Saturday, 19 October 2013

What is love?

A friend asked me recently. "What is love, to you?"

Lately I've been having a personal struggle with this. I've seen couples around me break-up, lie to each other, cheat, and it's very demotivating to me to know that love once shared can easily be broken.

If your love to someone destroys you, violate you, takes your freedom away from you, is it still love? Or is it just a desperate attempt to hang on to the idea of love that is no longer there? 

At the end of the day, we all can say love easily. Sometimes I wonder if it still has its meaning when everyone can say it loosely just for the sake of saying it. 

But there is no love without trust, kindness, patience, hope. And despite that love itself is a feeling, the rest of those things - trust, kindness, patience, have to be done actively and by choice. It's more than just a feeling, it's a way of thinking, an active decision day by day to be true to each other, never hurt one another, to forgive and not dwell on the past wrongdoings.

While it's easy to say 'I love you', it's more difficult to really follow through with everything else that comes with love. The feeling of love itself will not be enough.

After the novelty wears off, it's all about staying in love and making that decision every day. When you truly love someone, the other person's happiness becomes your own, and all those things: being honest, patient, always protects, always hopes, always perseveres - will not feel like a commitment. They will come naturally.

Let's spend time less talking, but more loving. Don't just say it, but show it.

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