Wednesday, 9 December 2009

Planning the resolution

Usually at this time of year, I'll have already started making my new year's resolution. Okay, at least, given it a go. It may sound a little cheesy, but I really think it's good to kinda look back and evaluate what you've done, people you've met, places you've been, and issues you've overcome. You know, to just reflect on the whole thing.

I did so for the past few years, and it's nice to have a set of fresh new goals to achieve for the upcoming year, you know?

It's rather hard this year because, I don't know, I don't think I've accomplished anything. Well, aside from the new degree diploma that I just got. Yeah sure, I'm a graduate, yeah, I have a diploma to prove it. Somehow it doesn't make me jump for joy.

People are always the hardest on themselves, I guess. It's like, you know, there's this saying "It's funny how you can always tell when a boy like someone else, but can never tell if he likes you." And I think it's true. Somehow we can't be objective when it comes to ourselves. I scold my friend when he's being too hard on himself, and I have a feeling I do the same thing to myself.

That's why I can't be truly excited about this year, about starting a new one. Usually I can say, 'okay, here's what I did right, and what I did wrong, and well, I'm learning from these mistakes and now we can move on.' But, what have I done for the past months? It's depressing, I know.

Still, I keep reminding myself to remain positive and hopeful. And if my experience could teach me anything, is that, no one should stop trying after a few bumps on the road. And I believe that the best is yet to come, that there have been many other people before me who persevered and succeeded.

Maybe me being hard on myself is just a defense mechanism so I'm never satisfied with what I've done, and therefore kept moving forward.

I'm not too happy about this year, and there are many things I wish I have done differently, but I don't know, maybe that can be part of the mistakes I could learn from. Well, either way, I'm still gonna make that new year's evaluation and resolution. We'll see how that goes.

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