Shots of Awe.

To be an adult is to figure out the parameters that allow you to be a kid again.

Always.

If you ever wake up, and think that no one needs you, I need you. 

If you ever wake up, and think that there's no love, I will always love you. 

If you ever wake up, and can't find your purpose, I will hold a candle and help you find it. 

If you ever wake up, and don't know who or why you are, I can tell you. 

If you ever wake up, and don't know why you bothered, I will remind you. Please remember me, and let me give you reasons.

The Tension Between Who You Are

You want to be so many things. I always thought you would settle down one day and be ok with just being who you are. And what kind of monster would I be, to ask you to want to be less? Maybe wanting to be so many things, is just who you are.

How little they think of you.

I’m reminded once again on why Before Sunrise franchise is one of my all-time beloved movies. The characters are as real as you and me, and importantly the dialogues really touch me in a way that very few movies can.

When a movie speaks to you on such a personal level, it’s really quite something else. Especially for a hopeless romantic like me who loves words and finds meaning in every little detail. There are so many quotes from the movie that I love so much, but in this instance I would like to share one quote that resonates well with me.

“You know what’s the worst thing about somebody breaking up with you? It’s when you remember how little you thought about the people you broke up with and you realize that is how little they’re thinking of you. You know, you’d like to think you’re both in all this pain but they’re just like “Hey, I’m glad you’re gone.” 

I think it doesn’t just apply to romantic relationship, but also to friendship. You would think that when two people fall apart, we both would suffer the loss equally. But no, that’s not the case.

Sometimes I value my friendship too much, or I put too much expectation to it, I’ll just end up getting disappointed because it turns out that the other person just doesn’t give a fuck.

But then when everything is said and done, and you’re left with the loss of friend.. and you find yourself missing them, and think to yourself that they must miss this friendship too.. well, guess what, they probably don’t.

It’s just like that dialogue from the movie. That’s how little they think of you. And it hurts, it does. But reality hurts, and I’d rather deal with reality, no matter how sucky, than live in daydream illusion that the other person cares.

Growing away

When I look at you, I can see the person you used to be drowning in the person you are. And it makes me nostalgic and sad because I know when you look at me, you must see the same thing.

How I took part (and finished) my very first marathon.. (ever)

Last Sunday, I took part in my very first marathon!

"Whaaaaat?" I can hear all of you screaming in disbelief.

"But.... it can't be! You are the laziest, most unfit person I know!" Yes, I can still hear that!

Honestly (and shamelessly), it's true. What do you expect from a girl whose favourite past-time is sleep, and favourite day is Sunday just because she can sleep some more?

But hey, this year is all about change, right?

And I'm at that point where I feel that things are going well for me. Having a change of job this year is a huge positive step, and I'm truly happier, more aggressive than ever to do things that are normally out of my comfort zone.

So when I came across Great Eastern Marathon and one of my colleagues persuaded me to take part, I was like "Oh yes baby! This is for the new and improved Tina!" and before I knew it, I've signed up for 10km.

I thought I would have trained for it, but I didn't. Oh wait, I did, once. I ran and walked mostly for about 6km, and the second training never happened because oh well, life happened.

*Dramatic pause*

Next thing I knew, I was sent to Jakarta for over a month, and the race was nearing, in fact it was just a week away when I finally remembered that I haven't been exercising at all!

But it was too late to back out and besides, in my mind I was like, "How bad can it be?" So being an overconfident person (overcompensating for the fact that I really am not fit at all), I went to the race with 0 training. It was the first time I put on my running shoes after probably 2 months. Ha!

Before the race, having serious "Wtf, what am I thinking?" moment.

But hey, the fact that I'm writing this, 2 days after the race, means that I am still alive! Yay! And I completed the race with flying colors! (I'm also the teacher who passes the flying color mark) And although now my whole body is sore, and I'm walking with a limp, I feel really happy and proud that I did it! I would never think that I would be able to run 10km in my current state.

Mind over matter, baby.

The race was a fun experience. There were tens of thousands of people participating, and it's indeed encouraging to have so many people running around you; you can't be the only one slacking, can you?

Tina, time to hide your true color. Act like you're so into running!  

But seriously, there were times I had to stop running and did a slow-jog or brisk-walk instead, but overall I think I did okay and I enjoyed it! It was fun coming to different checkpoints, each km brought a wide grin over to our faces, and really, when you were in the moment, you couldn't even have thought of quitting. The energy was awesome!

And look, before I knew it, I completed it! (Not really, actually I knew it very, very clear) 

So that's the story of how I managed to do my very first marathon. I even have the medal to prove it! :)

Hey, if a lazy Tina can run for 10km, millions of life's possibilities are now within reach!

Kids! Go out there and explore! Be a scientist! Go to space! Learn dothraki! Anything's possible!

Lessons.

In recent years, I have learnt to appreciate genuine friends as they truly are. When we were younger, having a lot of friends was everything, don't you remember at how we used to measure one's popularity by seeing how many friends they have on Facebook? How vain can we be?

I come to treasure a few gems in my life who are not just convenient friends, or accidental friends, or even fake and superficial ones; but real, sincere and caring friends whom I know I can always turn to in times of need.

They may not be someone whom you meet every day or even every other week. But I think that's how you really know.

So let's cheer to our real friends whom are unaffected by life's circumstances.

Adventures in Jakarta

So yeah, life happens.

Long story short, I've had the opportunity to work in Jakarta for a temporary basis and hey, I can bitch about it, or I can be positive and have fun while I'm at it!

My best friend got married too! Timing of all timing, it was a beautiful experience to be a part of it! I'm now back in Singapore, but I won't see the last of Jakarta. Bring me more good food and cheap massage!

What touches you lately?

Sometimes a song can touch your heartstring and make you feel all sorts of emotions, and when that happens, it's just beautiful. 

For me, any songs from Sam Smith just frikking do it. If you haven't heard his songs, you totally should stop reading this junk and quickly start looking him up on youtube, trust me. 

He reminds me of Adele - but just better. His vocal is incredible - he has such a range too and it is thick with emotions. I find myself being very sad sometimes when I hear his songs - but that exactly what his songs are about, so I think that's really powerful.

My favorite at the moment is his track's called "Leave Your Lover". It's a song about a man's desperate plea in loving someone and begging that person to leave their lover for him. It's honest, heartbreaking, and really beautiful. Other tracks worth mentioning are "Lay By Your Side", "Latch" and of course "Stay With Me", but I've listened to his album and all his songs are equally great and it's definitely one killer album you have to hear it for yourself.

What's NEW this month?

1. NEW nail colors!

The inspiration? Passion! Because red is striking and purple is elegant.. and glitters? Well, they are fun and sparkly, just like moi! (cough cough)

2. NEW hair color!

Earlier this month I finally dyed my hair lighter! A few years ago I decided to go black, but I think lighter color suits me better, so I went ash-copper brown. It's not terribly light, but bright enough that my curls looked better under the light and I love it!

3. NEW experience!

I had the opportunity to go to Kuala Lumpur for training in our KL office and it was awesome! It's always great experiencing another culture in different branch and just see how the team works and it's truly inspiring. It made me feel proud to be a part of this big family and I'm grateful to be able to play my part in spreading more love to singles out there!

4. NEW friends!

During my visit, I got to meet the KL team and they are so friendly and welcoming too! I think on normal circumstances, we don't really get the chance to meet them in person and during retreats, usually only the managers come around. So it's really great meeting everyone there and thank you for your 'northern' hospitality!

5. NEW motivation

Let's make it happen.

Toodles!

To Someone.

Dear You,

Glad to know you're doing well, thanks for reaching out and saying hello. I know it's been a while! And I know you're happy now, I hope you could look back and remember our memories in nothing but fondness too. That's all I want!

One of the most important lesson that I learnt from knowing you and having spent all the time that we have, is that it is okay to trust someone again. Never judge a book by its cover, never assume and lay judgment on people when you haven't made the effort to get to know them.

You were my wild card. I thought that you would be one way - but you proved to me otherwise. You were nice and caring and funny and truthful and gentle. Despite your sarcastic and nonchalant front, I think you are genuine and lovely and I feel lucky to have known you. 

So, whoever you are with now, I think she is lucky to have you and I know that you are truthful and loyal and caring to her too, if not more. Continue on being yourself and enjoying life and laughing your silly laughs and... keep on loving!

xx

Me

Colors!

Hope you week has been great! If not, check out my awesomely bright dress (which oddly looks so much like a cheongsam here!) When all else fails, look a brighter colors!

Quickie about the new Transformers movie!

So here are some of my thoughts after watching Transformers: Age of Extinctions:

1. Oh Michael Bay, you did it again!

2. Those scenes - panoramic view of a wide open space against the orange, sunset sky and killer soundtrack.. seen them in past Transformers movies, see it again here. I'm pleased to see those!

3. Mark Wahlberg was born for this role - he's just perfect in here!

4. Those Autobots! 

5. OMG, the cars!

6. Love, and I mean LOVE the slow-motion scenes during intense battle action! It's signature Transfomers too to capture the transforming action and fighting scenes in slow-mo! It's just soooo cool, I'm a complete sucker!

7. Oh, I wish the Dinobots had more scenes in the movie, because they are badass! 

8. Bumblebee is still so cute and endearing as ever.

9. Some parts in the middle are kinda draggy and the story isn't the best overall. 

10. But then again, I'm still thoroughly entertained by this movie! So much explosions, so much adrenaline, I expected nothing less!

Here is a picture of me being all fangirl in front of the 3D movie poster!

So my verdict? Well if you love Transformers for the same reason I do: for the action, you will definitely love this too! I'm not very familiar with the characters, so I can't really make any critics - you have to ask my boyfriend on that. And trust me, he has A LOT of comments about the loop holes in the movie, but if you ask me, I wasn't thinking of any loop holes because I was too busy being excited to see Optimus Prime save the day once more!

Where I want to be...

Clear, blue skies.

Soft romantic clouds.

A space full of people speaking in foreign language.

Colorful bricks.

Hair swept by the cool winds.

... That's where I want to be.