The Story of The Eye

I'm sorry for being tad dramatic in the previous entry. I thought I agreed to leave the emotional baggage as far away as possible in here? This is just a provider for my bimbiotic side, isn't it? So why don't you..forget what I've written? It doesn't matter, it won't affect you anyway.

So. Today is a shitty, shitty day.

My eyes are blotchy red. Dunno why. Actually since yesterday morning. I woke up, looked at myself in the mirror and whoa there! Felt like I was staring at some scary vampire. My right eye, yes, has gone berserk. Red, I mean. It didn't hurt or something. In fact, it felt nothing, which made me feel even more annoyed.

I mean, red eye isn't like some pimple you can cover with concealer. So the eye is like mocking me, "Yeeee! I'm red! But there's nothing you can do about it! I'm red!"

I was actually contemplating not to go out, cos I figured if I go out, the chance of the eye getting even redder is higher, well, because of those dust and smoke and dirty air out there. But I decided to shrug it off, I had a feeling my friend wouldn't be quite symphathetic reading my text, "Yo. Can't go out. Sorry. My eye's acting up. It's...err, red." Nope, didn't think so. Especially when she 1)was already in Starbucks, 2)waiting for me, and 3)alone.

And 'sides, I kinda hoped that it would get better on itself. You know, probably, it just needs some air. Orchard air. A girl could hope.

So I went out. And didn't really think about the eye until after the time we all tried on clothes on Zara. Cos only then that I looked in the mirror and saw that it hasn't gotten any better. Oh, damn.

..that didn't stop me from snapping pictures, though.



The jacket was fabulous. Gawd, one day I will afford to buy it. I will!

After playing some catch-up, shoppings, eating, and lots of gossiping, the eye went back home and got a night rest. I wake up in the middle of the dawn, unable to sleep. And so I just lied there, listening to some slow music from my mp3 and finally fell back to sleep. (I'm in love with Gary Barlow's 'For All That You Want' now)

I don't really wanna talk bout this morning, cos it's easily the reason why this day sucks big time. And the cause of my emotional sadness.

But what's tad more irritating was that the eye hasn't recovered yet! No matter how galons of eyedrops I have put in use!

It might be..just the time to change my lens, so I headed out to buy a new one. Green ones this time. Long story short, here I am, writing this with my geeky glasses(cos the eye needs some quality time alone from the lens). It's looking better, although still a bit red. Mistery of mistery, I don't even know why it got red in the first place.

I'm soooo getting old, my eye can't even handle the pressure well enough!

Well, they say third time is the charm. So hopefully, by the third day tomorrow, the eye's getting all twinkly and gorgeous again.

Loss

I've never experienced loss before. I don't know if that means I've lead a protected, happy, or even, lucky life. I've been so shielded from...well, death. And..somehow, stories about loss has always been..surreal to me, cos I couldn't relate to it. I might be naive, but I've always..allowed myself to think that everything will stay in place, that everyone I know now, will still be around when I get hitched in Himalaya mountain or wherever, that they will still be there whataver happens, no matter how old they are, no matter how wrinkled they become,..they will be healthy, and well,..around.

But no. It hit me that..that just isn't possible. It hit me. Just like something has suddenly awaken me from this sleep, slapped me from this unreasonable fantasy. It forces me to face the reality. Not to take anything from granted, not to waste moments with unnecessary problems, because nothing will ever stay the same forever.

I didn't cry. It still feels surreal. Like everything is just a bad dream. It hasn't sunk in yet. Everything happened so suddenly, and so far away that..I still can't believe it. Like it happened to someone else, not to me, not to mine.And I can't do anything. What is one supposed to feel in times like this?

I wish I could cry.

Mostly, I just feel so saddened.

I'm Getting Old

I swear to you I'm getting old, boring..and fat.
Now shall I entertain you with these charming, amusing and fascinating reasons why. *that is my attempt to be funny, which God forbids me, obviously isn't working*

Therefore, I am dull and boring. In fact, that's reason number one. All signs are there. In "When You're Getting Boring, Do You Know That You're Getting Boring? - Making Sense Into Your Adulthood; first edition". Ladies and gentlemen, I'm officially old, boring, and fat. Bring up my knitting tools!

Reason #1: I can't crack a joke anymore. A noise made by a horse has more chance of stirring up laughter than the words that came out from my mouth. Even the generous hearts would admit that it's sad.

Yesterday I went for a little karaoke, and although okay, karaoke isn't so dull, you say? It probably isn't, but when all you sang were songs from the era of such Beeges and Air Supply, you know that something is not quite right. Which brings me to...

Reason #2: I suddenly found myself humming and listening to oldies. Which isn't really a big deal once in a while, but then...

Reason #3: I downloaded tons of stuffs from Backstreet Boys, 911, M2M, even The Moffats. Know what I mean? 'Old' and 'Boring' are all pointing at me.

So hey, I was still singing, right, in the karaoke, I mean. And I brought my camera, which is almost always tucked safely inside my bag for all ocassions. And so I wanted to take picture, but I just seemed to lose focus and all sense of creativity! The only decent picture I managed to snap is this...



Reason #4: I can't even bloody make a good picture anymore! Look at it! Nothing. There is nothing but me, no sophisticated table, no interesting details, no displays of drinks or food, no NOTHING! If the picture doesn't scream dull! dull! dull!, I don't know what is.

I would be pleased if my voice could break a glass or two, at least that gotta showed that hey, I still had energy,man! I still got that edge! But, no, even my singing is boring.

And so, afterwhich, I got back and continued slacking at home and watching another DVDs. In fact, that's all I've been doing lately when I'm home..which is, well, often!

Reason #5: I do almost nothing but watching DVDs at home.

Yesterday it was 'The Village', today it was 'The Rivers Run Through It'. Half of 'Romeo and Juliet' the day before yesterday. In fact, there's the next reason.

Reason #6: I do almost nothing but watching old DVDs at home.

On my defense, I'd say 'hell with it! Old movies are great!'

But why do I spend most of the time at home, you ask? Don't I have friends or something? Well yes,yes, since you mentioned it, in fact I do have friends! Well, my best friend is currently away to her hometown, but there are plenty others here. On the contrary, some have been asking me out for dinner or lunch, but why oh why did I always turn them down? It isn't like me to turn down free dinner! See, next evidence on my boring-O-meter.

Reason #7: I find myself not wanting to go out.
Reason #8: All I want is slacking lazily at home with my pjs.

I should say 'It's not you, it's me' for anyone who have been failing to drag my ass out.

Well, if it's a little consolation, it's not like I don't go out at all. Like some days ago, I met my school friends for sushi, and another friend for movie, the karaoke, went out numerous times with Sis for all sorts of entertainments, and came out back and forth to the library to borrow and return books, etc.

So although I probably should start looking for the nearest senior citizen home, I don't have to move in there anytime soon. Still...

Reason #9: Thinking about senior citizen home is definitely not a good sign.

Apart from these wow-how-exciting-extracurricular-activities, *see? Bad joke again*, I couldn't help but thinking that yes,..

Reason #10: I haven't been to a club for weeks.

See, that's why I need my ocassional dose of neon lights, smoke and alcohol. At least it makes me feel young! Now I just feel...dull!

I just realized that I haven't mentioned a bit about the getting-fat thing, so that follows next..

Reason #11: I gained 3 more kgs.
Reason #12: Seriously speaking, I look bigger.
Reason #13: My tummy and arms, especially.

I don't like limiting myself, especially when it comes to food. I'm the follower of 'sod it, I will eat whatever I want'-philosophy, but this is starting to creep me up. I don't usually gain weight, no matter how much I eat. So what's happening now?

So here I am, nearly 1 am in the morning, feeling old, boring and fat.

Reason #14: Feeling old, boring and fat at 1 am in the morning is not good.

And there are officially 10 'borings' in this post. Which brings us, tadaaa, to the last reason.

Reason #15: I found myself counting how many 'boring' words in this entry.

Seriously, when you even bothered to do such unnecessary, dull things (i.e: looking up for gray hair, watching grass grows or..oops, counting words in a blog entry) you are undoubtely, getting old. Not necessarily fat, but old, yes.

I'm still 20, for God's sake! I'm not supposed to have this crisis until I'm at least fifty! Shouldn't I?

I need help! HELP! Search and Rescue!!!!!

Choa Chu Kang, John Cusack

So, here it goes. My new blog..yet again. Not too sure why I bothered to sign up for another provider while my old one is working perfectly fine. But then again, why not?

Don't really have anything in particular to write about. Today is quite uneventful, I just went to Choa Chu Kang to eat sushi. Huh? Choa Chu Kang???!! Why there, you ask? C'mon,mate, it's not like Choa Chu Kang is a bad place or anything! In fact, it's a perfectly decent place! Although, yeah, I had to admit, that probably it wasn't the hippest, funnest tourist spot or the exact place where everyone has fabulous fashion sense. The best you can get around Choa Chu Kang is a local auntie with dyed hair and fake curls wearing crocs sandal and eating Old Chang Kee.

Although the aunties are practically harmless.

So the reason why I had to go to that exact location..was because it's practically convenient and near to my place, and I was totally not in the mood to be a mashed potato inside the 502 bus to town. Gawd, have I ever mentioned that I hated that bus? Not only coz it's almost always full, but more on the fact that the journey itself would have embarrassed Frodo when he was making his way to Mount Doom. On the afternoon, I can still bear the painful excruciating experience, but on night time? That's the worst! Someone please just shoot me!

All in all? Choa Chu Kang won..by a tiny 5 feet to the finish line. Which was a very rare case, but then that was the story behind my unusual trip to the land of crocs aunties everywhere.

And you know I can't really complain about the sushi.

After the dinner and some regular grocery-shopping (banana milk, frozen pizza, ice cream, and potato chips), I got back and saw an old John Cusack movie. I don't know what's gotten into me these days, but John Cusack is slowly starting to get really painfully cute. Sure, he was cute in Serendipity but I watched it ages ago! So was he in Must Love Dogs. But not too long ago I saw High Fidelity and noticed his upcoming movie-trailer, 1408, and suddenly he was like, whoa! Stud alert! But his new movie was scary, man! Not sure I will be up for it although I desperately wanna see him! My common sense still wins over my excessive hormones, mind you.

As I was saying before..the old movie I mentioned about was called Better Off Dead and John Cusack was still damn young in it! Looks like he was about 18 or so. And I'm telling ya, if it wasn't for him, the movie would be so dull and weird. It's still is, but well, at least with him in it, there's something worth seeing! I couldn't help but grimaced in some scenes of the movie. But hey, it was 1985 movie, so let's give it a break, okay.



Come to think of it, he's not exactly Mr. Macho or Mr. Gorgeous, but there's something sweet and gentle about him, like he's actually a really nice guy in real life. Geeky. Well, now I know why I like him! Besides, he's one damn good actor, okay!

Look at me! Getting sappy over an actor! A 41-year old actor, somemore!

Have I bored you enough???!!!

Oh, by the way, I totally lost all my knowledge on this HTML stuffs, so I'm not sure how much I can decorate and entertain the outlook of this blog. I have no idea when it comes to 'templates' or anything that sort. Truthfully? I probably am the least technical person you can find around, and although I'm not too proud about it....it's done! I'm made! I'm brought up! So, if anyone can share their bits of wisdom,..please!