Friday, 14 August 2009

Stuck and A Plan in Motion

Just as you go through phrases in life, sometimes I find myself 'stuck'. No, I'm not talking about anything heavy here. Please, I'm having too much of a blonde moment right now to be worrying about my uncertain and bleak future, blah blah blah.

I'm referring to my absence in writing. Hey, there's a thing called 'writer's block' for a reason, isn't there? My creativity is scarce like a drop of water in the desert. Let alone composing a barely readable post, I can't even make a decent structured sentence without hurting my head. Something is obviously wrong, but I think to myself that I might easily just be having one of those rough patches in one's unprofessional credential.

Gimme a break.

Is it possible to suddenly run out of ideas? It is, right? Afterall, I've spent so much time in the past writing bollocks out of nothing. There's a chance I simply have just exhausted all my life's worth of words and opinion. Well, at least for the time being that seems to be the case. (Because otherwise, it's too grim of a reality to imagine. My look is just what I have left after I win people over with my personality.)

I'm fairly certain it will eventually come back to me, out of the blue and unexpectedly. There's a phrase about that, right? That, um, things work out in the most unexpected ways?

Ah, well, I'm just trying to console myself, I guess. And apparently, failing miserably too.

But, I'm taking preventive steps! Well, not necessarily 'preventive', perhaps 'recovery' is a better word. Yes, I'm taking recovery steps to regain my inspiration back. My creativity juice, my chi, my center in life!

I thought, if I could do something out of the ordinary, perhaps that would make a difference. Maybe to avoid being stuck, I should just go in a completely different direction, so I'll always venturing out to new territories. No way I can get stuck there, right?

After I proudly came up with this game plan, I started thinking about, well, the new things I should try doing. Only then did I realize that this idea only works well in theory, and once again, well, remember the blonde moment I was talking about earlier? Yeah, having a major one at the moment.

I was intending to take drastic measures. But within reason, I certainly can't help to find the cure for cancer, or lead the blind, can I?

Left out with nothing much after crossing those two off my list, I realized too that I probably won't be able to learn korean, make pottery, or do rock climbing in foreseeable future.

Anyway, maybe I should start with baby steps. Aim high, shoot low. (Heck, I don't even know what that means to this day.) Make a change within myself, I mean. And what's one thing I've always wanted to change about myself, but never been able to? (due to serious lack of motivation, determination. In short, pure and simply laziness.)


(Not 'stop talking', 'stop writing gibberish' or 'stop partying'. Sorry.)

Yes, working out. 'Working out' and I haven't exactly been friends. We were introduced one time, and we didn't hit it off at all. We had nothing in common, and we didn't talk for the rest of the semester.

Maybe it's time to make amends with this fella. See if we can be good acquaintances at the very least.

Thus, with this new plan in motion, I just came back from a swim, which in itself is a pretty unlikely of me to do at 8 o'clock at night when I normally would have been laying in the couch, munching potato chips.

And also, that's why I went back and forth to the video store a few days ago on foot, which is unlikely too, and I actually enjoyed it. Although, I had a big dinner afterwards. Not that it's the point.

That's also why I planned to do a little hiking this weekend, which is yet to happen, I know, so there's a chance I might back out of it. But fingers crossed I won't! See, I'm taking steps to recovery.

I'm speaking as if I'm a mental patient in a clinic who needs to ehm, recover in quotation mark. No! All I want is to get my inspiration back. (I don't know what's the connection between those two, but let's just say there is one. I'm forcing it.) Afterall, if yoga is indeed relaxing and can help you to reduce stress, then why wouldn't it work in any other ways, right?

Swim and you'll be inspired! Jog and voila! You study better! Etc, etc, etc.

The things I do to be able to write again...Now that's the spirit, my friend! See, even writing about wanting to work out just so I could write again, already helped me to write this entry about that very topic, eh, now I'm confused.

Ah! Better end this now.

I should start working out before I turn completely into someone with no opinion and absolutely nothing interesting to say.

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