New blog.. Come join me there!

It's been a while..

I have not completely stopped writing, but I move my blog to another site at www.xteena21blog.wordpress.com, simply because.. well, it's time to start fresh!

I will be occasionally reposting some posts from this blog as I've kept this blog practically throughout my university days and more, and there are plenty of fun stories I would like to share, but I'll be writing new posts over there too, so come and join me in this fun adventure!

My new blog here ;)

To a Smashing 2016!

Hello 2016!

How nice of you to finally emerge in our lives. Your friend 2015 has been really kind to me and I wish you will treat me even better!

It's easy to feel slightly nostalgic and sentimentil whenever a year just passed, and this time is no exception. I'm truly blessed with the opportunities and experiences that I've had in the past year; the new places I've been, people I've met and bond I've strengthened. 

lt's amazing to see that I've gone through so much and done things I've never thought I could accomplish. But here we are. Survived. Excelled. Soared. 

I'm in a good place. I'm content in a way that I'm happy with where I am, yet I know I can only go uphill from here and my ambition is higher than ever to accomplish even more things, conquer greater heights and create even remarkable impact.

In 2016, my hope and resolution is that. 

To challenge myself even more.

To take on bigger responsibilities.

To love harder and unapologetically.

To make better friendships, to be a better friend. 

To go to more places and see more of what this world has to offer.

At the end of the day, all I want is to know within myself that I've given it my all. No half-hearted attempts. No regrets, no what-ifs.

I'm still this introverted, sometimes awkward, hungry to learn, eager to prove myself, hopeless romantic. And I don't wish to change anything.

Let's toast to a better year, to fully live up to our potentials and... to be happy. 

I can't wait.. to see what the year has in store for me. 

Japan 2015!

For the longest time Japan was never in my top holiday destination because people have been saying things like:

“Japan is so expensive!”

“Just go to Korea and it’ll be just as good and less expensive!”

Now I realized how silly that was because a) since when I trust people’s judgment so blindly? I love One Direction, despite what others say! And b) I like Korean culture and food just as much as I like getting my eyebrows plucked.

In short, not so much.

My almost 29-years of age of existence has been deprived of this Japan experience and it all changed when I saw the banner of Harry Potter theme park in Osaka and my inner wizard screamed.

It was time to go to Japan even when Harry Potter theme park was the only decent place I could go.

‘Arry Potter! How I’ve missed you!
What more can a child (at heart) ask for!

So that’s when I started planning for my year-end Japan trip and now that I’ve returned, I am so glad that I saw that banner on that fateful day which led me to this!

Japan, where have you been all my life?

Okay, that was a bit dramatic.

This shall be a post on my Japan experience, I promise! (But mind the occasional nonsense, I call it my writing style.)

Anyway, we went for a total of 12 days and despite wanting to go to many other places, we could only fit Tokyo and Osaka! I think it’s very important that you have a travel partner that share your pace, you know what I mean. Some people really want to pack and see everything in one trip, while others may like more free and easy kinda trip. Both Greg and I enjoy the latter (because we are both lazy bums) and he’s perfectly alright going to 3 theme parks (instead of Mount Fuji or other temples) because I’m more of a city-kiddish-kinda girl. Ah bless his heart.

The whole trip was a whirlwind, we ate like there’s no tomorrow cos the food was glorious! From the amazing fatty tuna to the best ramen we’ve ever had, to Yoshinoya which tasted 100 times better than here, to our neverending nibbles of takoyaki, crab legs, desserts and other nonsense. In our true fashion, we managed to sneak in some KFC and Mcd in there too!

Out of the 12 days we were there, we probably spent a total of 7 days in Tokyo and 5 in Osaka, and altho that sounded like a lot, it passed by so fast! We went to the usual attractions like Ikebukuro, Akihabara, Shibuya, Tsukiji Market and spent 2 full days in both Disneyland and Disneysea. I even managed to randomly meet my old elementary school friend by mere coincidence (he happened to be there.)

I can’t even decide what would be the highlight of my trip ‘cos everything was superb. I love, love, love Disneysea! And equally love, love, love Universal Studio Japan and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter! It’s probably the best ride I’ve ever taken and it made me go all ga-ga over Harry Potter again and (surprise, surprise) I came home and rewatched all the Harry Potter movies all over again. 

Another thing worth mentioning is how courteous, friendly and polite people Japanese are. Even the people who cleaned our plates in food centres were all smileys and kept saying thank you (what! I’m not used to this politeness) and trains were awfully quiet because no one talked on the phone due to respect for each other (what!!! Can I move here to Japan!) 

Also, the weather was perfect. The tuna sashimi was perfect… Ichiran Ramen was perfect.. okay, now I’m daydreaming and drooling..

I think I should stop talking and just putting photos here so you can feel jealous.. haha!

Thanks for your hospitality and wonderful culture, Japan! We'll definitely be back!

20 Questions

It feels like forever since I last wrote in this blog. I missed the freedom and time when I can freely write at my heart's content! Somehow time is so scarce these days as I work from 10-7 and it's taking pretty much my whole day every day!

Anyway, since this is the first time I wrote her after a long-year hiatus, I thought let's do the 20 Questions tag! Let's see if I could give half-decent answers for these..

3 turn offs... 1) Lack of passion/enthusiasm 2) Rudeness. Can't stand 'em. 3) Lack of manner (i.e: people who makes chewing noise when they eat

3 turn ons.. 1) Positivity and energy! 2) Wittiness and love for random conversation 3) Black-rimmed glasses

Phobia: Frogs!

Celebrity crush: I have a lot! Haha. But at the moment it's probably between James McAvoy and Tom Welling

Smoke/drink: Social drinker but I've never smoked in my life!

Favorite movie: Before Sunrise and Before Sunset :)

Name: Err.. what does it mean? My name? My favorite name? Haha.

Favorite band: Changes every time, but right now I have to say probably One Direction 'cos I've been listening their new song 'Perfect' on repeat!

Favorite music artist: Sam Smith!

Embarrassing memory: Too many to recount! Haha. Probably a toss between the time I peed in public in a bookstore when I was (debatable) err.. very young.. err.. and the time I actually cried (genuinely sobbed) because my sister said my favorite Backstreet Boys' member has a sunken cheek.

Last thing ate: Tomyum cup noodle!

Last text received: Literally 1 minute ago from a colleague who said he got 3 days mc

4 things I hate.. 1) insects 2) fake people 3) mind-games 4) dishonesty

4 things I love! 1) The character Pacey from Dawson's Creek *swoons* 2) TV shows! 3) Travelling and seeing the world 4) Quotes, song lyrics, meaningful quotes. I basically love words.

Random fact: I'm actually an introvert

3 People I miss.. I only have one: my mom!

Tattoo I want: I never really thought of getting a tattoo but if I have to get one, I prolly will opt for a meaningful quote

A regret: Not behaving and making my mom proud when I still had the chance.

Wish at 11:11: Being able to spend the rest of my life travelling and experiencing new things

Craziest thing done.. You don't want to know. I've done pretty crazy things.

Loving You.

Real.

Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.

My Favorite Lipcolors!

I love me some lip colors! Over the years, my makeup routine has changed. I went from all-around heavy on the eye (insert: dark eyeshadow, eyeliner and mascara) to just curl my eyelashes, blush and some color to my lip!

Lip colors can really brighten your face, and I do feel, especially when you're sitting in an office all day with the air condition on, you tend to look pale when you don't add just a hint of colors to your lips. Just touch-up on your lipstick, and you look ten times better and fresher!

So I thought I'm gonna do a post about the different lipsticks and lipgloss that I've been experimenting and also share my favorites! 

Firstly, these!

I used to love, love lipgloss! But I think nowadays I prefer lipstick and when you find the right lipstick that's moisturizing and doesn't make your lips feel so dry, that's how you find a winner. So let's start from left to right.

1. Motives Lip Gloss in Drama Queen

I actually got this as a Christmas present from a colleague, and the color is this nice soft pink with glitters and gloss. It actually looks more nude when I put it on my lip, so I definitely would love to see the color show off more. If you just want a hint of color and gloss without being too obvious, I think you can give this a try!

2. Stila Liquid Lipstick in Fiery

Okay, this one is really, really red, I gotta warn you. It's so red that even when you try, you can't completely wipe the color off so easily. Maybe that's a good thing cos you know the color won't rub off when you eat or something. It feels kinda milky in your lip - I'm still trying to rock on a full-front bold red lipstick but if you do, this one definitely takes the cake. I just don't know whether this is the best product in terms of feeling nice and moist on your lip, because I do think this gets dry after wearing this a while, And you have to be really skilled with the brush while applying this because like I said, it's really red!

3. Etude House Peach Water Gloss in Peach Milk

I got this as a gift also, and it's the first time I'm trying out a product from Etude House. Can't say much about it - it does the job, it gives me this nude, natural color as well and this one is not as glittery as the Motives lipgloss. 

4. Curvy Lip Silicone in 805

What attracted me to this one is its packaging. I bought this from Sasa in Hong Kong upon just randomly browsing at their cosmetics section. It says that it has silicone to make your lips look fuller and plumper, so hey, I'm sold! I like this lip gloss as the color is very nude and it feels soft in my lip - although a bit too sticky for my liking. It also has this very interesting applicator that is not like other lipglosses. In terms of whether it really makes your lip fuller and thicker? Hm, I kinda feel that it does, although that could very well just be me. Oh and this stays for quite a while too! Next time I'm in Hong Kong, I would definitely wanna see if they have this in other colors.

Okay, moving on to strictly lipsticks, which I love now! And I'm starting to embrace these bolder colors as opposed to just sticking to natural, nude colors when I was younger. 

5. Revlon Colorburst Lipstick in True Red

So this is probably one of the earlier lipsticks in red that I got to try out something bold. And I really like it! It's matte bright red, and I usually apply this with another lipstick brush instead of the lipstick itself for a more precise application. It tends to be a bit dry though, so I always carry my lip balm everywhere to just add on whenever my lip feels dry. 

6. Revlon Super Lustrous Lipstick in Plum Velour

Oh I love, love this color! Tried this for fun as well as I've never tried purple lipstick before. But surprisingly I really like this and it definitely makes me more adventurous to maybe try something darker also. This purple is not as dark as it looks, it still brightens up my face but I do feel more 'dark and mysterious' whenever I put this on. And the texture is just perfect, unlike the previous Revlon, this one doesn't make my lips feel dry at all. 

7. Mac Amplified Lipstick in Craving

Another favorite of mine is this Mac lipstick in darker pink. I absolutely love this color too and it's both moisturizing and comfortable to use. I meant to actually look for other colors of this collection too because I love the feeling of this in my lips!

But, actually I was sidetracked on the way to Mac by the sales lady from Laneige and since then, I've been a huge fan of this brand! I think this is the first Korean brand that I love! I started using their lipbalm and their BB cream as well and so far they're fabulous. So let's go on to my Most Favorite Lipsticks so far, both by Laneige!

8. Laneige K-Secret Cushion Tint in Red Orange

So this has been my favorite for a few months now and it's so unique that one side of it is the lipstick, while the other side is the applicator. The applicator itself is a round-sponge that you can use to dab the lipstick in your lips to blend the colors. It's super easy and convenient to use and I love the color! It doesn't wipe off easily too and it's not dry at all. 

A couple of weeks ago, though, I got this new serum intense lipstick and we got a winner, ladies and gentlemen!

9. Laneige Serum Intense Lipstick in LED Pink

This is my absolute favorite! I'm obsessed with this that I have to carry this everywhere I go, and I make sure I do a touch-up when I'm in the office. The color is actually very pink (it doesn't show that way due to poor lightning) and I normally don't wear bright pink so I wasn't sure at first. But I love, love it! The pink looks amazing and it feels great too! Super hydrating and not dry at all, I can even straightaway apply the lipstick without lipbalm and still feel great. I would definitely recommend everyone try this brand if you're in the lookout for lipsticks. After this, I would certainly get their other colors too!  

So there you go! Hope you enjoy the post and find it somewhat useful, otherwise well, just look at the pretty pictures! I would love to know your favorite lipcolors too!

Stay awesome, people!

Let's do OOTD!

Let's take some photos! (And since my place is up the highest level, the ride on the lift plus the full-length mirror makes the perfect #ootd moments!)

Anyway I'm not what you call a fashionista, but sometimes it's just good to have fun with my outfits! I hardly shop outside these days, but I try.. And when I can't, then online shopping is the next best thing!

Here are some outfits from last week that I thought would be fun to show off cos they're kinda different from my usual get-go.

So I got this cute colorful jumper from Zalora and so far I love to wear it on the weekends. The off-shoulder sleeve is a fun lil' touch to the outfit, and just pair it with my red small bag from Nine West, off I go!

I've been wanting to sport this flannel look for a while cos it looks casual yet trendy. It gives an extra 'tomboyish' style to the otherwise boring tanktop-and-shorts combination. I wore this on the weekend as well, but I think I can do a Casual Friday to work on this too with nice pair of jeggings and heels! Got the flannel shirt from Topshop and the shorts is from Cotton On.

Okay, I wasn't too sure about this one cos I usually don't wear pencil skirts. Usually my go-to work outfits are dresses. But I saw this skirt online and it looked great on the model (of course right?) so I thought I'd give it a try. I was gonna wear a shirt and tuck it in the skirt, but I realize that my hip is lower than most people, so whenever I wear a skirt, it doesn't fall nicely but always a bit too high for me because of my hip-disposition. So I decided to just look for a top which hangs loosely and not too long so I didn't have to tuck it in and my hip wouldn't really show. 

Surprisingly I quite like this combination so I'll experiment more with different tops and maybe similar skirts.

Oh and I really love this dress! It looks like a 2-piece but it's actually a one-piece dress. Got this from Zalora also from their Chinese New Year collection so you see the details on the top is very new year-feel! So pretty right? And it has high-neck design so it kinda feels like a cheongsam top. I wore this on the first day of Chinese New Year during visitation and so far I love it!

That's all for now! If you like seeing more of this post, let me know and I can try doing maybe a weekly OOTD compilation. It could be fun, although it probably will get boring after a while :)

Have a lovely weekend, people! And stay awesome!

I'm sorry that I'm not sorry.

I need to get this off my chest.

I've come a long way since I was a silly 20-year old living out in my parents' place, spending money and partying away. I was that kid who needed validation, who loved being the center of attention, surrounded by friends because I couldn't take being alone. I didn't want to be lonely - so I overcompensated. 

I made bad choices, yes I know. But who doesn't? I've grown to someone who's comfortable enough being in her own skin, who no longer needs a comformation from society to 'fit in' and be accepted. I learned that it's not a matter of how many friends you have, or how many parties you go to that makes you a better person. 

I'm finally content - with the job that I'm passionate about, my family and partner of the past 4 years, and close friends I've known for years. It used to be 'hey I don't agree with your life choices and materialistic, hedonistic behaviour but let's be friends nonetheless' but now I take comfort in the fact that I can get away from people who are toxic and negative.. and be okay with that decision.

So seriously. You. I don't hate you. I've known you for so long and I've tried my best to help you out. To offer a listening ear, to support you in your choices, but man, maybe it's time for me to think about me because you're bringing me down. I care about you, but I can't go through the same thing all over again when I feel that you're never listening to me and no matter how many times I told you to do something, you say yes and you agree, but you never do it! And again and again, you come to me and complain, and get frustrated, but what do you expect? If you never do something about it, how would you expect things to change?

We're adults enough to know that we can't control other people's action, or that we can't even control the situation that is happening to us, but all we can control is our own action. And if someone is just consistently beating you down, bringing your self esteem to a down low, belittling you, making everything a competition and shoving it in your face that you can't win... this person is NOT your friend and you should keep this person out of your life once in for all. Because fool me once, shame on you, but fool me twice, shame on me.

I'm fine being your punching bag sometimes if I know that at least you're trying to be better, to make things right. But how much more of it can I take? 

I have enough things on my plate as it is. Everyone has responsibilities right? I love my job but it's keeping me busy all the time, and the traveling isn't so bad nowadays but it was quite bad a few months ago when I had to be out of the country most of the time. My relationship takes effort too. I have my own insecurities, God knows that. I have a lot of issues. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm good enough - I push my boyfriend away because I'm convinced he's better off without me. 

What I'm saying is.. maybe I would have had more patience if this were happening in my early 20s. But I can't deal with this right now because I have my own things to worry about. I've reached the limit and I don't want to be mean. I wish you all the best and I hope you can sort out your life and feel confident again. I hope all that, and more. But I'm sorry that I can't be there to see you repeat the same mistakes and complain about the same thing over and over again. 

Take me away..

Looking at scenery pictures like this take my emotions to a place so beautiful that I want to stay and never come back. 

Quote of the Day

Content.

In a blink of an eye, we've come to the end of February. Life is scarily fast, sometimes progressing in a way that we can't keep up. 

I want to write about what I'm feeling these past 2 months. I want to reconnect, be in touch with my feelings and just write it out like I used to.. Seems that nowadays I don't even have much time to stop and think, let alone conveying my thoughts into words.

The past 2 months back at work has been both fulfilling and challenging. I started the year feeling an all-time high, really motivated like I can achieve everything I set my mind off to do. And if anything from last year taught me at all.. it was yes, your own capability may just surprise you. It's a matter of will power and working hard to achieve that goal!

In short, I am happy and grateful. Grateful that I chose this path, grateful that I'm surrounded by family and friends that are real and loyal, a supportive and patient boyfriend who stands all my antics. For the first time in a long time, I do feel contented. But it's the kind that makes me want to strive harder, because I know where my passion is.

Boyhood

I scream in delight when I heard about this movie. It's no surprise that I'm a huge, huge fan of Richard Linklater and the "Before" trilogy; in fact they are my most favourite movies of all time.

I remember being younger and so in love with Before Sunrise and Before Sunset that I had to make sure I made the guys I was currently dating watch (and love) them too. Somehow I wanted them to share the same deep emotional thoughts and wavelength that made me love these movies so much.

(No wonder those relationship never lasted. Ha!)

The genre is so unique; it's whether you love it, or you hate it. You either would fall deeply in love with it (like me), or find it super boring and when you just don't appreciate this type of deep conversation and relate able characters and pure emotions without exaggerating, special effects, all those Hollywood blah. My friend J is one of them.

In fact, now he admitted of finding it so boring that he almost fell to his death while watching it, but maintained his composure because I threatened him he wanted to impress me (so he said now). I probably had scarred him for life.

Anyway, I'm getting off track now. Let's get back to the point: Boyhood. Yes, so this is Richard Linklater's new movie and if you have been living in cave, I'm sure you've heard a huge buzz around; this being the only movie who took a spam of 12 years to film. It has also won a lot of awards (Golden Globes recently) and nominated for Oscars for more, including Best Picture and Best Director!

I missed seeing it in the cinema here, but I got lucky because the film was on the in-flight entertainment on my flight to Brisbane en route to New Zealand! So I spent almost 3 hours just indulging in this cinematic pleasure that brought back so much feelings and happiness (really similar feelings I have whenever I watch Before trilogy.)

My quickie review? It's an honest, real representation of a boy growing up in a family when like, all families, it's not always paradise. They overcome struggles and tears (divorce, alcoholic abusive dad, bullying at school, etc) but importantly also share the good times and, more importantly, how they stay together as a family despite their shortcomings.

I love, love, Patricia Arquette and Ethan Hawke in this. They make it flawlessly real and I can really feel Patricia's character's struggles being a single mom and doing the things she does. I love her! And as for Ethan Hawke, he's brilliant as expected, not that I ever doubted it.

Some of my favourite conversation from the movie:

Mason: Dad, there's no real magic in the world, right?
Dad: What do you mean?
Mason: You know, like elves and stuff. People just made that up.
Dad: Oh, I don't know. I mean, what makes you think that elves are any more magical than something like a whale? You know what I mean? What if I told you a story about how underneath the ocean, there was this giant sea mammal that used sonar and sang songs and it was so big that its heart was the size of a car and you could crawl through the arteries? I mean, you'd think that was pretty magical, right?

Mom: [Mason is leaving for college] This is the worst day of my life.
Mason: What are you talking about?
Mom: [Starts crying] I knew this day was coming. I just... I didn't know you were going to be so fucking happy to be leaving.
Mason: I mean it's not that I'm that happy... what do you expect?
Mom: You know what I'm realising? My life is just going to go. Like that. This series of milestones. Getting married. Having kids. Getting divorced. The time that we thought you were dyslexic. When I taught you how to ride a bike. Getting divorced... again. Getting my masters degree. Finally getting the job I wanted. Sending Samantha off to college. Sending you off to college. You know what's next? Huh? It's my fucking funeral! Just go, and leave my picture!
Mason: Aren't you jumping ahead by, like, 40 years or something?
Mom: I just thought there would be more..

The pace of the movie is slow; I found myself enjoying the first part of the film more than the last half, but overall I really enjoyed this journey. It's amazing seeing Mason (the main boy's character) grow up and see how he transforms to a young man and I think that's what happens to us: we get confused, distracted, frustrated sometimes at our lives. We act out, rebel as a teenager, but his mom is such a strong figure in his life that no matter what live throws at him, I feel that his mom can always keep him grounded.

You care so much about this family because you literally grow up with them. And I think this is the point of this crazy idea of shooting over the spam of 12 years. Anybody who watches it would relate so much to this person and this family.

Overall, I would recommend everyone to watch this! There are a lot of things I love about this film, and I found myself smiling and crying with them, and I think that says a lot when a film can make you feel that way.

Wrong in Just The Right Way.

“We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.

Let our scars fall in love.