that's gone missing somewhere, maybe everyone should want something they've always wanted.

Why is it that adults aren't supposed to go mad about anything? You gotta keep a lid on it. And if you don't then people are apparently entitled to say what they like. "You haven't grown up. You're a moron. Your conversation is trivial and boorish. You can't express your emotional needs. You can't relate to your children." And you die, lonely and miserable. But you know, what the hell, every cloud has a silver lining.

I just woke up one morning and didn't feel the same way. Where did it go? It was like there had been a lot of food on a plate in front of us, and we ate it all really quickly, and then there was nothing left. Maybe that's how couples stay together: they're not greedy. They know that what they have in front of them has to last a long time, so they kind of pick at it. I hope it's not like that, though. I hope that when people are happy together, it feels as though someone keeps piling seconds and thirds on their plates.

That is what I have learned: Sex is destructive. Love is nothing to be fooled with. I learned that I was dangerous, not to be trusted. I wondered if my parents were right, with all of their stiff lovelessness. Maybe they knew better. My parents don't dole out love for the deserving or the undeserving. I was learning that love could cost me.

You could say all you liked about reason and logic and common sense and imagination, but when the chips were down, the one skill you needed was the ability to think about absolutely nothing whatsoever.

There is a comfort in never making an effort, but it's a lonely comfort. What keeps you going is the knowledge that you're only playing with only four cards showing. But when you see other people succeeding with their mediocre hands, you have to make a decision. If you turn over that final card you're certain of victory, but it also means you have nothing in reserve.

I’d gone through life believing in the strength and competence of others; never in my own. Now, dazzled, I discovered that my capacities were real. It was like finding a fortune in the lining of an old coat.

Maybe we all live life at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as mere consequence we can never feel merely content: we have to be unhappy, or ecstatically, head-over-heels happy, and those states are difficult to achieve within a stable, solid relationship.