Another Week.

Whenever I meet someone new, or in that phase or just getting to know someone, I always like to ask a lot of questions. How do you know someone otherwise, right? So I thought, I can do it here. The problem is, aside from probably 2 of my family members, nobody else actually reads this. (Speaking of which, I have to ask my sisters when was the last time they logged in here) So sad. The story of my life.

What's sadder is asking a question and having myself answer it! But what to do, right? Anyway, I come across a blog in another person's website with some interesting questions. So here's what I'm gonna do. Whenever I feel like it (read: have no more interesting subject to write about), I'll post each question and we'll see.

For someone with lots of opinion (and unable to shut up), this could be fun. You can answer it too and we'll..um, get to know each other better. (although I'm already in first-name basis with both my sisters. How 'well' do you want us to get?)

(You know I'm kidding, don't you?)

So, yeah! Let's get that on next! But first things first, I just would like to write some updates in the past week. Work? You really wanna know? Well. It's going fine, I suppose. I love my customers and all, but sometimes I'm so frustrated I wanna just scream on top my lungs: GIVE ME A BREAK! It's bad enough that these days I have to always work on Saturdays when I'm not supposed to, but even on Saturday night, or on a Sunday, I keep getting calls and texts from customers.

Alright, alright. I'm gonna stop right here. I'm gonna end up complaining more than I should if I continue. So let's move on, shall we? Over the weekend I started watching season 8 of 24, which is pretty good! My friend was really awesome for burning the complete season on CD. I think I have to treat him dinner or something. I've started rereading Harry Potter again. Last night we watched the 7th installment on DVD again so it seems right to read the last book before the movie comes out next week.

I also impulsively booked a ticket to Hong Kong for next year!

I know, it's so not me to be impulsive, but I did it!

I'll get nervous thinking what I'm gonna do if I really have to travel alone, so I'm not going to. It's still a couple months away so I figured there's plenty of time for my friends to join me (or me to chicken out?) It's exciting though!

Met some old friends on Friday night which was really fun!

Hope you had a nice weekend too and we'll catch up soon! ♥

Now this is not worth reading.

You know I'm feeling bored when I'm starting to goof around with my camera and taking pictures and all.

At least Monday is over. Catch up with you soon!

Quote of the Day

After everything, I still believe this world is a beautiful place.

October Highlights

Oh my gosh, this month is passing by so quickly! I almost couldn’t believe when I woke up and saw the calendar the other day. It’s already November?! Shopping malls are starting to put Christmas decorations, and more than once I had to stop myself just to think about what a year it has been!

Alright, so I haven’t exactly found cure for cancer, or won any lotteries. I probably haven’t made significant changes to anyone’s lives but I feel like I have changed a great deal and gone through a lot! Wow, now this sounds like something I should write at the end of the year!

Yeah, fine. I’m gonna stop myself here then. Otherwise I won’t have much to talk about again coming December.

Just thought it might be appropriate to write some snippets of the things that’s been happening this month, since I hardly blog anymore (again, not that I don’t want to!) I hope I can redeem myself (and my typing skills.) Oh, by the way, I’m writing this on my laptop at home on a Friday evening, while the television is playing in mute. The only sound I’m hearing is my own tapping of keyboards and tickles of waters from the pool outside my unit. Ah, complete bliss.

1) Phuket trip (01-04 Oct)
First time going to Phuket and first time travelling with my two dear colleagues! I thought I was going to have a relaxing weekend abroad when I could just lay down in the beach and sun tanned all day long, and got drunk every night. I couldn’t have been more wrong! Reality was, it was a full-packed action weekend, filled with adrenaline-rush, lots of raining and getting wet, body-aching, crazy midnight bar actions involving pingpong shows and serious stripping acts.

Don’t act so innocent! Haha. Naked girl, ping pong balls, birds, needles. Very flexible and multifunctional vagy-gy. Use your imagination. It was hilarious! It was an eye opening experience, I’m telling you. At one point the bird used landed on my lap! I swore right there and then that I would burn my pants as soon as I got home.

A full day trip to Phi Phi island, went snorkelling and swimming by the beach, tried wakeboarding and had lots and lots of tom yum soup and not enough massages. All in all it was a good trip nonetheless. It stirred up my travel bug and I’m already looking forward to my next vacation!

2) Wedding dinner at Grand Copthorne (06 Oct)
My dearest former colleague invited me to her wedding reception on a Wednesday night. Although I came straight from work with dishevelled face, it was one of the most memorable wedding I’ve been to! It was great to see all my former colleagues again and you know, up to this point I’ve been to lots of weddings of my dad’s friends, and my sisters’ friends, but not so many of my own friends’. Knowing the bride or groom personally just made the whole evening more beautiful and I even teared up during the procession as the groom was given some tasks to get to the stage. At one point he was asked, “What do you love most about Eileen?” I think I don’t have to recite his answers to tell you that this moment was when I almost cried! The food was some awesome 7-course dinners which made me feel super guilty (but happy). After attending a friend’s wedding I always feel like getting married myself!

3) A ‘passionate’ cruise at sea ! (07 Oct)
Being in this yacht line of business, I have lots of customers asking all sorts of questions you can possibly think of about the cruise and the itineraries they can expect. My boss thought it would be great for me to experience what I’m selling. So he brought us along for an evening cruise with ‘Passion’ to highlight the different islands and activities we can do during the trip. I had a lot of fun! The boat was a 33’ motor cruiser and it could go really, really fast! We sat outside by the deck while the boat was cruising in full speed, and I don’t even want to imagine how silly I must have looked with my hair flying in all directions! I can see why some people just fall in love with the life at sea. People who love boating rarely turn back. You either love it, and try to be near the sea whenever you can, or you don’t and the thought of spending 4 hours in the boat made you feel sea sick.

4) Eat, Pray, Love (08 Oct)
I couldn’t remember the last time I watched a movie, probably since Inception. It was tad too long and I was really excited to see Eat, Pray, Love with my two girlfriends. The movie was delightful and entertaining from start to finish. I haven’t read the book, so comparison couldn’t be made, but I really admired Julia Robert’s character. It takes a lot of guts to really just go away to somewhere foreign and detach yourself from ‘real’ life. Although, at the end of it, one might wonder, which life is real? When your life is made of pretenses, isn’t it almost a sin to yourself to stay?

After which we went to Chijmes for some drinks. Le Baroque really had one of the best live music I’ve ever seen! From “The Empire State of Mind” to “Love the Way You Lie”, I lost track of time!

5) Little Nicolas and more Le Baroque (16 Oct)
My colleague and I have been talking about having a French night out which included seeing a French movie, having a French dinner and talking in French and ending the night at a French bar! Well, so it didn’t exactly go that way, since the only French word I knew was ‘Oui’ and after like, three times saying it, it got old quickly. I realized too that you couldn’t really have a conversation with just that one vocabulary.
Me: “Oui?”
Sam: “Oui oui!”
Me: “OUI!!!”
Sam: “Hm...Oui!!!”
Me and her: “.........”
See what I meant?

Catching the French movie was easy enough. The Picturehouse was showing this really adorable cute movie Little Nicolas! It was a feel-good, funny flick which really got me happy afterwards. We thought of sneaking cans of beer into the cinema but we ended up having the beer before the movie. Classy indeed. Anyway, it was a great night that ended with dancing and beers. (I’m certain the French won’t approve of that!)

6) Halloween night! (30 Oct)
The title pretty much explained itself. I tried being Kat Von D although I think it was more like the ‘Before’ version of her, or perhaps the Kat Von D if she had never made it to television. Kat Von D without the money and personal trainer! How terrible! I had to put on tattoos in both my arms and put on long black wig, heavy make-up and stars at the side of my face, and although I looked ridiculous, it was fun getting ready! When else am I able to dress up like that, right? We went to Clarke Quay and it was packed like a can of sardines! Inside the club I could hardly move and it was skin-on-skin with the people around you all night long! I’m still undecided whether I liked it, but well. Half of Singapore population must have been in that club that night!

Apart from these, I’ve been doing another freelance writing job. I did the last article in basically one day! But my editor seemed to like the writing, so no complaints here. If you want to see, here are my previous published articles for Mind+ magazine.

What a month! November is gonna be even busier as I'm bracing myself for more work. But hey, ready or not, here I come!

Check them out.

By the way, just in case you're wondering what the two big icons are doing in the right side of my blog, well. Those are basically my life these days.

I'm promoting and doing sales for Neo Yacht at least 5 days a week. Add some impromptu, unplanned, out-of-the-way things I'm doing over the weekend, it's pretty much a handfull. Do check out the link and 'like' it on Facebook, because otherwise, we're not friends anymore.

Teehee. Kidding, of course.

And the new project is the online store I'm helping out with. It's very new, so not many people know about it. It'll be really awesome if you can help spread the words to your friends. Check it out yourself too; we've just launched our first collection and it's a really exciting process. Basically we know that some people are apprehensive about shopping clothes online because they aren't certain of the quality since they can't see and feel the materials upon buying. Yet, at the same time, these days online shopping has become really common because people are getting busier and sometimes it's really just a matter of convenience, buying things online and having them delivered to your doorstep without the hassles of shopping. That's the inspiration we have to launch this store. All the garments and pieces that you see here are in good qualities and we don't compromise quality over quantity.

Alright, I know I'm probably rambling. Anyhow, we do have a link to our Facebook page there and the website where you can see all our collections. I welcome any suggestions or comments and supports are deeply appreciated!

Sorry I haven't been writing much. It's long weekend now so I'm gonna try writing something tonight. In the mean time, feel free to browse around and I'll catch up with you soon!

Alone.

And now you're with someone else and I must go home, alone, to think about how long it takes to heal an alien heart.

Quote of the Day

The most significant gifts are the ones most easily overlooked. Small, everyday blessings: woods, health, music, laughter, memories, books, family, friends, second chances, warm fireplaces, and all the footprints scattered throughout our days.

Control.

I hope you all won't hate me for haven't been updating this site for... Gosh, I've lost track. I feel like I'm losing a little bit of my sanity everyday as I'm getting more and more attached to work.

My friend keeps telling me. "Work is not who you are. It's what you are paid for. Don't get too emotionally attached, and don't ever bring it home."

But what can I say when being emotional is part of my nature? How can I distinguish work and personal life so easily when most of the time I spend is at work?

And I let people get to me easily. I take the people I meet, the people I interact with, too seriously. I take their opinions to heart. I beam over their satisfaction, and gloom over their complains.

What is the secret of being professional? How can you separate and compartmentalize parts of your life as you wish? How can you not let things get to you?

"You learn as you go along," I was told. I guess. It's true for everything. I wish I can learn faster because I'm being way too emotional for my own good.

Sorry. To be fair, things have been pretty okay for me. I haven't entirely been miserable during my absence, okay. I'll blog more happy things next time, I promise!

..Maybe.

And maybe I'll sleep at the station because there's nothing to go home to but an empty fridge and some stale mayonnaise.

And maybe I'll make friends with the guys sleeping under cardboard boxes and newspapers and we'll discuss what it means to love and to live.

And maybe I'll wander the city, one lost particle in a dust storm of Mondays, late nights and reports due yesterday.

And maybe I'll get on a plane or a ship and get lost in places I've never been lost in before.

And maybe I'll keep my phone on me in case you call. And tell me there's something to come home to.

Beautiful stranger

Even though you're the most hopeless guy, I like the way you get me all giddy and dreamy whenever I think about you.

I feel like a little girl who's just had her first crush with someone she barely knew. I guess in a way I have to thank you for reminding me that at least I still have a soul. The ability to like someone in the most innocent way, the easiest way.

Not that I think we'll ever have a chance. But it's alright. I like liking you as it is. I think I'll freak out if I get something more out of it.

So. Stay that way. Stay mysterious and nonchalant. You're cute that way. ;)

No matter where you go, bring your love with you.

One is the loneliest number!

So my ex-colleague is getting married and she messaged us a few weeks back over at Facebook to let us know that we are all invited to the party. She included a bunch of us ex-colleagues in the message and said:

"Hey, so PJ + bla bla (her respective other), Rachel + bla bla (her respective other), Bee Hwee + bla bla (her respective other - in fact her husband!), Seraph + bla bla (her respective other), Christina, ...."

COMMA!

>No plus, not even a fake name inserted there to save my pride. That's it, just comma!! So saaaddd!!!

I was hit by the realization that I may be the only single one among us. Heck, I may be the only single one in town! In the whole Singapore! *insert all sorts of mockery here* Go ahead, you know you want it.

While everyone is going to be there with their plus one, the fact that I will be going alone will be magnified and people will start to talk. A girl at a certain age, alone, unacceptable! I anticipate whispers and gossips as people stared, trying to find out what's wrong with me, and within 5 seconds of talking to me, they would understand why.

I've been living with myself for the past 23 years! Now you know why I'm crazy sometimes!

Aside from the sad prospect of going solo to attend a beautiful wedding ceremony of a lovely friend of mine, I am absolutely excited to meet my ex-colleagues!

p.s: By the way, in case you couldn't tell, this is meant to be a joke! ;))

p.s.s: I'm writing this while listening to Lil' Wayne - I'm Going Solo. It's a cruel coincidence, isn't it? Ha!

Have been.

I know you're just a rag doll now, sewn together with memories that we might have had.
I know you're just the dream inside of a dream
And don't worry, I know I don't know you, anymore.

Dentist visit

I have never liked the word D! Dragon! Doctor! Dentist! Double D!

But now I'm gonna talk about my dysfunctional relationship with the d in dentist! As a kid, my brain has already been shutting down and rejecting the idea of going to the dentist. Gosh, I can still remember the fear I would have just by sitting at the waiting room, trying so hard to distract myself by reading magazines, but of course it didn't really help. In my mind I kept thinking I heard some screaming going on inside the room. Maybe my parents would have heard that too, and thus, rescued me from the premises.

And of course! The smell! Why is it that all dentist offices have the same smell?! Do they have the same air freshener? Is there a handbook on that? You can't be certified as a dentist unless you buy this freshener which smells like, pain and fear!

To conclude, it's safe to say that I would be really, really content and pleased with myself if I don't ever need to pay a visit to this fine establishment again. But the time has come and I have to fulfill my destiny! Since a few days ago I've been having toothache, which came on and off. Well, I could still eat and the pain wasn't so intense that prohibited me from doing anything else. For most parts it was still tolerable, so I thought initially it was just a case of sensitive tooth from something I might have eaten.

It wasn't until yesterday that the pain was getting more intense and at night I couldn't sleep because my tooth was throbbing, and there's nothing I could do about it! In the morning I thought I couldn't be able to get up and go to work, but somehow I managed. And yeah, the pain was still on-and-off and during the day, I didn't feel as much pain at work as I was during the night before.

But it's clear that something was wrong, and I wasn't about to wait until the pain got worse, so this morning I started calling dentist offices to make an appointment. Alright, I'm starting to bore you so I'm gonna speed up. Let's just say that it freaking hurts during the examination!

It was bad enough having a throbbing tooth, it was even worse when someone kept poking and scratching it! (And for your information, there! The smell was there again! I told you - same air-freshener.) By the end of it, I almost couldn't speak because the dentist gave me some anesthetic so I couldn't feel the left side of my mouth. Isn't it crazy, how something so small like a tooth (which otherwise you wouldn't pay too attention to, I mean, compared to let's say, your arm! Or your leg) could generate that much pain.

Once my toe nail broke and shite, I almost pissed myself out of pain. And it's just a freaking toe nail! What happens if my fingers got cut off!!! Maybe I'll pass out. *touch wood, touch wood!*

Anyway, yeah. They did an x-ray too, and my wisdom teeth were in the wrong direction. Although, they were all at the very back so the doctor said it's not that urgent to get them removed. Eventually I need to, though. He mentioned that these days all you gotta do is sleep, and they would remove all of them during your sleep, and you would wake up feeling nothing and no pain and the procedure is done! Sign me up, please! That's the best method I've ever heard. They need to apply the same method to..child birth process, I'd say. Ha!

Sorry, getting sidetracked here. So, after the long and painful examination and treatment, the dentist gave me a painkiller to last me 12 hours each, so tonight I expect a painless sleep. But that treatment only already cost me $170!

Please, don't remind me of all the nice things I could have bought with that $170! But I guess, that's the price I have to pay for not having throbbing toothache again!

Dang it. See, I told you I don't like the word D!

Uncalled

What is up with the water lately? Do I miss my memo that today people are allowed to be jerks? And I thought girls are supposed to be the sensitive ones.

Sometimes I wonder if I should stop being so jokingly all the time. I cover my awkwardness with jokes, trying to be funny ha-ha to make people laugh, even if that makes me look silly. My sisters always say that I'm the clown in the family, not necessarily because I'm always happy, but because when I am, I think I kinda overdo it. Some people may call me lame. The kinder ones would say I'm a little bit, well, kinda, funny. Sometimes.

Anyway, what happened earlier, I was just being my usual lame slash funny self, and I was in no way trying to hint anything or even being sarcastic. To have you suddenly explode on me like that wasn't cool at all.

I mean, how long have you known me? How long have we known each other? I know you get stressed out a lot, I know you're an overachiever and you hate failing and you hate disappointing your friends, but seriously. The more you think about it, the more you make it as a pressure, the more you're gonna piss off the people who care about you.

We've been through this more than once. I feel like, this is always the part where we get frustrated with each other. You're probably thinking the same thing about me. Oh, I'm too lame, I joke when it's not the time to, I'm too sensitive, I'm too negative, or whatever else you may think of.

But I've never listened to your one liner and just immediately jumped into conclusion and threw a tantrum. The whole thing today, it really threw me off. I don't know that I have been a part of the things that have been stressing you out. Like, I demanded something in the midst of your busy, crazy life. I've always understood all of that, and it's part of the reason why I just wanna cheer you up every time we talk. It's not by any means, meant to push your buttons.

I know, that I'm not supposed to have expectations now. I think we both know that. Realistically speaking, you shouldn't have expectations for me either. I'm sorry if you feel that way, especially if you feel that my expectation is stressing you out. Then don't. Really, don't let it. I never meant it to be.

I think it's best that we deal with ourselves for now. We have been extremely busy these days, haven't we? Yeah, it's alright. Let it just flow. We'll find ways to catch up somehow. For now, maybe you should focus on your life, and don't let me distract you. We'll both be okay. I'm alright. I'm just really tired.

Anyway. I'm done rambling. I was browsing through IMDb earlier and I came across this quotes from the movie In the Land of Women. I saw it on DVD a while back, and thought it was pretty decent. Maybe I'm biased 'cos Adam Brody was in it. So, there's this quote I like. It goes something like this.

There's a big fucking world out there. It's messy, and it's chaotic, and it's never, never ever the thing you'd expect. It is ok to be scared, but you cannot allow your fears to turn you into an asshole, not when it comes to the people that love you, the people that need you.

I know sometimes I may be guilty on that too. But I'm trying not to. Because it always sucks when people take out their uncalled anger on you. So, I'm trying not to ever do that again.