Welcome!: April 2011

Thursday, 28 April 2011

Faith.

What's meant to be will always find a way.

Sunday, 24 April 2011

Oh hello there! I have come back from the cave and I miss you all! (although, since I’m the only one who write and read this anyway, I might as well say that I miss myself, which is pretty self-centred and shameless.)

April is surely an exciting month because I never thought I would go and see The Script Live in concert!

I’ve loved The Script since ‘The Man Who Can’t Be Moved’, which seemed like a long time ago! The band has never made it exceptionally big here like, say, Jason Mraz (whom I also have loved since ‘You and I Both’. But he just made it big since ‘I’m Yours’, and now I have that protective feeling whenever people say they’re big fans of him and all I want to say is “No! I like him first! I’m his bigger fan!”)

I can’t think of a better band to see live though. I have a lot of bands and singers that I liked, and I’m sure plenty of them have had concerts in Singapore in the past, but I wonder why I never truly bothered to watch. When I heard on the radio one morning in early March that The Script is coming for one night concert here, I immediately bought the ticket, just like that, on the same day as soon as I reached office!

Now, that surely means something, right? The fact that I bought it almost two months in advance made the anticipation much more exciting and all the more when I found out a week before the concert that my dear friend was going too!

The D-Day itself couldn’t be more dramatic as my lil sister and I made our way to Fort Canning about 2 hours earlier. We knew it’s a standing concert so of course we didn’t want to be stuck right in the very end of the line. We’re very aware of our limitations when it comes to height, and we’re not planning to stand behind a tall person all throughout the concert!

It started drizzling when we reached and there was already a long line forming. We took our queue and stood there waiting for 2 hours under the rain which just got even heavier as time passed by and the organizer had to give away ponchos.

The demographic of the crowds was pretty obvious. A lot of Caucasians and Malay teenagers screaming and yelling even long before the concert began. At that time when I was squeezed and pushed around by obnoxious, loud Caucasians, I thought, “I never know Caucasians could be THIS annoying!” And maybe I’m just generalizing here, but bear with me, okay? They were really loud and inconsiderate, constantly cutting people’s lines and kept moving around, poking and nudging me every two seconds, never realizing that they were pushing people and pissing us off.

A big person in front of me kept pulling something from her bag, putting it back in, moving around and looking behind, bobbing her head non-stop and consider that we were in such close proximity to each other that even a bob of her head sent her ponytail flying right in my face every time and her pulling things from her bag nudged all parts of my body and my goodness, it was torture.

It must have been a good hour before the concert even started; all of us standing like sardines while the DJ was trying to fill in some time by playing current songs.

At first we were excitedly singing along to Rihanna’s ‘What’s My Name’ and Jessie J’s ‘Price Tag’, but after a while, we just wanted The Script to come up on stage!

And once that happened. Wow. That’s all I can say. It was amazing. Amazing, amazing, amazing. The whole concert, it boils down as one of the most memorable experiences I will never, ever forget!

Their energy was infectious and they sang all the songs we wanted them to sing. They started with tunes like ‘If You Come Back’, ‘Science and Faith’, ‘If You See Kay’, and more, before they finished the show with ‘For The First Time’ and ‘Break Even’!

The whole thing was a blur, we were screaming and singing along at the top of our lungs until we no longer felt the rain and the humidity around us.

It truly was amazing! And I realize I probably use the word ‘amazing’ too much here, but there’s no other word to describe the experience.

If I loved The Script before, I am even more obsessed with them now! I kept listening to their songs all over again, reading their interviews about the meanings of each song, watching their live performances on YouTube, oh man, I think I’m borderline stalking ‘em now.

Okay I realize I'm really crappy at taking pictures, because all I have is a lousy phone camera and a semi-decent digital camera that wouldn't zoom as close as I hoped for. But we really were standing pretty close to the stage! I feel like I could almost touch Danny, who is frikkin gorgeous, by the way!

So let me just show you the pictures they took themselves during the concert which they posted on Twitter!

BOOM! Isn't that amazing!

Because I was standing quite in the front, I never knew how big the place really was, and how many people actually filled in the area, and only when I saw this picture, I knew what the band was seeing: a truly massive crowds of fans! It was just amazing!

Ah, now I feel like stalking and watching their videos again! So before I finish this post, let me post another picture of them that they took. Had nothing to do with the concert but man, isn't Danny gorgeous!

♥ ♥

In Pictures

Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.

Thursday, 14 April 2011

Apart.

Sometimes we waste too much time to think about someone who doesn't even think about us for a second.

People change. Feelings change. It doesn't mean that the love once shared wasn't true and real. It simply just means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart.

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

The Notebook.

In times of grief and sorrow I will hold you and rock you, and take your grief and make it my own.

When you cry, I cry, and when you hurt, I hurt. And together we will try to hold back the floods of tears and despair and make it through thee potholed streets of life.

When sadness was the sea, you were the one that taught me to swim.

Everything's complicated, even those things that seem flat in their bleakness or sadness.

You can never replace anyone because everyone is made up of such beautiful specific details.

I think when you get to the point where you don't need to be in love, then you could be in love. You have to just be OK with yourself-and that's a long process.

Words and hearts should be handled with care.. for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest thing to repair.

It seems to me now that the plain state of being human is dramatic enough for anyone; you don't need to be a heroin addict or a performance poet to experience extremity. You just have to love someone.

It's just that I don't want to be somebody's crush. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don't want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it too.

The best and most beautiful things in life cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.

Quotes

There's a hundred million different ways of writing, and it takes you a long time to sort through that stuff. And I think it takes anyone a long time to find a voice.

You must learn to take the good with the bad, the happy with the sad, love what you’ve got and remember what you had. Learn to forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change and things go wrong, but you just have to remember that life goes on.

The day before I’m supposed to be meeting Caroline for a drink, I develop all the textbook symptoms of a crush: nervous stomach, long periods spent daydreaming, an inability to remember what she looks like. I can bring back the dress and the boots, and I can see her bangs, but her face is a blank.

I don't know, I think that if I could just accept the fact that my life is supposed to be difficult. You know, that's what to be expected, then I might not get so pissed-off about it and I'll just be glad when something nice happens.

I can see now I never really committed to Laura. I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments.

There's a big fucking world out there. It's messy, and it's chaotic, and it's never, never ever the thing you'd expect. It is ok to be scared, but you cannot allow your fears to turn you into an asshole, not when it comes to the people that love you, the people that need you.

Maybe what I'm saying is, is the world might be evolving the way a person evolves. Right? Like, I mean, me for example. Am I getting worse? Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier, but I was, uh, whacked with insecurity, you know? Now I'm older and my problems are deeper, but I'm more equipped to handle them.

I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

A woman needs to be held, even, and science has shown this, if its with someone she doesn't care about. Protective hormones are released, and the amount of hormones released depends on the degree to which she is held. The first and best is the complete surround. He wraps you in both arms, whispers how beautiful you are. Second best is the 'arm around.' He is next to you but with one arm around you. Third is he's just next to you on his elbow, but he rests his hand on your stomach and looks at you. Fourth is you snuggling up to him with your head on his chest, while he looks away into space. But when the first best happens, you feel completely, wonderfully like a woman.

So, so what, so fuck off, go home, leave you alone? I'll tell you something Paul, there isn't anything that I've wanted for eighteen years, cause I was a kid eighteen years ago. And if I did still want the same things I'd think I'd gone wrong somewhere, because actually I don't want to marry David Cassidy, I don't want bigger tits, I don't want to do better on my marks. I've stopped worrying about that kind of thing and maybe you should try.

Well maybe there's a big bit of you that's gone missing somewhere, maybe everyone should want something they've always wanted.

Why is it that adults aren't supposed to go mad about anything? You gotta keep a lid on it. And if you don't then people are apparently entitled to say what they like. "You haven't grown up. You're a moron. Your conversation is trivial and boorish. You can't express your emotional needs. You can't relate to your children." And you die, lonely and miserable. But you know, what the hell, every cloud has a silver lining.

I just woke up one morning and didn't feel the same way. Where did it go? It was like there had been a lot of food on a plate in front of us, and we ate it all really quickly, and then there was nothing left. Maybe that's how couples stay together: they're not greedy. They know that what they have in front of them has to last a long time, so they kind of pick at it. I hope it's not like that, though. I hope that when people are happy together, it feels as though someone keeps piling seconds and thirds on their plates.

That is what I have learned: Sex is destructive. Love is nothing to be fooled with. I learned that I was dangerous, not to be trusted. I wondered if my parents were right, with all of their stiff lovelessness. Maybe they knew better. My parents don't dole out love for the deserving or the undeserving. I was learning that love could cost me.

You could say all you liked about reason and logic and common sense and imagination, but when the chips were down, the one skill you needed was the ability to think about absolutely nothing whatsoever.

There is a comfort in never making an effort, but it's a lonely comfort. What keeps you going is the knowledge that you're only playing with only four cards showing. But when you see other people succeeding with their mediocre hands, you have to make a decision. If you turn over that final card you're certain of victory, but it also means you have nothing in reserve.

I’d gone through life believing in the strength and competence of others; never in my own. Now, dazzled, I discovered that my capacities were real. It was like finding a fortune in the lining of an old coat.

Maybe we all live life at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as mere consequence we can never feel merely content: we have to be unhappy, or ecstatically, head-over-heels happy, and those states are difficult to achieve within a stable, solid relationship.