Welcome!: March 2010

Monday, 29 March 2010

Beautiful

We are all somewhat damaged, and in that realization we are beautiful.

Russell is my hero!

Russell's interview from CBS.com
“Because I have to put these kids in their place. I’m not done playing just yet!"

"I want to challenge myself. You know, I wanna go out there and prove that I can manipulate people. I really can get in people's heads and make them do what I want them to do. And that's exactly what I did. So, I thought that I could do it, and now I just know I could.

I've seen almost every single episode and you know, I'm the one sitting on the couch at home howling at the TV and said, 'what the hell are they thinking? You know, they need to do this, they need to do that!' So, when I got the call, I was pretty excited about it.

I think some people are gonna like me, but most people are gonna hate me. I played how I thought I should play. Everything I've done, everything, even if I was vindictive, I did it strategically. I didn't do anything on purpose that I didn't know what the results were gonna be. So, everything that I did, was a strategic plan. I could care less what people think about me. Because I went there to play the game.

The first time, I went to teach myself a lesson. And now, I'm going to teach all these brats a lesson!

You know, it took them nineteen seasons to find me. Nineteen times. They finally find someone who could dominate this game, and if they think that a bunch of all-stars are gonna come here and play with me, they got another thing coming. I'm gonna run their heads like I ran the first ones! And...it ain't gonna be no competition. I tell you right now. I'm gonna walk through it."

Wooooo! I love, love, love Russell! ;)

Tired but excited!

Howdy, all! What's the crack?

My friend always laughs at me whenever I say, "what's the crack?" He thinks I sound like a drug-dealer. Or a black person. The latter, I don't really mind since the only phrase I could come up with to get that effect is 'yoooooo' and that couldn't be more unnatural coming from a 5'2 Asian girl.

Fact #1. I just had myself measured up and my official height is 5'6 with heels on. So yeah, I'm short.

Fact #2. I came to a bank last Friday to open a new account and after a few minutes chatting up with the bank officer, he point-blanked asked my age. When I said 23, he looked surprised and replied, "Oh really? When you first came in, I thought you were just 18.."

Anyway, you may think it is a good thing that I look younger than my age. I guess some people may say it's a compliment. But I don't like it. Enough said.

Oh wow! I've been working all weekend, and it's nice to have a day off today. Aside from work, there's not much things to tell. I'm very excited of this new freelancing opportunity, though. I'll fill you in on that later when everything is confirmed, alright? But yeah, I'm very excited!

As for my real work. Bleh. It has its ups and downs. One thing to be happy about though, I finally got my visa, and to say that I'm super relieved is an understatement. Woooo, I can't wait to start planning and rearranging my life now. I'm psyched about the future!

Okay, I'm gonna stop with the mushiness. This must be the result from reading too many motivational books. Not that I'm complaining! Anyway, pictures time!

With my favorite colleagues! (Actually, everyone in my office is super, super nice!)

Homey steamboat dinner.

Dinner with babe at Timbre. :)

True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable. ♥

Sneaking a picture while working at Suntec last weekend.

And another one ;)

Sorry I've been a bleh about this blog lately! Ugh, I wish I'm more of a multi-tasker! But anyway, hope you all have a nice day. I'm gonna grab some lunch and enjoy my day off as much as humanly possible!

quote of the day

It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it's even harder to give up when you know it's everything you want.

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

the geek in me.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. :)

Sunday, 21 March 2010

from The Notebook

It’s the possibility that keeps me going… and though you may call me a dreamer or fool or any other thing, I believe that anything is possible.

font? =p

Last week I went to visit a bridal boutique to interview a designer. I haven't yet received my personal name card at that time, so I took a general office card and wrote my own name and email address there for me to give out.

When I gave the card to the lovely owner at the end of our interview, he looked at it for a while and said to me,

"What an interesting font..."

My colleague and I burst out laughing and I said, "That's my handwriting actually!"

Thursday, 18 March 2010

quote of the day

What I've learned is not to change who you are, because eventually you’re going to run out of new things to become.

tomorrow is another day.

I'm having a terrible day at work today. Things just didn't seem to be going my way, and I found myself staring at the blank cursor on Microsoft Word because words were failing me; I couldn't find the inspiration to write the things that I was supposed to write. Normally it would just take me a short while and I could get some writings done in a day, but it just seemed so heavy and difficult today.

My boss also didn't neglect to point out a mistake that I did. Well, of course she didn't.

As my spirit deflated when I finally arrived home, I browsed through my favorite blogs and came across this beautiful quote that seemed to speak right to me. At least, that's how I felt.

"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

And how true it is. Inevitably, every job has its ups and downs and mistakes are bound to be made. What good does it do for me to think and be stressed over it? It's all strictly business anyway.

So, for everyone who's also having a bad day today, don't worry. There's always another day. So smile and forget today. I'm lucky I can go home to a warm, loving family that never fails to make me feel better just by being themselves.

Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Survivor Fan

"Tomorrow we make our apologies, tonight we make our move."

- Tom Westman on Survivor: Heroes vs Villains.

I dislike all the members in the Heroes tribe except for Tom. He's the single most decent and honorable player there, and I'm really upset to see him get eliminated. Stupid b****es and dodos.

That quote is powerful so I shall leave you with it. Good night :)

9:15 am

You may think that climbing up 6 storeys of stairs is a good idea of exercise.

Well. Not when you are sleepy at 9 in the morning and caffeine-deficit. I would argue that it could even be dangerous. Shut your eyes for one second and you may roll down those stairs like a doughnut. Lose a split moment of concentration and you may end up with half your leg. Or brain.

See, it’s not a good idea to take the stairs to the office every morning.

But the elevator in my office building is under renovation, so if you don’t want to take the cargo lift (which is really in poor and scary condition), you are left with no other choice but take the damn stairs.

At least give the girl a plate of McD’s big breakfast first, will ya?

Monday, 15 March 2010

Quote of the Day

A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other. Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever.

Random catch-up.

I feel good starting work again! And with all the wedding fairs coming up, plus the website and the magazine, it sure is gonna be a packed month, and for once I'm not complaining. Bring it on!

I guess I can talk a little more about my time in Jakarta, but there really isn't much to say at all. Most of the time I'm with my dad and I realize I'm getting more and more like a kid whenever I'm around him. I wonder if it's just a way to compensate a loss of a parental figure, and now since Dad is the only one I've got, I'm scared of losing him.

It's good that now he's busy with his activities at the sport club and travelling with his friends. I'm down with everything that keeps him occupied, and we'd always love it when he comes to visit. Blah, I so have an Oedipus complex. Okay, not that extreme.

I'm excited about life now! And I'm so grateful I have amazing friends to share it with. This year is gonna be better, I can feel it.

Have a great week ahead, guys!

Friday, 12 March 2010

List

Top five songs this week:

1. Timbaland feat Katy Perry - If We Ever Meet Again
2. Justin Bieber feat Ludacris - Baby
3. Boys Like Girls feat Taylor Swift - Two is Better Than One
4. Black Gold - Shine
5. The Fine Frenzy - Happier

♥ ♥ ♥

You are the waves; I am the ocean.

Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think.

Will write again, soon! =)

Two words:

I'm back!!!! ♥ ♥

When sadness was the sea, you were the one that taught me to swim.

Everything's complicated, even those things that seem flat in their bleakness or sadness.

You can never replace anyone because everyone is made up of such beautiful specific details.

I think when you get to the point where you don't need to be in love, then you could be in love. You have to just be OK with yourself-and that's a long process.

Words and hearts should be handled with care.. for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest thing to repair.

It seems to me now that the plain state of being human is dramatic enough for anyone; you don't need to be a heroin addict or a performance poet to experience extremity. You just have to love someone.

It's just that I don't want to be somebody's crush. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don't want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it too.

The best and most beautiful things in life cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.

Quotes

There's a hundred million different ways of writing, and it takes you a long time to sort through that stuff. And I think it takes anyone a long time to find a voice.

You must learn to take the good with the bad, the happy with the sad, love what you’ve got and remember what you had. Learn to forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change and things go wrong, but you just have to remember that life goes on.

The day before I’m supposed to be meeting Caroline for a drink, I develop all the textbook symptoms of a crush: nervous stomach, long periods spent daydreaming, an inability to remember what she looks like. I can bring back the dress and the boots, and I can see her bangs, but her face is a blank.

I don't know, I think that if I could just accept the fact that my life is supposed to be difficult. You know, that's what to be expected, then I might not get so pissed-off about it and I'll just be glad when something nice happens.

I can see now I never really committed to Laura. I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments.

There's a big fucking world out there. It's messy, and it's chaotic, and it's never, never ever the thing you'd expect. It is ok to be scared, but you cannot allow your fears to turn you into an asshole, not when it comes to the people that love you, the people that need you.

Maybe what I'm saying is, is the world might be evolving the way a person evolves. Right? Like, I mean, me for example. Am I getting worse? Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier, but I was, uh, whacked with insecurity, you know? Now I'm older and my problems are deeper, but I'm more equipped to handle them.

I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

A woman needs to be held, even, and science has shown this, if its with someone she doesn't care about. Protective hormones are released, and the amount of hormones released depends on the degree to which she is held. The first and best is the complete surround. He wraps you in both arms, whispers how beautiful you are. Second best is the 'arm around.' He is next to you but with one arm around you. Third is he's just next to you on his elbow, but he rests his hand on your stomach and looks at you. Fourth is you snuggling up to him with your head on his chest, while he looks away into space. But when the first best happens, you feel completely, wonderfully like a woman.

So, so what, so fuck off, go home, leave you alone? I'll tell you something Paul, there isn't anything that I've wanted for eighteen years, cause I was a kid eighteen years ago. And if I did still want the same things I'd think I'd gone wrong somewhere, because actually I don't want to marry David Cassidy, I don't want bigger tits, I don't want to do better on my marks. I've stopped worrying about that kind of thing and maybe you should try.

Well maybe there's a big bit of you that's gone missing somewhere, maybe everyone should want something they've always wanted.

Why is it that adults aren't supposed to go mad about anything? You gotta keep a lid on it. And if you don't then people are apparently entitled to say what they like. "You haven't grown up. You're a moron. Your conversation is trivial and boorish. You can't express your emotional needs. You can't relate to your children." And you die, lonely and miserable. But you know, what the hell, every cloud has a silver lining.

I just woke up one morning and didn't feel the same way. Where did it go? It was like there had been a lot of food on a plate in front of us, and we ate it all really quickly, and then there was nothing left. Maybe that's how couples stay together: they're not greedy. They know that what they have in front of them has to last a long time, so they kind of pick at it. I hope it's not like that, though. I hope that when people are happy together, it feels as though someone keeps piling seconds and thirds on their plates.

That is what I have learned: Sex is destructive. Love is nothing to be fooled with. I learned that I was dangerous, not to be trusted. I wondered if my parents were right, with all of their stiff lovelessness. Maybe they knew better. My parents don't dole out love for the deserving or the undeserving. I was learning that love could cost me.

You could say all you liked about reason and logic and common sense and imagination, but when the chips were down, the one skill you needed was the ability to think about absolutely nothing whatsoever.

There is a comfort in never making an effort, but it's a lonely comfort. What keeps you going is the knowledge that you're only playing with only four cards showing. But when you see other people succeeding with their mediocre hands, you have to make a decision. If you turn over that final card you're certain of victory, but it also means you have nothing in reserve.

I’d gone through life believing in the strength and competence of others; never in my own. Now, dazzled, I discovered that my capacities were real. It was like finding a fortune in the lining of an old coat.

Maybe we all live life at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as mere consequence we can never feel merely content: we have to be unhappy, or ecstatically, head-over-heels happy, and those states are difficult to achieve within a stable, solid relationship.