Loving You.

Take me away..

Looking at scenery pictures like this take my emotions to a place so beautiful that I want to stay and never come back. 

Wrong in Just The Right Way.

“We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.

Let our scars fall in love.

2015: Our Best Year Yet!

Hello everyone! It's been a long time, I apologize. The last few months of last year have been crazy, and I mean crazy! I spent most of my time in Jakarta, and had my birthday, Christmas and New Year in the superbly breathtaking New Zealand!

2014 has been an awesome year, but I know that 2015 is going to be my best year yet!

So here are my new year's resolutions that I wrote during a company retreat in December.

Personal Goal
1) To start at least 2 new investments by this year.
2) To go to Japan and Harry Potter theme park
3) To write more. Blog at least once a week.
4) To finish Game of Thrones books

Family Goal
1) To spend more time with Dad and my sisters, if possible have another family vacation

Career Goal
1) To get a promotion (Update: I did it! Achieved in January, which means, maybe I need to aim for another promotion by this year? OH YES!)
2) To have an independent branch in Jakarta

Health Goal
1) To take part in at least 2 marathons this year

It doesn't seem much but I learnt not to set unrealistic expectations that are just going to demotivate you, but then again, my goal this year importantly above all those things that I've listed above, is to be a better me, in everything.

Better person, better daughter and sister, better girlfriend, better co-worker, better friend, better learner.. A me who is going to make me proud. 

I am so happy at where I am in my life now, and can't be more grateful for the people around me who have given me so much love and support. Together let's make this year a smashing mondofabulous one!

I'm going to blog and post pictures from my New Zealand trip soon, so stay tuned! :)

Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.

The Tension Between Who You Are

You want to be so many things. I always thought you would settle down one day and be ok with just being who you are. And what kind of monster would I be, to ask you to want to be less? Maybe wanting to be so many things, is just who you are.

Growing away

When I look at you, I can see the person you used to be drowning in the person you are. And it makes me nostalgic and sad because I know when you look at me, you must see the same thing.

No one deserves secondhand love

Don’t settle for secondhand love, for the friend who was there all along. Don’t settle for the one who stuck around regardless just because you knew they would. Just because you knew they would answer your texts late at night, laugh at your jokes, and call you on your bullshit doesn’t mean you love them. Not in that way. Settling for secondhand love wouldn’t be fair to them.

Don’t settle for a friend because it’s convenient, or because you know it will make them happy. Don’t say your heart’s in it when it’s not. It would be cruel to give them false hope, to make them think you’ll change your mind. Logically, you could, because on paper, it makes sense. You make sense together. You could grow to love them the way they want you to, but chances are you won’t.

Emotions and logic aren’t the same thing, and they never could be. And they’ll still hope that things may be different, that you’ll feel differently about them in time, but you both know that isn’t going to happen. You know they deserve more than your resignation, and they’ll think that you shouldn’t have to settle for them, because friends don’t like to see their friends settle. And you’ll both know you agree.

There are always going to be those people we keep around because it’s convenient for us. Because it’s easy to put them on the back burner, to place them within arm’s reach, because we know they’ll stay there and be content with at least the hope that maybe one day, we can get a little closer, as long as they stick it out and pay their dues. There are always the people who we think would make a decent worst-case scenario, and who are reassured by the idea that even though they’re our safety net, we’re their first choice. There is comfort in ego and in knowing you’re wanted. There’s a freedom in the knowledge that somebody will still be there, even after all is said and done.

They will want to reassure you, to comfort you, to be there. But instead of settling for them, you should let them go.

They deserve more than being your runner-up, though it wasn’t your intention to treat them poorly. They deserve someone who doesn’t want to lose them, who will go to the ends of the earth to keep them in their lives. We all deserve someone who thinks we’re the first choice—not just that we’re the best possible option or that there was no other choice, but that any other option didn’t even stand a fighting chance. But when you let someone settle for you, when you wait until they’re ready and they’ve decided and everything is on their terms, there’s always the nagging suspicion that maybe you’re still not quite everything they want. They will resent you for that suspicion. It’s better to let them go.

And you will miss them, of course, just like they’ll miss you. You will mourn, but there’s nothing wrong in that. And they will still check their phone for your texts at all the usual times, and you’ll force yourself to delete their number, and they’ll steer clear of your neighborhood, but still, you’ll each find a way to heal. They will wonder how they could have changed themselves for you. But if you had validated them, if you had let them become something they’re not for your love and for choosing them conditionally, they would have resented you anyway. And if you choose who someone is trying to be over who they really are, you will resent yourself, too.

It will take time, and you will wonder if you did something wrong, if it really wouldn’t have been settling after all. But no one wants to come in second place to the idea of who they are.

Don’t settle for someone because it’s easy, because they’ve come ready-made, because they already love you. There’s more to life than what’s simple and convenient and available. There’s struggling, striving, and holding onto the silly, inane, naive hope that maybe something perfect exists after all. And when you find something perfect, if you find someone perfect, they won’t be an ideal, of course, because no one is without their flaws. But there is bound to be someone who will be right for you in that moment. They will be what you’re looking for.

Don’t settle for someone just because it’s time you made a choice, and they just happened to be there the whole time. A person’s heart isn’t a consolation prize. Don’t settle for them because they’ve been there all along. No one deserves secondhand love.

Flaws

Once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.

The Language Breaks.

You've got such beautiful words but none I can eat, none which block the rain, none which bandage my wounds, none which build a home. 

 Nothing beautiful, which did not work, ever became anything more than pretty.

- from The Fault in Our Stars

“Some people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them," I said. 

"Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway."

Inspiring

It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.

Loves

Don't we all need some love in our lives?

You gave me...

I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you.

I only wanted you.

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day

The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.

How do you know when you love someone?

I used to believe that love was a light switch. Something flicks on. You get an overwhelming sensation. It hits you like a bag of bricks. Or a strong arrow. When you know, you know. Right? Not so much. After 38 years and an expired marriage, I don’t see love that way anymore.  I’ve placed Cupid right next to Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

Love is a series of choices.  The first choice is based on many many factors, including chemistry, principle, logic, humor, intelligence, body type, where we are in our lives, what we want / need… the list goes on and on, and the weight of each factor varies depending on the individual.  Based on these factors, we either choose to begin the process to love or not. If we decide to enter this process, the action of loving can bring “light switch” moments. The way he looks at you. How hard she make you laugh. The notes he hides in your purse. The way she makes you feel when you don’t feel anything. But like an airplane flight, there is turbulence. The fights. The disagreements. The little things that bother you. His socks. Her shopping. You start wondering if you’ve made the right choice. Once you are in doubt, you have to make another choice. To continue to fly with this person or jump out of the plane. This choice is based on a thousand other factors, again depending on the individual and where they are in their journey.

If you decide to jump, the scary free fall will either make you stronger (grow) or miserable (depressed). But sooner or later, you’ll find yourself back at the airport waiting to board another plane. Then you hit turbulence. Or maybe there is no turbulence. Maybe you’ve changed your mind about the destination.  Either way, another choice. Fly or jump?

Love is making a choice every single day, to either love or not love.  That’s it.  It’s that simple.  Either to continue the process or not. We fall in and out of love.  Even in relationships, especially in relationships.  This doesn’t mean we don’t love the person.  It means we are left with a choice.  There is a difference between feeling love for someone (caring about a person), and loving someone (choosing to love that person).  You may have love for someone forever.  But that doesn’t mean you choose to love that person forever.  The choice to love is not a feeling, it is an action.  That is why it is so difficult.  It requires you to do something and I’m not just talking about buying flowers.  It might mean putting your wants aside.  Also, like chemistry, the ability to love is not a constant. It is a variable. It fluctuates, depending on where you’re at in your life and what you’re struggling with. Sometimes it is easy to love. Sometimes it is extremely difficult. But at the end of the day, it’s always a choice.

Although love varies, it also deepens. This means the longer you stay on that flight and embark on the journey together, the more fruit the process will bare. Your investment pays off. Your choices become easier. You not only become stronger as a couple, but also as individuals, assuming the love process is healthy – which means you guys are both doing work. The choice to love creates opportunity to hit notes in life that you could never hit alone and THIS is what makes your choice worth it.

So how do you know if it’s love? That is not the question to ask. The question is do you choose to love this person or not? Right now. Not tomorrow. Today. Make a choice. Yes or no. If the answer is yes, love as hard as you can. Love with everything you’ve got (your capacity right now at this point in your life). If the answer is no, promise me one thing.

Let the fall make you stronger.

A Friend.

The most memorable people in life will be the friends who loved you even when you weren't very lovable.

Sibohan Harrity, ‘Love Poem’

In a month’s time I may feel differently,
But at this moment I am prepared to swear
That I would like nothing better than to spend
The rest of my life picking the fallen hairs from your shoulders.
I would grow out my fingernails just for that purpose.
I would give up the ocean for the mud puddles of your eyes.
We could move to South Dakota
And howl among the tornadoes
And stomp across the prairies
And fall asleep in each other’s arms
As sweat pools in the crevices of our elbows
And crop-dusters drone overhead.

Quote of the day.

Sometimes, all it takes is someone who believes in you.