I saw Chris Martin. Yes, you heard right.

I've never been particularly star-strucked before.

I lived in Indonesia for around 17 years of my life, for goodness sake. The only famous faces I've encountered in real life were probably just some dangdut singers or local soap opera's actors. Needless to say, it wasn't very exciting.

“That's Bertrand? Oh.” was my only reaction upon seeing this particular local teenage heartrob. So-called heartrob. I've yet to see the appeal of this metrosexual, ex F-4 wannabe. But that's just me. Apparently girls go crazy after him.

During my almost 4-years stay in Singapore, well, I saw VJ Denise, Utt, and Colby, and probably some other recognizable persons, but still, it was nothing to flip about, see.

“Did you see anyone famous in US?” was another thing some friends asked me after I got back. I mean, it's just natural. I went to Hollywood! Disneyland on Christmas Day! Vegas on New Year's Eve! If it wasn't the perfect time for some celebrities-sighting, I don't know when is.

I was hoping, maybe a little bit of Seacrest? Just, whoever so I could boast.

Granted, on New Year's eve, celebrities were coming out to host countdown parties everywhere. In PURE, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wenz were scheduled to come. [I was standing in front of the red carpet there! I could have been just like, five minutes away from their grand entrance.] There was the Kardashian sisters too somewhere in another club. Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, and man, I wouldn't even mind seeing Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, even if I risk appearing very bimbotic.

But nope. Nada.

And it's okay. I've come to terms with that. I've eventually accepted that I'm simply not cool enough to spot a famous face. I've long given up that dream.

So last Sunday as I was walking towards the sunset through the beach, I wasn't at all prepared to......................

See Chris Martin!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes!! Chris Martin of Coldplay! Yes!! Chris Martin, the husband of Gwyneth Paltrow! Yes!! THAT super-famous-Grammy-award-winner-super-rich-Chris Martin!!!

Let me insert his picture here, for you who doesn't know who Chris Martin is! Dammit, people, where have you been living? A cave?! Hint for my friend Andrew who was like, "Chris who?"

I stood there, agape, unable to believe my eyes. But there he was, in flesh. Chris Martin was in fucking Sentosa.

I've gained back my faith, people! It's possible that one day I would get to marry John Cusack! It's possible that I would be an Oscar-winning-actress! Everything is possible!

I SAW CHRIS MARTIN! VIVA LA VIDA!

This is my first real celebrity-sighting, so forgive me for being so dorky about it.

Behavior

Here's one interesting thing that I discovered recently.

A girl tends to behave unlike herself, in the company of someone she fancies. One-hundred-and-eighty-degrees-difference, in fact. She would eat a lot less, she would laugh a lot softer, she would not talk as much. A girl has to be in her best behavior, especially on the first date, right? No reason to scare the guy away too fast. Give him at least three or four dates, and then, he would find out that she eats like she hasn't eaten for a week, that she laughs like a donkey, and that she can't shut up to save her life. Hopefully by this point, the guy has liked the girl enough to tolerate and even appreciate her sudden change of antics with affection.

At least this is what I found out from my girlfriends.

[They don't laugh like donkeys, and all those things. I'm just putting it into the extreme.]

“You won't believe how she's like in front of this guy,” a male friend told me one time. Apparently he tagged along in one of her date, and he found her dating behavior to be quite amusing. “She didn't even touch her food,” he said, in between laughter.

It's really cute. And the guy must be damn special for her not to eat, that's all I gotta say.

But unfortunately, for some reason it works differently with me. A sign when I really like someone, is when I'm being truly myself in his company. I like someone when I eat like I can eat a whole cow alive, when I laugh like a donkey, and when I can't shut up.

On my first date with this guy one time, the first thing I said after we finished our dinner was, 'I'm still hungry, what's for round two?' He looked at me as if I was insane.

I have different disposition when it comes to dating than my girlfriends. When I do all these things, it goes to show that I'm making effort to keep things light and fun. And I keep yammering on and on, because I find him interesting. I'd like to see his reaction and opinions on the things I said because in my twisted mind, I'd like to get to know him better.

Weird logic? I don't know. I think they're great enough as they are, and they shouldn't even attempt to behave any differently, because if they're really trying to impress, then they should just be themselves.

Which guy would like a girl who doesn't eat anyway, right? Just a penny of my thought.

Bad Weather

Images courtesy of Anderson.

I loved these. Thought I'd share one or two here.

Isn't that just so intense?

Singapore has officially entered the rainy season, and it rains almost everyday nowadays. Sometimes it's even more like a storm than a rain. But the picture, man!

The cloud looked like it's gonna eat the whole city.

Brace yourself. It's gonna be a wet, windy and bumpy month.

Bits of Vegas

Vegas is somethin' else. It's a city full of energy, of excitement, of contagious wildness. It was intoxicating just being there, in the midst of crowds on the evening of December 31st.

We weren't ready to leave San Diego yet at that point, so we were pretty sullen in the bus to Vegas. It wasn't a short ride, either, and the bus was full that we had to sit separately. I had a black kid sitting beside me at the first half of the drive, and the next half to this gigantic, talkative elder man who wouldn't shut up. He just wouldn't. I was still slightly hungover (excessive drinking!), so I spent almost the whole ride sleeping. We stopped at this small town called Barstow, which consists of nothing more than open land and short-buildings and a transit centre where we grabbed a bite. I was this close to fainting, and seeing the faces of the girls, I was sure they weren't far behind me either. By the time we reached Vegas, it must have been at least 8 pm at night. I was disoriented, tired, and feeling sick to my stomach, literally.

The first thing that greeted us when we alighted at this sin city wasn't the dirty smell of cigar, or the sexy sight of roullete tables, but a full-packed bus station. Black people were everywhere, their asses at the big risk of dropping down due to their low-waist pants they were wearing. What is it with this desire to show off piece of cheap underwears? Oh, I can make a whole new entry on this subject itself, I need to stop myself now.

Our hotel was out in the boulder area, it was a typical casino-hotel. The casino was always full with middle-aged people playing slots machines. Bonnie called it a 'retirement hotel'. We were the hottest people there, yeah, because we were the only ones under sixty!

We spent the next four days exploring the Strip. With the new year looming in, Vegas was at its most crowded state.

The three of us didn't love Vegas as much as we thought we would. Looking at the pictures now though, I thought, "What didn't you like it?" and I came up empty. I didn't know why we weren't loving it as much as we were San Diego or San Francisco!

It could be the fact that we couldn't watch any shows because everything was sold out, and it could be because we weren't swimming with money that we couldn't simpy spend a hundred bucks to get inside a club for new year's eve countdown. It could be because our hotel was far away from the Strip that it took us 2 bus rides and at least forty five minutes to go back and forth between the two. It could be because walking around in the Strip with heels was tiring and waiting for cab for two hours at 3 am on a cold, chilly night wasn't much fun either.

But I guess that's just the circumstances. The city itself is crazy beautiful and only there I have seen a beer bottle so big!!!

The street in Vegas, bursting of lights and energy.

A glimpse of Paris.

...and New York too.

More pictures here.

We certainly had eventful time there, that's for sure. Yeah, my two-hundred-dollars phone bills was definitely eventful. Dammit.

Seeing Vegas pictures leaves me feeling the most nostalgic! I wish we could have given the city more credit, I hope we can go back there one day and re-experience it again.

"transition"

Just a quick update! Yes, yes, I haven't been yammering here at all! Not because I'm busy or anything, in fact, it's the complete opposite! I'm so jobless it's not even funny anymore.

When I thought I would have had to start working last week, the night before I was with my friend and I was whining continuously, hoping I could still have a week or two of freedom before adulthood started. Guess what? I got what I wanted, and now I would give anything to be working. Be careful what you wish for, that's all I've gotta say.

Well, nah, in case you're curious, I wasn't fired on my first day! There has simply been a problem regarding my work permit, suffice to say I decided that the job wasn't worth it. So I'm back to square one, unemployed and broke. And it's not a good position to be in, especially when everyday you keep spending and spending, sometimes without even knowing what it is you're spending your money on. It's still a mystery to me.

I'm so stressed out and I need to know there will be light at the end of the tunnel! I need to know that I won't have my sexy arse kicked out from Singapore!

I'm just gonna be brainless today, but I'm gonna write something significant for a change later, I promise.

apology

I have an awful feeling that I haven't been a pretty good friend lately. What's worse is that, I think I've been that way to everyone. And for that, I'm really sorry.

I hear people say 'it's not you, it's me' all the time, and I used to mock the clicheness of it all, and it's not even an excuse, but that's how it is with me lately.

I feel like, I'm in this shit hole and I don't even wanna get out, you know? I guess, I'm just struggling with my own things, and while I'm at it, I can't focus on doing something else, something fun with my friends. And each time I'm 'neglecting' them, the worse I feel about myself, but at the same time, I'm unethusiastic about the idea of trying to be all cheerful and excited when my mind is occupied with other things. Trust me, I wish I could just leave all that at home. I'd love to welcome any distraction.

I wonder if this is how all depressed people started out. I mean, they can't just be depressed overnight, can they? It comes in stages, I assume. First, they're constantly worried and feeling meh about everything, and then they just don't go out anymore and they have no more friends, and they end up being miserable and grumpy and lonely and nobody would stand even being in near proximity with them.

Oh, god. Am I on the road to depression?

When people are going crazy, do they know that they are going crazy?

Okay, stop. This isn't helping at all. It's not even as if I have enough life-and-death situation to be depressed about. I'm not severely heartbroken, I'm not chased around by loansharks, or gangsters. In fact, I just graduated!

Everyone who hear this always say, "Congratulations! You must be excited!" But the truth is, I'm still waiting for the moment for the excitement to sink in. Any minute now, I hope. Yeah, that was what I thought a week ago.

It's just funny how sometimes your entire life could be filled with just one problem. Do you remember as a teen, all you needed to worry about was to get good grades at school? At the time, it seemed enormous, difficult. Now? It was nothing. Does it mean that it was silly to get stressed over it? Well, no. I keep telling myself that this isn't a big deal, that later ahead I would look back and laugh about it, but it doesn't make me feel much better now, to be honest.

Well, I'm rambling again, as always. The whole point of it all is, just to admit that I've been a terrible, shitty friend lately and I'm disliking it myself. I need to, figure things out first. But even with that said, I should have handled it better, I shouldn't be this way, no doubt about it. So friends, I'm really sorry.

And to one particular friend whom I've been verbally abused all the time since I've been this tense, moody and irritable bitch. I'm sorry for being extremely difficult to hang out with, to not reciprocate when nice things are said, and basically, for not appreciating you enough for being patient. And a good friend.

I'm gonna try to make it better. And one more thing, don't let me be depressed. Please.

Spotlight!

Have you ever been in a situation when you were put in a spotlight to tell a story you don't want to tell, because oh, well, it's either a)embarrassing, or b)not funny? So, there you are, having dinner, let's say, with a big group of friends, and then one of your friend says, "hey, tell them about this or that..", and you really don't wanna go into it, but everyone's watching you now and expecting an answer and you're put on the spot when you don't know what to say!

It's so awkward! It happened to me a while back, we were having drinks together with new people. New people, that's even worse! Hot new people, the worst! Well, thanks a lot, now I can snatch the record of ruining a good image of myself in under 5 minutes! Neutral, if not good, since we supposedly have just been introduced.

Anyway, I was sipping my drink innocently, so gullible and oblivious of what was gonna happen next. Suddenly, my friend said, "Tin, tell them about how you two met.." and everyone's eyes were on me. I wanted to curl up under a blanket and never come out, or dissapear off the face of the earth! I think at that time, I was muttering, "eh..." or I might have even attempted a slight change-of-subject-manuever (I was told I'm pretty good at it), but obviously I sucked. If I did try to change the subject, my friend must have persisted, "tell them!" until I had no choice. (Of course by being busted trying to change the topic got everyone to think there's a really juicy story, and now they wouldn't drop the matter!) By the time I finished the story, I think everyone kinda fell into a deafening silence, and the conversation gradually continued on a totally different topic. I was like, what the fuck, I totally didn't need to say anything back there! It was so unoriginal that it wasn't even worth a comment or a follow-up!

One thing about me is that, I don't like being put on the spot! I mean, I like attention and all, but nothing gets me more anxious than being surprised, or put under the spotlight unexpectedly! Part of why I don't like changes is because I'm an insane planner and I like to know what I'm dealing with in advance. So I guess that makes sense. Don't do that, please!

Similar thing happened just recently. We were having dinner too with new people! Why oh why! Well, and then one of my older friend suddenly said, "Tin, what happened to your then-boyfriend? Why did you two break up?"

Everyone was staring at me. Like, dammit, I don't want to discuss about my breakup during dinner in front of a new friend, lah! At one point even this new person said to me, "Tell me! I'm curious now..."

"Ah, nothing..." I think I could only say that weakly after a few seconds (which felt like eternity) of awkward silence. Suddenly my food looked very interesting that I could only manage to look down at it.

So embarrassing!!!!

the bay

Sent from his iPhone.

The amazing view of The Bay, taken from his office. Feels like I'm back there.

Amusing States Mottos

[caud] and I have talked about all imaginable topics we can think of. We rant and slur our ways into total insanity. We yell things like 'fuck normality!', 'random disposition!' and 'cave of oblivion!' without making any sense.

On an ordinary afternoon many months ago, our conversation suddenly got to the topic of states' motto. It was hilarious, and I'm sorry for being a dork, but I've simply never had any inkling ideas about states motto until that time. We started googling each US states' motto and I was in complete stitches!

Anyway, I remember this out of a sudden after seeing my friend's album on facebook, she was also travelling around the States after our residency in Oklahoma last December, and there was one picture when she took picture of a license plate during her trip. This has got to be the most bad-ass license plate ever!

New Hampshire - LIVE FREE OR DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh man, that is the funniest thing ever! It sounds almost like a threat! Gangsta-city! So bad-ass! I would love to have that plastered in my room!

Because I was going to Oklahoma in a few months' time, I was curious to know their state motto.

Oklahoma - LABOR CONQUERS ALL THINGS!!!!!!!!!!

Hahahahahaha! What the!! Farm-social-workers-city! That is such an unglam motto! It screams prairie and horses all over! Which, I guess, it rather accurate...

Massachusetts - BY THE SWORD WE SEEK PEACE, BUT PEACE ONLY UNDER LIBERTY!!!

Woah, not bad! It even has the word 'sword' in it! The image of knights in steel armor suddenly came to mind.

California - I HAVE FOUND IT!!!

Idaho - IT IS FOREVER!!!

So inspirational! Quite bad-ass too, isn't it? Nothing beats this one, though. Check it out...

Rhode Island - HOPE!!!

Now that's what I'm talking about! HOPE!

West Virginia - MOUNTAINEERS ARE ALWAYS FREE

Eh, okay, hear hear. Hahahaha.

Geez, I'm really having too much fun here. I just kinda wanna share this random-probably-worthless information. What? It's hilarious! *dork alert*

I still have loads of studying to do, so until next time, LIVE FREE OR DIE!!!!!!!

character

He's her seasonal listening ear, her occassional supper friend, and she's perfectly happy with the arrangement. She likes it that way; that she doesn't need to see him on regular basis, that both of them know they will be there for each other whenever any needs arise, that there is never any pressure in their friendship.

That night they were out on their usual spontaneous feast because he was craving stingray fish and char kwetiau. He brought along another friend she doesn't particularly like. His friend was snobbish, how he could be friends with him remains a mystery to her.

They talked normally in the car, but when they were walking to the eating place he was suddenly beside her, his arms reaching for her shoulder. Spontaneously she drifted away, not because she was upset, but more so appalled of the sudden gesture. It was her fight-or-flee reaction. His expression didn't change, so she tried to ignore it.

After the food came, they started eating. He ordered her favorite food, although he himself didn't like it. She's frustrated because she would end up eating the whole thing alone. Well, at least now his friend could be useful in a way.

But then he carefully took the fish for her, opened the cockles from the shells and dipped them in sauce before laying them down on her plate. She stared in disbelief, what has gotten into him? Why was he being so nice and....manly? She simply has never seen him in that light before.

It's like his friend's presence changed something, although she had no idea what, or why.

Suddenly once again, she wanted to just flee. She wanted to scold him for being so uncharacteristically him, she wanted to wipe his friend's teasing-look off his face. But more than anything, at that precise moment, she wanted her normal friend back.

Random Likes

I like.....

The sound of soda drink as it's being opened.
The salty, particular smell of the rain I can never quite describe.
The smell of onion and garlic in the frying pan.
The few seconds before meals.
The rule of diminishing pleasure.
My bolster.
Black-rimmed glasses.
Glass tables.
Learning new words that not many people know.
The feeling of touching new, fresh books.
The sound of my yahoo alert everytime a new e-mail comes in.
Writing long, descriptive, rambling mails.
Mixed baby boys.
The colour turqoise.
Creativity.
Salty popcorn, although not many agree.
Accents.
Silver-tipped microphone, there's something really appealing about it.
Checking-in at the airport.
Seeing hot girls got rejected.
The sound of an old keyboard, instead of the modern one which doesn't make any sound at all.
Soy milk with pearls.
When two people talk at the same time.
Roleplay in text messages.
Mocking at how dramatic television shows can be.
Being fascinated at one's real accent is as opposed to the accent he/she uses in a movie.
Those witty messages in bumper stickers.
Lifting one of my legs as I'm brushing my teeth.
Men in suits.
Take-away coffee cup.
Listening to a song in repeat, over and over again. That's what I do when I really like a song.
Introducing my favorite movies to people and converting them into liking them too.
Lyrics; it's as important as the melodies.
Reality shows, because I like seeing emotions and reactions of real people.
English language.
Movie quotes.
The few seconds before you drift off to sleep.
The feeling of going out from the office every evening, knowing it was a well-spent day.
Observing license plates from different places I'm in.
Surprising people, yet I hate surprises.
Watching award shows.
Armani code perfume.
Cold weather.
Listening people talk about numbers.
Sunset.
Watching trailers before movie starts in the cinema.
Flip phones.
When I was little and we used to drive up to stay at mountain resort every weekend.
The font Trebuchet MS.
Unknown actors.
Cooking instant noodles with egg with little water, so the noodles is very thick in texture.
The time when I used to not worry about anything.
The sound of telephone being put down.
CTU ringtone in 24.
Curse words.
The name Nathan.
Talking to myself in my head.
Making lists.
Grocery shopping in t-shirt and shorts.
Analyzing people's names.
Random blog entry just like this.

Personality test, just because I'm bored. You know this is BS, yet it's always interesting to try anyway.

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Just my luck!

Wanna know what I concluded yesterday? Well, my conclusion sucks, but it's true; I have shit for luck. I think I have been yammering about this before, I just think that there's something wrong with my allignment in the stars when I was born or something, but I just might be one of the unluckiest person I know.

If you believe that everything happens for a reason, then I've no idea what it's telling me. The near-misses, the bad coincidences, frankly I can't think of a reason how it would benefit me eventually, how these could mean something. I'm a believer that things sometimes just happen in random, it sounds sad, but it means that we should just be grateful when good things happen because you'll never know. Isn't that realistic?

Yeah, and I've always thought I'm the optimist one in the family. What a bunch of depressed people. Nah, I'm kidding, it's just me. If anything, I'm the weird one.

So, I have been struggling with this whole job hunting process, and the response I got has so far been pathetically pathetic. I don't know what else to call it. But I got one job offer which might be cool and exciting, but the pay isn't good. It's peanut, practically. I can safely say, though, that it was the only option I got. I met with the boss, he was great, everything seemed great, and I was given a week to think about it and give my answer, 'cos once you commit, you gotta commit, you know? Which is all everyone can ask for, really. I don't like people backing out on their words either, and I've got my fair share of that when I was coordinating an event and the client kept making last-minute changes and it drove me nuts. Like, nuts.

So I waited and pondered. Couldn't exactly make a pros-and-cons list, because yes, rub it in my face again that it was simply the only lead I got. Yeah yeah. Within the week though, I kept applying and sending my resumes everywhere, well, I wanted to make sure I made the right choice. But nothing came up, and it boiled down to the deadline when I was supposed to give my answer, which was yesterday. I still waited 'til afternoon even, but my phone remained dead. I shook it, turned it off and on again, but the only text I've got was from a friend saying "Tin..." What the hell? My friends are weird.

I guess that was it, then. I probably would have to eat grass and be a monk for the next six months 'cos I would be broke and all, but well, I would manage. And I sent an email saying yes, I would be happy working for him. Case closed, right? Well, of course something must have happened, because things couldn't just work that smoothly.

Only half an hour after, I got a call from an event company, setting me up for an interview next week. That was the kind of lead I have been waiting for all week! And it had to come, half a freaking four after I commited to something else?! What is wrong with the world?!

Okay, a little dramatic there, but shit, the whole timing just bummed me out. I know, it's just an interview, probably little chance of me actually nailing it, but still, now I feel like it wouldn't matter anymore. It would be such a dick move to back out on my words now, but at the same time, I wanna take the chance and just see what's gonna happen. I'm supposed to look out for my best interest, right? Then again, I could just be thinking too much right now, why worry about it now? I'll cross the bridge when the time comes. Dammit, I hate being a thinker.

Another shitty luck so you get my gist. I rented a DVD to watch with my friend, but of course something went wrong. His Mac somehow couldn't play the damn thing, not that I'm surprised. I was looking forward to seeing this movie! Besides, who would have anticipated that?! I should write Murphy's Law right on my forehead!

Anyway, just feel like rambling here. Didn't mean to be such a downer about everything, ha! My mood is starting to lift up again now, seeing Before Sunset for the umpteenth times.....

Girls

I miss these people!!!

We used to be the foursome, the potluck girls, the Carrie-Samantha-Miranda-Charlotte-wannabe, the football fans, the inseparable party buddies! Now we just have our own friends and things going on. I mean, that's life, and everything can't stay the same, I guess. But they are still the best!

Remembering the time when Elsa and I used to dye each other's hair!

We just finished our home-experiment here and brought back dinner from KFC to eat at my place! Elsa's hair was still curly then! This must have been, what, probably two years back?

I could make a very long blog entry seeing all these old pictures, but maybe I'll save them for next time! Supposedly meeting babe tonight, I'm excited to catch up! :)

Anyway! It's a happy day today! Todd got a really great news and for some reason, I'm super excited for it! On another note, after much-thought contemplation, I think I'm gonna take this job. Will update more as soon as everything's confirmed.

Pizza! I'm coming! *so random there*