UK!

I'm going to UK!

Okay, more posts on that soon... Promise! 

Words of Encouragement

Dating… Are you confused? Conflicted? Kind of stuck? There’s a situation you’re in and you’re not sure why you’re in it, or how to get out of it, or if you even want to get out of it. Is it wrong? Is it right? Are you depriving yourself of something great or is this a terrible decision? All totally normal instincts to have, simultaneously.

The only thing you have to think about while dating is you. You must stay completely honest and attuned to what you want. What you really, really want and what all of you really, really wants. No half-wants or compromises. This is your life, your body and potentially your future. It needs to be right.

Think about who you want to be with. What you want from that person. Where you want to go and when. What you cannot deal with and what you can. Those are your priorities, and what your person wants. You cannot betray that, for anyone. Those are your boundaries, your dreams and what you know will make you happy. That is the ultimate goal, after all.

Even though it sounds totally logical, for whatever reason at some point in our lives we tell ourselves that we should change to try and win another. That they are better than us and we should start compromising to have them. Doing so implies you don’t love yourself enough to protect yourself, and on an evolutionary level it means your tribe will not continue on. Maybe this tendency is cultural or maybe it’s a result of our childhood scars. Wherever it comes from, we’ve all done it and it gets us nowhere. Especially not to the place we would like to be: loved and respected as we are.

You are you and you will always be that you. There is nothing wrong about that person. Everything is by definition right. Listen to yourself, and listen to all of you. What do you want? Don’t compromise that. Don’t listen to the fears, the doubts, the what-ifs. Listen to your soul, and take your time. You can’t speed up fate. If it’s not right, recognize it and move on, and don’t worry, something right will come along. You should never decide anything based on fear. Have faith in the beauty that is you, honor it, so that others may see it too.

Adventures

I love getting away to somewhere I have never been. In foreign places, everything seems more possible. I get a little bit braver and bolder to try new things, to walk new paths. I travel to experience something different, and how much greater it is to be able to share it with someone you love. The past year has been like a dream. It feels like I went to all these places for the first time, because I did it with you. Somehow being lost feels fun and adventurous. Being in extreme cold as we shivered and huddled under our jackets feel exciting. Encountering dodgy money changers and trying to bargain our ways for stuffs feel like twice the fun. I guess I have to thank you for that. For being the other half of my adventure. For experiencing all these with me. I can’t wait for many, many adventures with you.

Always.

Even after the entire world has taken me apart, there's still a part of me left for you.

All of you.

Up from hibernation

Hello there.

To whoever is still out there, hello! And glad to see you again. How long has it been, a few months, since I last graced this space with ‘long, rambling, and probably not worth reading’ words? Thanks! It’s always nice to be missed.

 I’ve been busy! But it has been a really great last couple of months!

Here’s to recap: Work – work – Bali! – work- friends getting married – work – work – Hong Kong! Cousin getting married – work – work – Bali again! work – work – more friends getting married.

 In conclusion? I’ve done up a shitload amount of work, I’ve been traveling around to keep my sanity, and generally, people just love getting married.

The secret.

I used to think that finding the right one was about the man having a list of certain qualities. If he has them, we'd be compatible and happy. Sort of a checkmark system that was a complete failure. But I found out that a healthy relationship isn't so much about sense of humor or intelligence or attractive. It's about avoiding partners with harmful traits and personality types. And then it's about being with a good person. A good person on his own, and a good person with you. Where the space between you feels uncomplicated and happy. A good relationship is where things just work. They work because, whatever the list of qualities, whatever the reason, you happen to be really, really good together.

- from Supernova

Berhentilah merasa hampa. Berhentilah minta tolong untuk dilengkapi. Berhentilah berteriak-teriak ke sesuatu di luar sana. Berhentilah bersikap seperti ikan di dalam kolam yang malah mencari-cari air. Tidak ada seorang pun mampu melengkapi apa yang sudah utuh.

Top Ten List

Here are the top 10 (but not limited, and in no chronological order) reasons why my boyfriend rules:

1) He puts up with my emotional hurryhah-ness

Just last night, I was feeling wide awake even though it was already past midnight and my brain has been yelling “go sleep, woman!” for my own good. But I couldn’t seem to fall into sleep. Even though he was busy at work, he still made time to reply to my non-important messages and entertained me on the phone until it was over 3 in the morning when I finally started feeling sleepy. He even had to eat his supper while talking to me because I was just being so damn high-maintenance. Seriously, I wouldn’t even date me. He’s really a star and I love him for putting up with all my highs and lows.

2) He makes the best love poem

On our first month anniversary, he wrote me a poem. (Actually, he insisted that the poem wasn’t done yet but I kinda forced him to give it to me. But psst. Let’s just pretend he gave it to me willingly.) It was a simple poem, written in his unruly handwritings (which I love. I love people’s handwritings, and especially his. I could be biased. Totally.) It wasn’t Shakespeare’s masterpiece, but it was the sweetest thing he could have given me at the time. I hold it dearly and it still makes me grin the widest and toothiest grin whenever I see it.

3) His constant reassuring ways to let me know that he loves me

I get jealous. I get insecure. Some other guys probably don’t have the patience to entertain their girlfriends whenever this happens. A friend of mine once shared with me that her boyfriend would just say “don’t be ridiculous” and leave it at that when she admitted of being jealous about something. My boyfriend is the most awesome, loving guy who has never failed to reassure me that I have nothing to be jealous about. He does it so perfectly that I can do nothing but believe him. Just thinking about it makes me want to run up to him and give him a super big hug right now.

4) He has just the right amount of dorkiness that complement mine perfectly

I’m a dork, and this has been pointed out by people a lot of times before. Sometimes I do ridiculous and embarrassing things just to amuse myself, like dancing around the house, or pretending to speak with an accent. But with my boyfriend, it’s not just that he understands and gets me perfectly down to my dorkiest cell, he’s also the dorkiest, most adorable person I have ever met. When everyone would just look at me and laugh whenever I did something silly, my boyfriend would crack me up by doing something even more embarrassing or taking part in the said-silly thing with me.

5) His love for movies, songs, places, pepper lunch and banana honey prata with ice cream

I could not imagine being with someone who doesn’t enjoy going to the movies, or seeing new places while traveling, or sharing my big appetite for food, and all of these things - my boyfriend is the perfect companion. We go to the movies a few times a week and we love planning for travel schemes and sharing new things together, and hey! Who would’ve known, he shares my love for crabs, pepper lunch and banana honey prata with ice cream too! Seriously, is there anything else I could ask for? He rocks.

6) His unapologetic passion for things he loves

I love people with great passion. I think it shows individuality and uniqueness as a person, and I find it really attractive. I love that my boyfriend is addicted to Transformers, I love that he knows all Manchester United players and stats at the back of his hand, and I love that during our recent visit to Dinosaurs Exhibition, he could point out all the Dino facts they got wrong and corrected them. I love that he’s unapologetic about them, and I love it even more that even though we don’t necessarily share the same passion, we find ways to always respect each other’s.

7) His patience for tolerating my cheesiness, mushiness and manjaness

I have a cheesy streak the size of a bull. And when these things hit, he patiently listens, entertains, or try to out-cheeses me, always makes me smile. He never belittles my feelings, or makes fun of these perfectly mock-able traits of mine. Instead, all of the time he hugs me and tells me that he *enter the cheesiest verb you can think of* too.

8) He has the most awesome laugh

I think we all agree that laughter is the best medicine. We can’t take life too seriously and it’s easy when your boyfriend has the most awesome laugh. Mine laughs without inhibitions, loud and infectious. His laughter is the loudest in the room, and I can’t help but laugh along, ruffling his hair playfully because he’s just so adorable.

9) His listening ear

I’m pretty convinced he must have a magic ear for always being ready to listen to my ramblings and stories (which I’m sure he’s not even remotely interested in half of the time). But he never fails to be there for me. Always. Sometimes I take this for granted, but whenever I think about it, I’m so very grateful for his constant willingness to lend me a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, or any of his other body parts for my emotional well-being.

10) He’s a writer

A great one at that. I’ve always had a thing for writers. I wish there are some better explanations for this, but I just think writers are really sexy. I love seeing his writings, a part of me cheers along whenever I see his name on the paper, and I can’t be prouder that he’s mine. (audience cue: “aaaawwww.”)

11) He reads my mind and completes my sentences

Is he secretly a Jedi? *wishful*

Okay, that was 11. Ooops.

See? I told you I have the best boyfriend in whole world.

New Year, New Beginnings.

Who doesn’t love New Year? I always find it incredibly hopeful – the mere impression that we could wash away any negative and bad experience we had in the past, and start fresh again. This year has been really kind to me, a much better one that the previous, and for that, I’m superbly grateful. I feel like at last I can rest at somewhere constant. This is true in terms of job, family and friends.

In the upcoming year, I’m sure I’m going to find new challenges. As of now, I’m already thinking about getting a new job although hearing about all the plans my boss has for next year is actually pretty exciting, so we’ll see about that. Some of my friends are getting married and it seems like everyone’s moving ahead. Or at least, just moving. Although it has been a blissful year, but I know I have to get out of my comfort zone and try something different too.

My hope for the new year is to have the courage to do just that.

Sometimes I wish I could just fast-forward the time just to see if in the end it’s all worth it, but since such time machine has yet to be invented, all we can do is continue doing our best in everything.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Almost there.

I know what I'm most grateful for this year.

You.

Quote of The Day

"When I say “I love you,” its not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, and how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what and who you are."

Everything.

I was so scared that night. I was falling in love for the first time. And I was so unsure. But I did it. And while it hasn’t been easy, it has been everything.

The best.

It’s always great seeing your good friend after a long absence. My friendship with Wazzy has always been so natural that we don’t really need to see each other in a weekly basis or update each other all the time, yet it’s like we fall right into where we left off when we meet again.

It’s been a while since I met her the last time, and I genuinely miss her. Last night we talked about anything and everything under the sun, about our work life, our travel stories and plans and our respective friends over seafood aglio olios and yummy onion rings.

It’s almost surreal to think that it’s already some two years ago when we were both rocking the clubs almost every week. She has always been there for me when I met some random jerks yet again, and I've tried my best to be there for her during a scary stalkerish situation with her ex.

I love how we can look back and remember all the great memories we’ve had together, knowing that we are still creating many more of those along the way.