I'm sorry if I've hurt your feelings. Maybe I could've dealt with this better, but I'm confused. I'm so, very confused. We always talk about honesty, and I expect that from you just as I've always been true to you.
Sometimes I wonder if this is all just a game to you, and if this is, I'm sorry, but I don't want to play. I think I'm not up for games.
There are moments in our friendship that I can look at you, and finally catch a glimpse of the real you. Not the you that everyone else says. Not the you that you portray to everyone else. Somehow I see a different side of you, a more serious and contemplative you. The you that I can relate to, talk to, rely on. These are the times that I think to myself, yeah, I can find myself trusting you and being your friend.
Isn't it very simple? Friendship doesn't have to be complicated.
And yet, something seems to be holding me back. Despite the sincere moments that we have shared together, I'm still very wary. I'm wary because I'm scared to be hurt, again. I'm wary because I've been down this road before, and.. you know me, don't you? I'm not very good in handling broken promises, betrayal, backstabbing, and all these games that people play. I'm too easily affected.
Trust is earned, not given so easily. So I'm asking you to be patient with me. I want to get there, I promise you. But how can I, when your action speaks otherwise sometimes? It's like, we're going one step forward today, but two steps backwards tomorrow. In the end, what are we doing?
I'm still drawing a blank. And when it comes to you, it's still just a question mark.
And I'm tired of guessing.. I'm tired of scrambling around to find the answer.