Welcome!: The good things (and everything else) that happened to me recently

Thursday 23 July 2009

The good things (and everything else) that happened to me recently

The amazing cookies and cream milkshake at Cafe Galilee that has become a solace in my day-to-day routine. What's great about it, is that it's there all the time, always satisfying, and requires no effort on your part whatsoever to enjoy it, contrary to other things in life. Now every morning, as I sit in the library writing chinese characters (and attempting not to slaughter it at the same time), this milkshake is what keeps me going. Seems to me that this might be the most altruistic thing in life.

As a result of this, I'm now relatively well-known in the cafe as the 'cookies and cream gal'. This would be a great fact if, I'm given discount every now and then, for instance. But despite my continuous generousity in keeping the sales going, the only recognition I'm getting from these friendly waitresses is a question whether my eyes are real.

I finally caught up with a dear friend of mine whom I haven't seen in weeks, and I enjoyed our dinner tremendously. It involved fried calamari, fish and chips and catch of the day in peri-peri sauce and ridiculous amount of delicious garlic. The garlic itself might have sounded unappetizing, but let me tell you that the garlic is simply magic. It's like the sizzle that makes Robert Pattinson so sexy, if you get what I mean.

I got a free haircut a few days ago. All thanks to this really nice auntie who did my hair and insisted that she would waive my fee because I'm simply too beautiful. No, she didn't really say that. Actually, I've been a regular in the salon (maybe the only one), so perhaps she just wanted to show a token of appreciation. It wasn't an appreciation more than it was a threat, or a bribe to lure me come back and spend a ridiculous amount of money next time. It worked. I was so touched by her generousity that I almost gave her the money anyway, and when I was outside, I felt like a child having just stolen a pen from a store.

I'm making progress on my chinese class and both my teachers flattered me for being a 'fast learner'. I was so smug that I almost blurted, “Tell me something I haven't known.” But after that, I made a fool out of myself by saying 'women' out loud, when it's supposed to be 'wo men'. “This is chinese, not english!” my teacher said in exasperation.

I completed my yoga 10-weeks yoga program and now I'm as flexible as Mr. Fantastic. Maybe.

I've been reading good books and I found this to be very pleasurable. I finished Ryu Murakami's '69' in one and a half day and I'm currently hooked on Curtis Sittenfeld. I don't know if it's just me, but I feel so happy being engrossed in a good read, and although I may not get particularly smarter by reading endless amount of fiction, I think the experience of seeing the world from the perspective of different characters, and understanding them, is very exciting.

Overall, it's been a good week! I'm sorry for not updating and writing more often, but blogger is acting up. Actually, that's not all. I have been waiting for a spectacular experience I can share before writing again, but it's like waiting for a rocket to come. If I wait 'til a spectacular incident happens, you will have been over forty. This blog will have been moul-dy. They will have probably invented flying cars. Okay, I get the picture.

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Quotes

There's a hundred million different ways of writing, and it takes you a long time to sort through that stuff. And I think it takes anyone a long time to find a voice.

You must learn to take the good with the bad, the happy with the sad, love what you’ve got and remember what you had. Learn to forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change and things go wrong, but you just have to remember that life goes on.

The day before I’m supposed to be meeting Caroline for a drink, I develop all the textbook symptoms of a crush: nervous stomach, long periods spent daydreaming, an inability to remember what she looks like. I can bring back the dress and the boots, and I can see her bangs, but her face is a blank.

I don't know, I think that if I could just accept the fact that my life is supposed to be difficult. You know, that's what to be expected, then I might not get so pissed-off about it and I'll just be glad when something nice happens.

I can see now I never really committed to Laura. I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments.

There's a big fucking world out there. It's messy, and it's chaotic, and it's never, never ever the thing you'd expect. It is ok to be scared, but you cannot allow your fears to turn you into an asshole, not when it comes to the people that love you, the people that need you.

Maybe what I'm saying is, is the world might be evolving the way a person evolves. Right? Like, I mean, me for example. Am I getting worse? Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier, but I was, uh, whacked with insecurity, you know? Now I'm older and my problems are deeper, but I'm more equipped to handle them.

I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

A woman needs to be held, even, and science has shown this, if its with someone she doesn't care about. Protective hormones are released, and the amount of hormones released depends on the degree to which she is held. The first and best is the complete surround. He wraps you in both arms, whispers how beautiful you are. Second best is the 'arm around.' He is next to you but with one arm around you. Third is he's just next to you on his elbow, but he rests his hand on your stomach and looks at you. Fourth is you snuggling up to him with your head on his chest, while he looks away into space. But when the first best happens, you feel completely, wonderfully like a woman.

So, so what, so fuck off, go home, leave you alone? I'll tell you something Paul, there isn't anything that I've wanted for eighteen years, cause I was a kid eighteen years ago. And if I did still want the same things I'd think I'd gone wrong somewhere, because actually I don't want to marry David Cassidy, I don't want bigger tits, I don't want to do better on my marks. I've stopped worrying about that kind of thing and maybe you should try.

Well maybe there's a big bit of you that's gone missing somewhere, maybe everyone should want something they've always wanted.

Why is it that adults aren't supposed to go mad about anything? You gotta keep a lid on it. And if you don't then people are apparently entitled to say what they like. "You haven't grown up. You're a moron. Your conversation is trivial and boorish. You can't express your emotional needs. You can't relate to your children." And you die, lonely and miserable. But you know, what the hell, every cloud has a silver lining.

I just woke up one morning and didn't feel the same way. Where did it go? It was like there had been a lot of food on a plate in front of us, and we ate it all really quickly, and then there was nothing left. Maybe that's how couples stay together: they're not greedy. They know that what they have in front of them has to last a long time, so they kind of pick at it. I hope it's not like that, though. I hope that when people are happy together, it feels as though someone keeps piling seconds and thirds on their plates.

That is what I have learned: Sex is destructive. Love is nothing to be fooled with. I learned that I was dangerous, not to be trusted. I wondered if my parents were right, with all of their stiff lovelessness. Maybe they knew better. My parents don't dole out love for the deserving or the undeserving. I was learning that love could cost me.

You could say all you liked about reason and logic and common sense and imagination, but when the chips were down, the one skill you needed was the ability to think about absolutely nothing whatsoever.

There is a comfort in never making an effort, but it's a lonely comfort. What keeps you going is the knowledge that you're only playing with only four cards showing. But when you see other people succeeding with their mediocre hands, you have to make a decision. If you turn over that final card you're certain of victory, but it also means you have nothing in reserve.

I’d gone through life believing in the strength and competence of others; never in my own. Now, dazzled, I discovered that my capacities were real. It was like finding a fortune in the lining of an old coat.

Maybe we all live life at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as mere consequence we can never feel merely content: we have to be unhappy, or ecstatically, head-over-heels happy, and those states are difficult to achieve within a stable, solid relationship.