Friday, 17 June 2011

To the Negative, Moody and Unfriendly.

I wonder why some people are just..grumpy. But I'm tellin you, it ain't attractive.

We all have our good and bad days. And I'm not referring to us being moody and grumpy once in a while when everything seems to go wrong. Because that happens, I know. I'm saying it in a more general level. People whose default mood is just...grumpy. Unhappy, moody, negative people who think it's up to them to behave that way, but they don't realize that it affects people around them as well.

It's one thing being moody once in a while. It's quite another to be, just, literally depressing, all the freaking time. I'm your friend, so I would do my best to listen to you, and offer advice, and try to make you feel better. But what good does it do when nothing I say sticks? Because you go back to being depressed and complaining about life again and again and again.

Then there's people who think that just because they are moody, others have to be too. You don't feel like talking to people, you want to be alone, then so be it. Treating others rudely is completely uncalled for. You think I enjoy talking to you when you're getting all moody and annoying too? Well, news flash, I don't, okay? If it's up to me, I would rather go to..I don't know, Timbuktu or something, rathen than go through this verbal abuse just because you happen to be in a shitty mood. But we all have to deal with it. Sometimes we have no choice but to communicate, even when we don't feel like it.

Tell us nicely (or fine, you don't even have to smile, just say it in decent manner) that you are not feeling good today, so ask us to leave you alone. And hey, I will be away from your hair in a second. That bitchy attitude of yours doesn't help at all. If any, you just successfully established yourself as a serious douche.

And now there's the unfriendly kind. I wouldn't say that I'm the friendliest person, but I think I'm okay. I try to make people feel welcomed, because I know how awkward it is being the newbie. At work, for example. I have gone through different internships and jobs to know how weird it can be sometimes not knowing everyone around. I have been the kid who stays back during lunch time because I haven't known anyone yet. So I try to be nicer to new people when it's their turn to be the newbie.

During a work training, a Singaporean had this to say when this topic was brought up. "Why us? Why must we be the one who approach the newbie? The newbie has to approach us first!"

Well, to this person, I just would like to present him the Douchebag of The Day award because that's what he is, and to all of you too if you think that way. I don't know if you're just a douche by default, or the society has turned you into a bitter person, but seriously, you need help. And I hope one day when the tables are turned, you will get a taste of your medicine. I hope noone, and I mean, noone would talk to you and you would be a lonely, miserable person, sitting alone in your corner without anyone to talk to.

I don't think it's a matter of being friendly or not, rather than a practice of common decency. If everyone keeps waiting around to be approached first, noone would end up talking to anyone. If that's what you want, then fine. Be miserable on your own.

Thing is, sometimes you don't have to be the brightest person around, you don't even have to be the friendliest. All you need is just to be a decent, okay person. Someone who gets down once in a while, but bounces back up because that's what we do. Someone who thinks before they talk because words can be hurtful. Someone who is..okay, by nature. Not someone bitter, not someone who disregard other people's feelings.

Smiling is good, you know? You probably seldom do it, but try it! It can loosen up those rigid cells in your face (or brain) and make everything seems better. And who knows, god forbid, you may even actually be, gasp! Happy.

Be nice, people. Life is way too short to be grumpy.

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Real.

This is going to be a very mushy post, so please avert your eyes or skip this entirely if you have just taken your lunch. I'm not responsible for any of your digestive problems.

Okay, ready? Well, don't tell me you haven't been warned.

Well, where to begin. I think I may end up blushing and grinning like a fool to myself. Thank goodness noone is paying attention right now.

I've gone through relationships knowing, in one way or the other, that it wasn't going to last. I know it sounds sad or abnormal, but see, that's the thing. I've never been very normal when it comes to relationships.

And for the most part, I'm okay with being on my own, as clichey as it sounds. I could easily find someone to have fun with, and that'd be it. No drama, no fights, no real attachment. But at the end of the day, it means having noone who really cares about you for you too. Not about how fun you are at parties, about how great you look on dates.

You know they liked you for the most superficial reasons. That within a second, they could turn their attention to someone who were more fun, who dressed better, who could offer them more things in return. And as twisted as it was, I used to like that. It was almost..like a challenge. And I didn't have to feel bad moving on and turning my attention to someone else because I knew they'd be okay with it too. That's the whole arrangement.

I hope one of you would relate and be like, "yeah, I used to be like that at one point too, I understand what she means." Because otherwise, I would feel..even more..weird. Alone. Abnormal.

I guess the turning point kinda happened a few months ago. I remembered going on a date with someone but even when we made plans to meet that night, my heart wasn't in it. He was nice and kind and he treated me well, but suddenly I thought to myself, "what are you doing?" Throughout the night, I kept asking myself that and even though we have gone out on a few dates, somehow I knew that it was the last time that I was gonna see him.

Of course to this day he never really knew what happened and why I suddenly stopped replying to his messages. Guess something snapped that night and I realized, I was thinking about someone else and unless it was him who looked at me across the table, it would never go anywhere with anyone else.

That's when I stopped. I stopped all the playing around and started to be okay, to be really okay, being by myself. To stay at home on weekends, to work hard in my job, to focus my energy on being healthier, better version of me.

So, I saw and hung out with my friends more, finding happiness in the simplest things. Took comfort in family and friendship and for a good part, I was really happy and undisturbed with the fact that yeah, I was probably the only single person left among my good friends.

I'm really glad I've taken my time. To hopefully grow up and be the best that I can be. Because who knew, a few months down the road, that someone would not just be sitting across the table; he's next to me and I am the happiest I've ever been.

And for the first time, I don't even have a tinge of hesitation when I said this. Not once throughout the time I started liking you, that I felt that this isn't going to last.

Mickey Mouse Situation

My office had an uninvited visitor yesterday. It started with my colleague exclaiming, "Christina! There's a rat here somewhere!" first thing in the morning when my brain was still grogilly switching between "shit, it's Monday again" and "shit, it's Monday again". It means, no, I wasn't in any way prepared to face a mouse-rat-situation.

Let's just say that the whole day I was on edge. We couldn't find it behind the boxes, which means, it could be anywhere, including underneath my desk! It didn't help that my colleagues sensed my unrealistic (but very real) fear and they started making jerk sudden movement everytime they passed my desk for the sole purpose of scaring me off.

At one point, one of them actually said that the rat might be hiding under my chair and bite my toes! But I like my toes! They help to keep me..balanced. And proportional. And pretty?

Sometime in the afternoon, I actually saw the mouse run from one end to the next but it was gone before none of us could react. I doubt my scream helped anyone to catch the mouse but what was I supposed to do, right? One of us actually brought in a trap with some food inside and placed it at the corner.

But until the end of the day, the rat was nowhere to be seen, and I actually skipped lunch. Hm, not that one had anything to do with the other. I don't think so? Probably doesn't help that Greg started saying that rats loved food and that I should be extra careful placing my instant noodles!

"Why are you so...." my colleague asked me with amused expression after he successfully managed to scare me off (again). (Really? That is soooo elementary school.)

"Jumpy?" I offered to finish his sentence.

Ha. I've been asking myself the very same question for years. I don't know why I'm so jumpy aside from the fact that I am. How else am I gonna explain it?

Why am I so scared of animals? Why am I scared of horror movies? Why am I scared of ghosts? Well, why don't you get me checked and maybe we can find out the answer.

This morning, when I arrived in the office, I was greeted by the announcement that the rat has been apprehended. It was safely tucked away in the trap. "Come see it!" my colleague said.

"Er..how about..no!"

"Why! I should give the rat to you..Make you face your fears," he said, with unnecessary excitement that was, to me, very uncalled for.

Sunday, 12 June 2011

They bring me to you.

You looked like the sun
I was the only one
who could stare until you were done shining on me
and as we drank our wine and let the world fade away
the sunrise tried to end it while we tried to stay.

The rest of my life can't compare to this night
and only the heartaches have given me sight,
they bring me to you,
they bring me to you.

Moon pours through the ceiling tonight
embraces us tight
shows me we're right for each other
and as we lie here and let the world fade away
the sunrise tries to end it while we try to stay.

The rest of my life can't compare to this night
and only the heartaches have given me sight,
they bring me to you.

It's all about the first night and last,
some people say
well I love you so much more tonight,
more than yesterday.

The rest of my life can't compare to this night
and only the heartaches have given me sight,
they bring me to you.

Wednesday, 8 June 2011

conflicting.

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

- From 'Skins'

“I’ve loved you from the first time I saw you. I think I was twelve. It took me three years to pluck up the courage to speak to you. And I was so scared of the way I felt, you know, loving a girl, that I learned how to become a sarcastic bitch just to make it feel normal. I screwed guys, to make it go away, but it didn’t work. When we got together it scared the shit out of me because, you were the one person who could ruin my life. I pushed you away and made you think things were your fault but, really I was just terrified of pain. I screwed that girl Sophia to kind of spite you for having that hold on me. And I’m a total fucking coward because, I got these… these tickets to Goa for us three months ago. But I, I couldn’t stand… I didn’t want to be a slave to the way I feel about you. Can you understand? You were trying to punish me back and it’s horrible. It’s so horrible because, really, I’d die for you. I love you. I love you so much it is killing me.”

Friday, 27 May 2011

Unforgettable Hong Kong!

So guess who just came back from a weekend in Hong Kong last week? Me! Me! Me! Pick me!

Okay, that was lame. Sorry. Hey, it's been ages since I wrote here and it's been equally long that I haven't been entertaining myself with my silly jokes. And I'm gonna post so many photos here, you better be really, really afraid.

So anyway, in a nutshell, it was a really fun and memorable trip. And who knew being a lightbulb could be this great? Yes, you heard that right. I went with my couple friends. But they are both equally fun, adventurous people to be around and at the end of the day, I was sorta glad it turned out that way because otherwise, I figured my girl friend and I would have spent so much time being confused and lost like two blind mice. At least now we were three blind mice and that sounded much more comforting, don't you think?

I think we did exactly what we set out to do, and went to the places that we wanted to go, so really, it was great. It was refreshing being in a different city (although, Hong Kong felt so much like Singapore at times), but it was still different and unfamiliar I cherished every minute of it.

We went sightseeing from morning 'til night, until our legs felt like they were ready to drop any second. The highlight of the trip was probably The Peak for me, but I definitely liked Macau for different reasons too. We went to Macau on our second day when our spirit was at the all-time high! Checking out The Venetian Hotel with their romantic man-made canals was great too! At The Peak, we visited Madam Tussauds and took gazillions of photos in the Viewing Terrace at the top.

One thing I gotta comment on was the weather, though. It was drizzling throughout the time we were there, and it was kind of a bummer. 'Cos everywhere roads were slippery and damp, and we had to bring umbrella everywhere. Plus, the air got so hazy and foggy that at some point, we couldn't really see anything when we were on top of The Peak. But it got better as the day went on and despite all that, we still had a good time and the photos didn't turn out so bad, don't you think?

Alright, then, food! Okay, so I was told by many friends here before I left, that I had to try this, and that, this dimsum in this street, that dessert in that place, etc etc. But once we were there, it was really hard to spot these places, especially with our tight schedule! So we sort of just went to the major places that we wanted to go, and grabbed lunch and dinner at the area. We picked the most local and chinese place we could find, and just..went with it. The eateries there were all so small though. Seats were packed and all the menus were written in Chinese I could only stare at it blankly. We survived, though. The power of body language.

Next on, shopping. Same goes with that. I've heard warnings of people going crazy while shopping in Hong Kong that I have especially set aside some money to go wild. But we really didn't have time for that either! We went to Ladies' Market over at Mong Kok but didn't really see anything special. We bought the standard 'I Love HK' T-Shirt that we wore the next day but that's it. Oh, and a pair of slippers.

That about summed up our adventure, and I really hope I could do these little trips over the weekend again more often!







Thursday, 26 May 2011

For the better.

I was constantly on the lookout. Even when I was with someone, somehow I managed to find excuses to break away because I wasn't comfortable being in one place for a long time. I blamed it on my short-attention-span, but in the end it all boiled down to my own immaturity.

I don't know how it started to change. Maybe when I got to know you, and realized that you're different. Different how? I don't know. I can't really pinpoint it. You're not just a person, see. You're a whole kind of person. And without even trying, you keep me on my toes. In your own undramatic and ordinary way, you kicked the side of my head and woke me up from this faraway dreamland I was in.

And I tried to fight it at first. Because it was scary and unfamiliar. I convinced myself that nothing has really changed, and that I still had all the freedom in the world to do what the old me used to do. Play around, not take things seriously, walk away whenever my feet got cold or when things did not shake me to the core anymore.

But after a while, I was tired. Because it was tiring trying to fight it. It was tiring trying to pretend that I haven't changed. That you didn't matter.

And besides, why did I need to fight it? As out of this world this may have seemed, maybe it was time for me to grow up. And it was like, everything started to fall into place and I just let myself enjoy the ride. Although it was unpredictable, frustrating and confusing, the excitement and anticipation were so great that I kept telling myself to be patient.

Yes, patience. I used to jump into things too quickly, and see, without knowing it, you have taught me the lesson of being patient too. That good things come to those who wait.

And now, I couldn't hope for anything better. And I have you to thank, for just being you, the unique and serious and funny and special you.

Even my sister said, "Sis, this is the most normal thing I've seen you do..since like, ever."

Saturday, 7 May 2011

In a flash!

Is it an ironic coincidence that my 1 year in my company falls on 24 June, which is also the first day of my 10.5 leave?

Haha. First things first! I'm really happy I managed to stay on for almost a year now, and it's probably the longest I've ever committed to anything! Time really flies when you think about it. I can recall my first day like it was just yesterday. The outfits I wore, how I felt on the day, what I did and how the day began and ended.

There were moments of doubts and stress during the first few days especially, since everything was so new. But I learnt that, once you make a decision, stick by it. And don't ever look back. Just don't.

So, next thing is, yes! I'm finally doing the big vacation thing this June to Italy! You know what, even though we started out with just a big gut and a few presses to book the tickets without much plans yet, we're all set! It's so exciting, aye!

And speaking of vacation, I'll be doing a pre-vacation thing to Hong Kong next weekend!

Will write more tonight I hope! I miss updating this blog with my neverending rants!

Thursday, 28 April 2011

Sunday, 24 April 2011

The Script!

Oh hello there! I have come back from the cave and I miss you all! (although, since I’m the only one who write and read this anyway, I might as well say that I miss myself, which is pretty self-centred and shameless.)

April is surely an exciting month because I never thought I would go and see The Script Live in concert!

I’ve loved The Script since ‘The Man Who Can’t Be Moved’, which seemed like a long time ago! The band has never made it exceptionally big here like, say, Jason Mraz (whom I also have loved since ‘You and I Both’. But he just made it big since ‘I’m Yours’, and now I have that protective feeling whenever people say they’re big fans of him and all I want to say is “No! I like him first! I’m his bigger fan!”)

I can’t think of a better band to see live though. I have a lot of bands and singers that I liked, and I’m sure plenty of them have had concerts in Singapore in the past, but I wonder why I never truly bothered to watch. When I heard on the radio one morning in early March that The Script is coming for one night concert here, I immediately bought the ticket, just like that, on the same day as soon as I reached office!

Now, that surely means something, right? The fact that I bought it almost two months in advance made the anticipation much more exciting and all the more when I found out a week before the concert that my dear friend was going too!

The D-Day itself couldn’t be more dramatic as my lil sister and I made our way to Fort Canning about 2 hours earlier. We knew it’s a standing concert so of course we didn’t want to be stuck right in the very end of the line. We’re very aware of our limitations when it comes to height, and we’re not planning to stand behind a tall person all throughout the concert!

It started drizzling when we reached and there was already a long line forming. We took our queue and stood there waiting for 2 hours under the rain which just got even heavier as time passed by and the organizer had to give away ponchos.

The demographic of the crowds was pretty obvious. A lot of Caucasians and Malay teenagers screaming and yelling even long before the concert began. At that time when I was squeezed and pushed around by obnoxious, loud Caucasians, I thought, “I never know Caucasians could be THIS annoying!” And maybe I’m just generalizing here, but bear with me, okay? They were really loud and inconsiderate, constantly cutting people’s lines and kept moving around, poking and nudging me every two seconds, never realizing that they were pushing people and pissing us off.

A big person in front of me kept pulling something from her bag, putting it back in, moving around and looking behind, bobbing her head non-stop and consider that we were in such close proximity to each other that even a bob of her head sent her ponytail flying right in my face every time and her pulling things from her bag nudged all parts of my body and my goodness, it was torture.

It must have been a good hour before the concert even started; all of us standing like sardines while the DJ was trying to fill in some time by playing current songs.

At first we were excitedly singing along to Rihanna’s ‘What’s My Name’ and Jessie J’s ‘Price Tag’, but after a while, we just wanted The Script to come up on stage!

And once that happened. Wow. That’s all I can say. It was amazing. Amazing, amazing, amazing. The whole concert, it boils down as one of the most memorable experiences I will never, ever forget!

Their energy was infectious and they sang all the songs we wanted them to sing. They started with tunes like ‘If You Come Back’, ‘Science and Faith’, ‘If You See Kay’, and more, before they finished the show with ‘For The First Time’ and ‘Break Even’!

The whole thing was a blur, we were screaming and singing along at the top of our lungs until we no longer felt the rain and the humidity around us.

It truly was amazing! And I realize I probably use the word ‘amazing’ too much here, but there’s no other word to describe the experience.

If I loved The Script before, I am even more obsessed with them now! I kept listening to their songs all over again, reading their interviews about the meanings of each song, watching their live performances on YouTube, oh man, I think I’m borderline stalking ‘em now.



Okay I realize I'm really crappy at taking pictures, because all I have is a lousy phone camera and a semi-decent digital camera that wouldn't zoom as close as I hoped for. But we really were standing pretty close to the stage! I feel like I could almost touch Danny, who is frikkin gorgeous, by the way!

So let me just show you the pictures they took themselves during the concert which they posted on Twitter!

BOOM! Isn't that amazing!

Because I was standing quite in the front, I never knew how big the place really was, and how many people actually filled in the area, and only when I saw this picture, I knew what the band was seeing: a truly massive crowds of fans! It was just amazing!

Ah, now I feel like stalking and watching their videos again! So before I finish this post, let me post another picture of them that they took. Had nothing to do with the concert but man, isn't Danny gorgeous!

♥ ♥

In Pictures




Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.

Thursday, 14 April 2011

Apart.

Sometimes we waste too much time to think about someone who doesn't even think about us for a second.

People change. Feelings change. It doesn't mean that the love once shared wasn't true and real. It simply just means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart.

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

The Notebook.

In times of grief and sorrow I will hold you and rock you, and take your grief and make it my own.

When you cry, I cry, and when you hurt, I hurt. And together we will try to hold back the floods of tears and despair and make it through thee potholed streets of life.