Welcome!: January 2015

Sunday, 18 January 2015

Boyhood

I scream in delight when I heard about this movie. It's no surprise that I'm a huge, huge fan of Richard Linklater and the "Before" trilogy; in fact they are my most favourite movies of all time.

I remember being younger and so in love with Before Sunrise and Before Sunset that I had to make sure I made the guys I was currently dating watch (and love) them too. Somehow I wanted them to share the same deep emotional thoughts and wavelength that made me love these movies so much.

(No wonder those relationship never lasted. Ha!)

The genre is so unique; it's whether you love it, or you hate it. You either would fall deeply in love with it (like me), or find it super boring and when you just don't appreciate this type of deep conversation and relate able characters and pure emotions without exaggerating, special effects, all those Hollywood blah. My friend J is one of them.

In fact, now he admitted of finding it so boring that he almost fell to his death while watching it, but maintained his composure because ~~I threatened him~~ he wanted to impress me (so he said now). I probably had scarred him for life.

Anyway, I'm getting off track now. Let's get back to the point: Boyhood. Yes, so this is Richard Linklater's new movie and if you have been living in cave, I'm sure you've heard a huge buzz around; this being the only movie who took a spam of 12 years to film. It has also won a lot of awards (Golden Globes recently) and nominated for Oscars for more, including Best Picture and Best Director!

I missed seeing it in the cinema here, but I got lucky because the film was on the in-flight entertainment on my flight to Brisbane en route to New Zealand! So I spent almost 3 hours just indulging in this cinematic pleasure that brought back so much feelings and happiness (really similar feelings I have whenever I watch Before trilogy.)

My quickie review? It's an honest, real representation of a boy growing up in a family when like, all families, it's not always paradise. They overcome struggles and tears (divorce, alcoholic abusive dad, bullying at school, etc) but importantly also share the good times and, more importantly, how they stay together as a family despite their shortcomings.

I love, love, Patricia Arquette and Ethan Hawke in this. They make it flawlessly real and I can really feel Patricia's character's struggles being a single mom and doing the things she does. I love her! And as for Ethan Hawke, he's brilliant as expected, not that I ever doubted it.

Some of my favourite conversation from the movie:

Mason: Dad, there's no real magic in the world, right?
Dad: What do you mean?
Mason: You know, like elves and stuff. People just made that up.
Dad: Oh, I don't know. I mean, what makes you think that elves are any more magical than something like a whale? You know what I mean? What if I told you a story about how underneath the ocean, there was this giant sea mammal that used sonar and sang songs and it was so big that its heart was the size of a car and you could crawl through the arteries? I mean, you'd think that was pretty magical, right?

Mom: [Mason is leaving for college] This is the worst day of my life.
Mason: What are you talking about?
Mom: [Starts crying] I knew this day was coming. I just... I didn't know you were going to be so fucking happy to be leaving.
Mason: I mean it's not that I'm that happy... what do you expect?
Mom: You know what I'm realising? My life is just going to go. Like that. This series of milestones. Getting married. Having kids. Getting divorced. The time that we thought you were dyslexic. When I taught you how to ride a bike. Getting divorced... again. Getting my masters degree. Finally getting the job I wanted. Sending Samantha off to college. Sending you off to college. You know what's next? Huh? It's my fucking funeral! Just go, and leave my picture!
Mason: Aren't you jumping ahead by, like, 40 years or something?
Mom: I just thought there would be more..

The pace of the movie is slow; I found myself enjoying the first part of the film more than the last half, but overall I really enjoyed this journey. It's amazing seeing Mason (the main boy's character) grow up and see how he transforms to a young man and I think that's what happens to us: we get confused, distracted, frustrated sometimes at our lives. We act out, rebel as a teenager, but his mom is such a strong figure in his life that no matter what live throws at him, I feel that his mom can always keep him grounded.

You care so much about this family because you literally grow up with them. And I think this is the point of this crazy idea of shooting over the spam of 12 years. Anybody who watches it would relate so much to this person and this family.

Overall, I would recommend everyone to watch this! There are a lot of things I love about this film, and I found myself smiling and crying with them, and I think that says a lot when a film can make you feel that way.

Friday, 16 January 2015

Wrong in Just The Right Way.

“We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.

Let our scars fall in love.

Nostalgic..

I still feel like half my soul is left in New Zealand! Although I've just been back for 2 weeks, my travel bug is itching again and I found myself looking at travel packages to Hong Kong! (I think I really have a problem.)

Then again, work has been crazy and coming at me at full force. I know I said that this year will be the greatest year yet, but man, I'm going to have to earn every bit of that dollar. Ha! Okay, I'm supposed to blog about my New Zealand adventure, but I don't even know where to start.

Should I start at how terribly sick I got on the first day we reached Christchurch? Or maybe I should start describing how amazing and gorgeous New Zealand landscape and view is, and how I immediately got depressed that I probably wouldn't see that kind of view ever again. Or hey, maybe I can start writing about that breathtaking stargazing tour we had at Lake Tekapo, seeing Jupiter and the milky way and the most beautiful night sky full of stars that I have ever seen in one lifetime. Or the glow worm caves, or the zipline adventure in Queenstown, or the out-of-this-world Mount Cook and the glaciers at Franz Josef, or the horse riding journey along the lakes and mountains, feeling like Arwen in Lord of The Rings.. and I could go on forever.

But the sad thing is that nothing I would say could do any of it justice. Where's the blue lake and green mountains and bright blue sky?

Brb while I sob myself to sleep, dreaming of the gorgeous view of New Zealand..

Sunday, 11 January 2015

It's a Hair-y Thing.

I suppose this year will be a year of change for me too!

If I can be vain for a little while here, (deal with it, this is my blog!) my hair looks like it's the longest it has ever been, and I'm still deciding how to feel about that.

Hm, I've always thought having long hair is super troublesome, especially since I would need more time to wash and dry my hair in the morning (gawd that 5 minutes of extra sleep makes a LOT of difference!) Before I had it permed, my hair was this big ball of mess. Naturally thick, but neither straight nor wavy, it was a disaster. Everyday I would wash, dry and style it so that it wouldn't look like I just came straight from the cave with my roomate, Caesar the Ape.

But, coming back to now, I'm pretty happy with my hair because lazy me doesn't have to do much than just to dry it after showering. And having a long hair somehow makes me feel more.. feminine. Yes okay that may sound stupid, but that's the truth! And, my face looks less chubby. (What's new?)

But yeah, it's getting long.. and now the question is, what should I do?

Before I knew it, I had dialled my hairdresser's number and made an appointment for tomorrow. I guess we'll see what happens. (Maybe I would be tickled with that impulsive bug and decide to chop it all off..)

2015: Our Best Year Yet!

Hello everyone! It's been a long time, I apologize. The last few months of last year have been crazy, and I mean crazy! I spent most of my time in Jakarta, and had my birthday, Christmas and New Year in the superbly breathtaking New Zealand!

2014 has been an awesome year, but I know that 2015 is going to be my best year yet!

So here are my new year's resolutions that I wrote during a company retreat in December.

Personal Goal
1) To start at least 2 new investments by this year.
2) To go to Japan and Harry Potter theme park
3) To write more. Blog at least once a week.
4) To finish Game of Thrones books

Family Goal
1) To spend more time with Dad and my sisters, if possible have another family vacation

Career Goal
1) To get a promotion (Update: I did it! Achieved in January, which means, maybe I need to aim for another promotion by this year? OH YES!)
2) To have an independent branch in Jakarta

Health Goal
1) To take part in at least 2 marathons this year

It doesn't seem much but I learnt not to set unrealistic expectations that are just going to demotivate you, but then again, my goal this year importantly above all those things that I've listed above, is to be a better me, in everything.

Better person, better daughter and sister, better girlfriend, better co-worker, better friend, better learner.. A me who is going to make me proud.

I am so happy at where I am in my life now, and can't be more grateful for the people around me who have given me so much love and support. Together let's make this year a smashing mondofabulous one!

I'm going to blog and post pictures from my New Zealand trip soon, so stay tuned! :)

Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.

When sadness was the sea, you were the one that taught me to swim.

Everything's complicated, even those things that seem flat in their bleakness or sadness.

You can never replace anyone because everyone is made up of such beautiful specific details.

I think when you get to the point where you don't need to be in love, then you could be in love. You have to just be OK with yourself-and that's a long process.

Words and hearts should be handled with care.. for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest thing to repair.

It seems to me now that the plain state of being human is dramatic enough for anyone; you don't need to be a heroin addict or a performance poet to experience extremity. You just have to love someone.

It's just that I don't want to be somebody's crush. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don't want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it too.

The best and most beautiful things in life cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.

Quotes

There's a hundred million different ways of writing, and it takes you a long time to sort through that stuff. And I think it takes anyone a long time to find a voice.

You must learn to take the good with the bad, the happy with the sad, love what you’ve got and remember what you had. Learn to forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change and things go wrong, but you just have to remember that life goes on.

The day before I’m supposed to be meeting Caroline for a drink, I develop all the textbook symptoms of a crush: nervous stomach, long periods spent daydreaming, an inability to remember what she looks like. I can bring back the dress and the boots, and I can see her bangs, but her face is a blank.

I don't know, I think that if I could just accept the fact that my life is supposed to be difficult. You know, that's what to be expected, then I might not get so pissed-off about it and I'll just be glad when something nice happens.

I can see now I never really committed to Laura. I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments.

There's a big fucking world out there. It's messy, and it's chaotic, and it's never, never ever the thing you'd expect. It is ok to be scared, but you cannot allow your fears to turn you into an asshole, not when it comes to the people that love you, the people that need you.

Maybe what I'm saying is, is the world might be evolving the way a person evolves. Right? Like, I mean, me for example. Am I getting worse? Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier, but I was, uh, whacked with insecurity, you know? Now I'm older and my problems are deeper, but I'm more equipped to handle them.

I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

A woman needs to be held, even, and science has shown this, if its with someone she doesn't care about. Protective hormones are released, and the amount of hormones released depends on the degree to which she is held. The first and best is the complete surround. He wraps you in both arms, whispers how beautiful you are. Second best is the 'arm around.' He is next to you but with one arm around you. Third is he's just next to you on his elbow, but he rests his hand on your stomach and looks at you. Fourth is you snuggling up to him with your head on his chest, while he looks away into space. But when the first best happens, you feel completely, wonderfully like a woman.

So, so what, so fuck off, go home, leave you alone? I'll tell you something Paul, there isn't anything that I've wanted for eighteen years, cause I was a kid eighteen years ago. And if I did still want the same things I'd think I'd gone wrong somewhere, because actually I don't want to marry David Cassidy, I don't want bigger tits, I don't want to do better on my marks. I've stopped worrying about that kind of thing and maybe you should try.

Well maybe there's a big bit of you that's gone missing somewhere, maybe everyone should want something they've always wanted.

Why is it that adults aren't supposed to go mad about anything? You gotta keep a lid on it. And if you don't then people are apparently entitled to say what they like. "You haven't grown up. You're a moron. Your conversation is trivial and boorish. You can't express your emotional needs. You can't relate to your children." And you die, lonely and miserable. But you know, what the hell, every cloud has a silver lining.

I just woke up one morning and didn't feel the same way. Where did it go? It was like there had been a lot of food on a plate in front of us, and we ate it all really quickly, and then there was nothing left. Maybe that's how couples stay together: they're not greedy. They know that what they have in front of them has to last a long time, so they kind of pick at it. I hope it's not like that, though. I hope that when people are happy together, it feels as though someone keeps piling seconds and thirds on their plates.

That is what I have learned: Sex is destructive. Love is nothing to be fooled with. I learned that I was dangerous, not to be trusted. I wondered if my parents were right, with all of their stiff lovelessness. Maybe they knew better. My parents don't dole out love for the deserving or the undeserving. I was learning that love could cost me.

You could say all you liked about reason and logic and common sense and imagination, but when the chips were down, the one skill you needed was the ability to think about absolutely nothing whatsoever.

There is a comfort in never making an effort, but it's a lonely comfort. What keeps you going is the knowledge that you're only playing with only four cards showing. But when you see other people succeeding with their mediocre hands, you have to make a decision. If you turn over that final card you're certain of victory, but it also means you have nothing in reserve.

I’d gone through life believing in the strength and competence of others; never in my own. Now, dazzled, I discovered that my capacities were real. It was like finding a fortune in the lining of an old coat.

Maybe we all live life at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as mere consequence we can never feel merely content: we have to be unhappy, or ecstatically, head-over-heels happy, and those states are difficult to achieve within a stable, solid relationship.