Domestic.

I was suddenly possessed by the spirit of Martha Stewart over the weekend. Yeah, scary, huh? I felt so domestic to the point that I decided to cook my sisters and cousin a hearty dinner.

They complained and objected the idea, but I insisted. I might have even threatened them a little. But I told you, I was possessed. Even on Saturday as we went grocery shopping, I could not contain my excitement. Running wildly from aisle to aisle, I picked up pasta and spaghetti sauce and tom yum soup paste and mushrooms and carrots and potatoes as if my life depended on it.

Anyway, everyone was pretty busy on Sunday so I offered to make baked pasta for dinner. It wasn’t rocket science, really. I was a little ashamed that I couldn’t impress you more by saying I made, um, risotto with scallops or something fancier like that. But perhaps you would be slightly impressed too by ‘baked pasta’, right until I told you how simple and easy the process actually was. A 5-year old kid could make that too. And then, your impressed-face would disappear as fast as my money after payday.

All I did was washing, chopping, boiling, mixing, adding sauce and salt and tada! Putting it in the oven and voila!

Hey, don’t look at me that way. Actually I enjoy cooking once in a while if there’s an occasion and an audience (even though I would have to force them into eating it.)

The problem is that I’m a lazy bum who would rather sleep and wake up to a well-prepared, all-ready, take-away food than cooking it from scratch.

Well, nobody’s perfect.

(Are you holding back the urge to throw up? Cos I kinda am.)

Tumblr.

Tumblr, tumblr, tumblr.

Join me here.

It will be a lot easier to update pictures and short posts over there, so I'm gonna try updating it more often since I don't have much time to blog properly these days.

Anyway. Thanks for sticking by and I'll see you soon!

The View.

From up here, everything seems perfect.

Come to think of it, Singapore's not so bad at all.

Back.

This is why I can never have a baby. I have a short attention span. I can't exactly neglect and abandon a baby like I do to my blog and my 101 other hobbies, can I?

I'm sorry in advance that I haven't been writing at all for the past few weeks. Ever since I've been back from my trip back home, I've been a basket case, a PMS kid in horrible mood swings and uncontrollable temper tantrums.

In short, I've been homesick and thus, in no condition to be writing.

Instead, I came back to work in full speed, taking no craps from annoying customers, and did a lot of writings for the company's magazine. I detached myself from personal life for a while as a way to deny reality and the fact that I was feeling so unmotivated and slightly lethargic.

It's been almost three weeks and I'm feeling a little better. But I wonder, why is it that nothing really excites me anymore these days?

I long for the days when I look forward to the next day, knowing I would do something useful. Or, when I spend an hour or two getting ready for a date because I'm so excited.

Is it a matter of the job which doesn't give me the mental stimulation, or is it me, who simply is going through a dry phase? I don't know, maybe a little of both.

As if to compensate for the lack of fighting spirit, I'm throwing myself to work even deeper these days. I know, that doesn't make any sense, but it happens.

Come to think of it, I've been in a committed relationship with my job for 8 months now. Eight! I know it doesn't seem that long, but it is! If I were seeing a man, this would be the time when I started getting a rash.

But I guess that what being committed essentially is. So I'm going to tough it up, grow up, act like an adult and brace the storm.

Stop

I'm scared that I'm not good enough for you. I'm scared that you see my many imperfections. I'm scared that I'm not worth keeping.

You're afraid that I may look somewhere else. You're afraid your sense of humour is beginning to bore me. You're afraid I'm never going to let you in.

Can we just drop our worries and fear and stop thinking for a second? And who knows, we might have gotten somewhere.

What I learn from my waitressing job.

Adopting a robotic smile
Saying 'thank you' even when you were given rubbish
Looking perky even though my outfits were drowning me. (think: oversized shirt and an even bigger apron)
Carrying a number of bowls of ramen at one-go
Pouring hot-plate sauce
Checking out cute customers
Working a 12-hour shift
Socializing with chefs
Sweeping and mopping floors daily
Checking out cute customers
Acting busy in front of the owner
Knowing the menu inside out 'til the sight of a big hot bowl of ramen made me slightly nauseous.
Checking out cute customers
Checking out cute customers

Oops, wait. I said that already.

Shameless Dance

So it's day 2 in "Let's Write Everyday" Challenge. Haha, nah. I think labeling it as a challenge is just making it doomed to fail. I don't like labels, ha!

Anyway, I want to share with you this weird thing happening to me last night. I was suddenly hit with an intense epiphany, so strong and overpowering that I started dancing around the house shamelessly much to everyone's horror.

I started with a dance around my room accompanied with an Olly Murs' track I couldn't get enough of these days, and then my sister came home from work so I proceeded swaying and pulling off dorky dance moves across the living and dining room like a spastic.

I don't know, but I was just so happy without reason and I get hyper when I'm happy. If I have to explain it, perhaps these were the contributing factors of my sudden epiphany:

1.I was really, really excited of coming home this weekend and it was just 5 days away!

2.I just finished watching The Sweetest Thing on cable tv; the one with Cameron Diaz. It was a total feel-good chick lit movie which made you feel like you've just wasted an hour of your live, yet, for some weird reason, it cheered you up and you enjoyed it tremendously (although you wouldn't admit it to your date.)

3.I was currently obsessed with this Olly Murs' song and it was such an easy-listening, feel-good track you couldn't help but to sway to.

I guess it was a combination of them all, so I was just really, really happy last night. My sisters and cousin looked at me like I was crazy, but it wasn't the first time I danced around the house or behaved like I'm 10 years old, so they were quite forgiving and less judgmental.

If I could be this happy and high everyday, who needs booze anymore, seriously?

Writing and M. Night Shyamalan.

You: "Can you promise me one thing?"
Me: "Yeah, what is it?"
You: "Promise me that you would write everyday."
Me: "What am I gonna write about everyday?"
You: "Anything. Just anything you feel like writing. Just..do it."

I don't know if this is gonna take me anywhere. I lack of commitment just as it is. But I'm gonna try..for at least a week? Haha.

I feel like talking about DEVIL today. I've been apprehensive to see it since it was out in the cinema because I hate, and just hate, horror movies. I'm the perfect epitome of a panicked, dramatic and jumpy audience who would probably pee her pants every time a scary scene or a sudden noise comes out in the screen. I hate being afraid and I'm not afraid to show it.

But you know, as a follower of M. Night Shyamalan, one should know that he never made horror movies just out of the desire to scare the audience off. The difference is that he always, always have a scary story to begin with. So he doesn't really have to do much about it. Good chance that we would pee our pants ourselves after realizing what happened, if that makes sense?

I really like how the story unfold. It left you guessing right from the beginning. The concept was simple: five persons trapped in the elevator, and one of them was the Devil. There's a reason why these people were there, though, although it seemed random at first: they were no angels. They were flawed: one a liar, a thief, you know, things like that.

In a way, it was like the devil wanted to punish them for their mistakes. He took their lives; these people who didn't own up to their faults.

As a kid, my sisters and I liked reading mystery comics, and there was one author that we really liked. I think she's made a story out of something similar like this. If I'm not mistaken, there were people trapped in the lift too, and they ended up killing each other. When the police finally opened the door, everyone died, and there was this cockroach coming out of the elevator. This cockroach turned out to be the devil, and as it slipped out, he said, "Hmm. I didn't even do anything. I just accidentally touched someone in there, and they ended up killing each other by themselves.."

The morale of the story? Sometimes people are bad enough by themselves.

The movie ended with a little line that goes like this: "My mother always told me not to fear the Devil, because if the Devil is real, than God must be real too."

Gave me chills.

I miss you.

When I was still in school and living back home, every time I was sick, I would just lay down and sleep in my room for hours until I heard my mom coming in. She would turn on the light, and feel my forehead. She would sit by me and ask me how I was feeling, and she would know exactly what to do.

She’s say, “Tin, let’s go to the doctor. Get ready, okay?” and she would accompany me to the doctor even though she just came back from work herself.

I miss those times when I could just be a ‘child’, and have someone take care of me. In any circumstances, my mom always knew what to do. She told me that I shouldn’t take a shower at night when I was having a fever. She knew what to do when I was having pain in my stomach, when there were marks and itches in my skin, when my nose was bleeding, and every other possible scenario. I trust her with all my life.

She never failed to be there for me whenever I needed anything. She was the most selfless person I knew and I really missed her. I miss her every single day, and I really, really miss her when I get sick because it reminds me how it would be if she was still around.

My sister is the next best thing. She’s becoming a mother figure that my little sister and I look up to. She just accompanied me to the doctor and in that simple gesture, she reminded me of our mom, and then I realized that I’m never truly alone.

It’s too late to beg you not to take my mom away from me. But please. Don’t ever, ever take anyone else in my life. They are all I have.

Wall.

For Tom Hansen, this was the night where everything changed. That wall Summer so often hid behind - the wall of distance, of space, of casual - that wall was slowly coming down. For here was Tom, in her world... a place few had been invited to see with their own eyes. And here was Summer, wanting him there. Him, no one else.

Yeah, we rock this way.

Snippets of discussion after seeing "Inception".

Sis I: "I wonder..is the word 'inception' ever used in real life? What's the verb of 'inception'? To inceive? Usually we use the verb "to conceive"; they have the same meaning."

Me: "Because the movie wouldn't be so cool anymore if it's called "Conception", would it? People would think it's some kind of chick flick about a pregnant woman or something.."

Sis II: "Yeah! And the producers would make the sequel for the movie, called "Contraction."

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Broken

And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it’s already happened.

From somewhere within.

I don't think I will ever understand you but I suppose that's for the best. Maybe I wouldn't feel this way if I can read you like a book. I always like being in control, especially when it comes to my feelings, but right now you're making me wonder. I'm drawing a blank.

There were times when I was sure I wasn't imagining things and that it would be impossible for you not to see it too. And then you turned around and undoed everything.

Everytime we got closer, it was almost like I just met you for the first time and we had to build our relationship all over again.

I wonder if this is just a wall that you try to build to keep people away, but then let me ask you this. Why do you want to keep people away? To be independent?

Loneliness is underrated. There is nothing more hurtful than feeling completely alone.

Even though we all strive to be an independent being, who doesn't want to be loved?

It's alright though for now. I don't mind doing it again and again if that's what you want. I guess there are moments when I feel like it's worth it. You're worth it.

I like me when I'm with you. You remind me how important friendship is. Friendship is the foundation of a relationship, and not the other way around. You remind me how fun it is talking and spending time with friends without worrying about any ulterior motives.

I like my dorky, lame self when I'm with you, because you tell it to my face that I'm being lame. Sometimes at the most unexpected moments, you would look at me and say something sweet that would leave me grinning for days.

But you should know that I value you as a friend more than anything. So nothing's gonna happen, I promise. The next move is yours.

To Summer.

I love how she makes me feel, like anything's possible, or like life is worth it. - Tom.