Welcome!: September 2009

Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Back!

I'm BACK!!!!!!!!!

I'm PUMPED! And that's all capital letters for you! =)

I haven't disappeared from the face of the earth, please! Well yes, I've been 'evicted' to a place without the luxury of internet! Oh how I've been taking this for granted, my sweet sweet internet. Anyway, to be fair, it's not like I had absolutely no internet or anything, in fact, I had my blackberry which allowed me to be online 24/7. So why am I complaining, you ask?

Well. First of all, have you ever tried typing and chatting away for hours with blackberry keypads?! I could still maintain a steady speed, which meant I was typing furiously non-stop without breathing. Now it's not really as easy as it sounds. If I could put that under 'skills' on my resume, I would. Not everyone can do that, I'm telling you.

Yeah. So I'm pretty happy to be back here with my laptop where I can effortlessly dominate all conversation in messenger. Ha! Ehem, not that I want to dominate or anything. Eh, I'm just saying.

Okay, I'm not gonna write much now, 'cos I have lots of catching up to do. You know, videos to watch, songs to download. Ehem. But I'm back! Damn happy to be here! And also, I'm in the 'redecorating room' mode. So, we'll see what's gonna happen.

xoxo

Sunday, 6 September 2009

Cooking and Saturday night

Happy Sunday everyone!

I know, I'm way too cheerful for a Sunday morning! Well, not really, it's technically afternoon, ehem. We just cooked mac and cheese for lunch in the household, yo! And we didn't burn anything and it turned out pretty bloody good! Now that's what I call 'teamwork'!

(Yeah, we would lie through our gritted teeth even if it tasted bad, 'cos we wouldn't wanna admit we brought no good in the kitchen.) Not that I was speaking about myself.

I really have developed more and more interest in cooking these days! But the level of it isn't suitable for the general public yet, so I don't foresee myself inviting people over for dinner anytime soon. Hey, we gotta start somewhere, right? My family is the only people I know who would still love me even if I poison their insides. Others? I can't be sure. Hence.

But aside from babbling about my newfound talent (if you can call it that), I also wanna write about the great evening I had last night! We started out with this really gigantic, enormous, gluttinous dinner at a steamboat place near Bugis, and boy, I felt like my stomach was gonna explode!

It was just the two of us, and we ordered so much food like we were feeding the entire third world's countries! And you gotta see the fish steamboat! The size of it! For the life of me, I have never been that full (and so satisfied)! I especially loved the hot plate beancurd too. We finished everything though, (even though it almost killed us with pleasure) and it was amazing I could still stand up and walk right after that. I guess there is such thing as miracle in this world. I witnessed it firsthand.

After the dinner, we drove up to Labrador Park for a stroll (or to be exact, to walk this fishmeat which are still swimming inside our stomach), and it was my first time there! It was soooo pretty! You could practically see Sentosa island from there, and all the lights and ships and the sea! Surprisingly, I saw a lot of people and families fishing in there. It was kind of a heartwarming sight, like, the father and son bonded over fishing. Okay, maybe I was just being sentimentil. We walked right to the pier, to the end where we couldn't move forward anymore and there was just sea in front of us. It was really special.

I felt a lot better by then and we strolled right back to the car, blasted the music to the maximum volume and sang our hearts out. Oh, okay, I mean, I sang my heart out. My friend was just driving and shooting me amused look. What, never seen a girl sing? I just totally love driving at night when the road is deserted and all your hear is the music and your own heartbeat. Don't you think so? Very liberating!

We then made a stop at Holland Village to have some drinks! (What, the stomach for food is totally different from the one for beer! I especially have special 'compartment' for beer. Haha!) We had this smooth and fruity french beer, and bloody hell, my friend ordered pepperoni pizza! Goodness gracious, I can't imagine he could still eat after that crazy dinner!

It says 'fruity, imported', and 'refreshing' on the glass. Refreshing indeed.

The pizza. I took a bite and honestly couldn't eat anymore! He's so freaky, where did all the food go?!

We were at Wala Wala, by the way, and I love that place. We went upstairs to check out the live band but it was so full there weren't any place to sit. Downstairs, we could talk and watch (wait, take your pick) rugby, tennis, and football match. Three screens and all equally loaded with testosterone.

Had to call it a night, cos it was so late, but I was happy and lightheaded, too happy to feel sleepy.

During our way home, Good Girls Go Bad was blasting through the airwaves, and I'm constantly hooked on that tune, I think I kinda lost control at that point. Haha.

Last night was just so spontaneous and easy, I had so much fun!

Anyway, on another note, I'll be back in Jakarta for two weeks pretty soon, I wish I can still blog along the way, but I'm not sure how kind the internet connection will be out there, but I'm quite excited about going home actually! So this is gonna be good . . .

Have a good Sunday, everyone!

Saturday, 5 September 2009

'Still'

I must give the impression

That I have the answers for everything

You were so disappointed

To see me unravel so easily

But it's only change

Only everything I know

Even the things that seem still

Are still changing

flu

The only thing worst than having a toothache and a flu, is having a flu.

Seriously. May sound simple enough, but it's irritating as fuck.

I woke up this morning yet with another stubborn flu. And normally I would curse, let it rest, and just swing with it. What else can you do, right? But now, upon my departure to Jakarta pretty soon, my current state of flu and mild fever are hardly good signs. Wait, they are bloody bad signs.

So now the challenge is to recover from it fully before Tuesday, which is what, 3 days away? No problemo. Easy as fuck.

unleashed

Disaster from webcamming with baby Sis!

We should be kept away from anything resembling a camera, goodness gracious.

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

3 Things

I'm so utterly hooked on 24 again! Gosh gosh gosh, it's definitely one of the best series ever! This 7th season is actually really, really great! Pardon me, I have a feeling I'll be talking about this for some days to come!

Another thing I'm currently hooked on - Cobra Starship's 'Good Girls Go Bad'! Danced to this many times at the club, just never knew the title. Yes, and the fact that I quickly forgot about it the next day. Normally I would have another persisting thing to worry about - like hangover. Yesh. So, thanks to Wazzy for sending me this song! She's my daily fix when it comes to party songs. The girl practically knows each and every song in Attica's playlist!

One last thing! I'm addicted to Twitter! (Well, not like it's news) I remember the first time my friend invited me to this thing, I was beyond baffled. I saw neither the point nor the fun. Fast forward to many months down the road, now I'm just a sucker for this! I like checking out famous people and my friends' updates!

Anyhow! Just an impulsive post here! I'm in the middle of watching 24 actually. Thought I'd take a little break to stretch! So gonna get back to it real soon.

Right after I tweet!

Could be something great

It's been so long since we all met up for a good, fun, cracking night! And that's why I'm so excited about tomorrow!

But right now I'm still having a 'to go, or not to go' moment because oh well. Things. If it were up to me, I'll have prepared, polished, and worn my dancing shoes by now!

Oh, the anticipation!

Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Story of my life

This is so me.

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com

Music and mood

First of all, let me say a big warm thank you to my friend Greg for introducing me to this amazing song by Josh Ritter called 'Good Man'. Dude, I'm holding you fully responsible. I've been playing this song constantly all evening!

You know, when it comes to food, I always set aside my most favorite dish for last. The mushroom, the cheese, the best part of the meat, the crispy skin in KFC chicken. On some occasions, I believe it's best to prolong the pleasure on the things you do just so you can indulge in it longer.

But in music, I would play and repeat the song that I like as many times as I can, the faster the better. With more intensity and I derive joy from the melody and lyrics the more I listen to it. It's as if I'm testing the tune to see if it can hold my interest even after it's been played for fifty times in a row.

Also, I've been listening to this tune my other friend Todd posted on his music site. It's called Chicane, and it's basically just an instrumental tune. I really love it. Imagine spending Friday night lounging with your friends, sipping cocktails and having a good, stress-free time. Dim lights and beautiful people. This tune is so perfect for chill-out! Loving it. In fact, I'm listening to it right now as I'm writing this.

Instrumentals just have their ways of getting us into such mood. Like exactly this. And I can get really mellow when I start listening to movie soundtracks. One of my favorite is Pearl Harbor's tune which is so beautifully sad. A couple of years ago I used to fall asleep with the radio playing classical music plastered on my ear. It helped me to sleep better, and I remembered just feeling so light and peaceful then.

I don't really know why I stopped doing it. Maturity? Or quite the opposite?

When sadness was the sea, you were the one that taught me to swim.

Everything's complicated, even those things that seem flat in their bleakness or sadness.

You can never replace anyone because everyone is made up of such beautiful specific details.

I think when you get to the point where you don't need to be in love, then you could be in love. You have to just be OK with yourself-and that's a long process.

Words and hearts should be handled with care.. for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest thing to repair.

It seems to me now that the plain state of being human is dramatic enough for anyone; you don't need to be a heroin addict or a performance poet to experience extremity. You just have to love someone.

It's just that I don't want to be somebody's crush. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don't want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it too.

The best and most beautiful things in life cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.

Quotes

There's a hundred million different ways of writing, and it takes you a long time to sort through that stuff. And I think it takes anyone a long time to find a voice.

You must learn to take the good with the bad, the happy with the sad, love what you’ve got and remember what you had. Learn to forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change and things go wrong, but you just have to remember that life goes on.

The day before I’m supposed to be meeting Caroline for a drink, I develop all the textbook symptoms of a crush: nervous stomach, long periods spent daydreaming, an inability to remember what she looks like. I can bring back the dress and the boots, and I can see her bangs, but her face is a blank.

I don't know, I think that if I could just accept the fact that my life is supposed to be difficult. You know, that's what to be expected, then I might not get so pissed-off about it and I'll just be glad when something nice happens.

I can see now I never really committed to Laura. I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments.

There's a big fucking world out there. It's messy, and it's chaotic, and it's never, never ever the thing you'd expect. It is ok to be scared, but you cannot allow your fears to turn you into an asshole, not when it comes to the people that love you, the people that need you.

Maybe what I'm saying is, is the world might be evolving the way a person evolves. Right? Like, I mean, me for example. Am I getting worse? Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier, but I was, uh, whacked with insecurity, you know? Now I'm older and my problems are deeper, but I'm more equipped to handle them.

I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

A woman needs to be held, even, and science has shown this, if its with someone she doesn't care about. Protective hormones are released, and the amount of hormones released depends on the degree to which she is held. The first and best is the complete surround. He wraps you in both arms, whispers how beautiful you are. Second best is the 'arm around.' He is next to you but with one arm around you. Third is he's just next to you on his elbow, but he rests his hand on your stomach and looks at you. Fourth is you snuggling up to him with your head on his chest, while he looks away into space. But when the first best happens, you feel completely, wonderfully like a woman.

So, so what, so fuck off, go home, leave you alone? I'll tell you something Paul, there isn't anything that I've wanted for eighteen years, cause I was a kid eighteen years ago. And if I did still want the same things I'd think I'd gone wrong somewhere, because actually I don't want to marry David Cassidy, I don't want bigger tits, I don't want to do better on my marks. I've stopped worrying about that kind of thing and maybe you should try.

Well maybe there's a big bit of you that's gone missing somewhere, maybe everyone should want something they've always wanted.

Why is it that adults aren't supposed to go mad about anything? You gotta keep a lid on it. And if you don't then people are apparently entitled to say what they like. "You haven't grown up. You're a moron. Your conversation is trivial and boorish. You can't express your emotional needs. You can't relate to your children." And you die, lonely and miserable. But you know, what the hell, every cloud has a silver lining.

I just woke up one morning and didn't feel the same way. Where did it go? It was like there had been a lot of food on a plate in front of us, and we ate it all really quickly, and then there was nothing left. Maybe that's how couples stay together: they're not greedy. They know that what they have in front of them has to last a long time, so they kind of pick at it. I hope it's not like that, though. I hope that when people are happy together, it feels as though someone keeps piling seconds and thirds on their plates.

That is what I have learned: Sex is destructive. Love is nothing to be fooled with. I learned that I was dangerous, not to be trusted. I wondered if my parents were right, with all of their stiff lovelessness. Maybe they knew better. My parents don't dole out love for the deserving or the undeserving. I was learning that love could cost me.

You could say all you liked about reason and logic and common sense and imagination, but when the chips were down, the one skill you needed was the ability to think about absolutely nothing whatsoever.

There is a comfort in never making an effort, but it's a lonely comfort. What keeps you going is the knowledge that you're only playing with only four cards showing. But when you see other people succeeding with their mediocre hands, you have to make a decision. If you turn over that final card you're certain of victory, but it also means you have nothing in reserve.

I’d gone through life believing in the strength and competence of others; never in my own. Now, dazzled, I discovered that my capacities were real. It was like finding a fortune in the lining of an old coat.

Maybe we all live life at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as mere consequence we can never feel merely content: we have to be unhappy, or ecstatically, head-over-heels happy, and those states are difficult to achieve within a stable, solid relationship.